God's Blessings on this IRL World!
by BoringBone
Summary: Kazuma is a NEET who spends all his time playing games and watching anime. In one of the new MMO's he's playing, he somehow got stuck with a party of idiots. By coincidence, he meets one of these idiots, a chuuni roleplayer brat who calls herself Megumin, in an internet cafe he was bumming around in one night... (Contains sexual situations and gratuitous shipping.) COMPLETE
1. NEET period

**God's Blessings on this IRL World!**

 **Disclaimer: Contains sexual situations.**

…

 **...**

 **Chapter 1: NEET Period**

 **Part 1**

In this dark room, I had been gazing at the synthetic light of my monitor screen for 9 hours now.

As an elite ranker who is in the top 10 in all the mainstream titles in Japan, this much is expected of me.

"Damn it!"

But…

"What the hell are you doing?! You've somehow attained the advanced class of crusader but you haven't even hit a target yet?!"

I had been playing a new game at the time.

"…Arch-Priest! You need to heal…no, not a party trick! And don't waste your precious spell-slots on useless party tricks!"

It wasn't that great of a game.

There were too many flaws

Balance?

There's no such thing.

We've already encountered one of the mid-bosses, a dullahan, in the tutorial town.

Somehow we killed it, but still!

As for why I'm still playing this game…

Well, I really don't know the exact reason as to why.

Perhaps I was more stubborn than I initially thought.

To make matters worse…

"…Please, I'm begging you, Arch-Wizard, don't cast explosion now, you'll kill all of us."

Somehow, I, an elite ranker, got stuck with this troublesome party.

"I am Megumin! Wielder of Explosion magic! One who…"

From our party chat, I heard the usual chuuni speech of this brat.

At first I thought that I struck gold when I gathered a party full of girls.

My popular period has finally arrived!

I declared such things to my guild friends from other games.

But…

A crusader who couldn't land any of her attacks, even though the crusader class didn't require mechanics beyond pointing and clicking.

An arch-priest who unlocked more party skills and emotes than any skill that was actually serviceable.

And to round up this trio of liabilities…

"Explosiooooon!"

An Arch-Wizard who spent all her skill points in the useless explosion magic skill-tree.

An RP-er chuuni brat who called herself Megumin.

As the words 'You Died' flashed across my screen, I heard the voice of the arch-priest, who had the online handle 'Aqua', in my earpiece.

"Ahhh! The character I've been levelling up as if he was my son! Megumin, how dare you, how dare you!"

"Aqua! You mustn't fight against a fellow party member! If you have abusing things to say, then you must direct them to me instead!"

Darkness, the crusader, displayed her questionable tendencies once more.

"Ah…I've unleashed my explosion. Thank you for the opportunity, everyone. I will log-off now."

Megumin would always log-off once she used her explosion.

She didn't give a crap about the game at all, she just wanted to use that explosion spell.

"Kazuma, as the party's leader, you have to discipline that girl! She can't just go around doing whatever she wants!"

The selfish Aqua who spent all the party's gold on purely cosmetic items and loot-boxes had the nerve to say such a thing.

"Everyone, I regret to say this, but I have to log-off soon. It has been a pleasure to play with you all today. Please treat me just as well tomorrow."

I didn't know if she really was an ojou-san IRL, or if Darkness was another role-player like Megumin, but it didn't matter, they were both equally useless.

And so I was left alone in the party-chat with Aqua.

"Ah, I'd love to stay and chat like we usually do, but I have a concert tomorrow. If you're in the Tokyo area tomorrow, make sure to stop by! Laters!"

This Aqua was a self-proclaimed idol.

As if I'd believe that such a horrid personality could belong to a real idol.

I thought about grinding my character some more, but eventually I just logged-off from the game.

I was getting messages from my other guild friends, asking for my assistance on quests.

I just didn't feel like doing anything, though.

Playing with that sad bunch had an effect of always sapping me of all energy and motivation.

I looked at the empty tray of food that I placed under my desk. On it was an unwashed plate that was plastered with the solidified grease of the curry my mother made for me.

I looked outside my curtainless window. There was a flurry of wet snow falling outside.

I looked at the time, 7:30 pm.

"…I guess I can bum around at an internet café or something."

This was around the time when my father came home.

I grabbed a coat and wore it over my tracksuit.

Going downstairs, I was relieved to see that my mother had gone back to her room.

She knew that I would always sneak off at this time.

And then I stepped outside into the cold night.

 **Part 2**

In the internet café, even though I didn't really feel like it, I ended up booting the client for that new game I had been playing.

'God's Blessings on this Wonderful World'.

I suppose, since this game had been occupying a lot of my attention recently, I've developed a habit and a natural inclination to play it.

Even though I really hated playing this game.

The bad game design I could put up with.

But those girls who just couldn't get a clue and would follow me wherever I went, no matter how many times I attempted to ditch them…

They were the primary deterrence as to why I couldn't derive any form of enjoyment out of this game.

Why can't I just get rid of them!

Even in the online realm, I was still this passive in my approach towards all things.

Logging on, I noticed that Megumin had come back, as well.

She sent me a message but I ignored her.

I didn't really feel like doing anything that would require more than 1/3 of my attention or effort.

I took to grinding in a fairly noobish training ground.

Meanwhile, I ignored the messages that Megumin would send me.

However…

After a while, the notification sound just got plain annoying.

I considered muting her, but that was more trouble than it was worth. She'd surely give me hell about it tomorrow.

"..."

I relented and checked her message...

 _Megumin: Hey! Wanna grind together? I want to grind hard with you! Let's grind together for the rest of the night!_

Don't say such suggestive things!

I accepted her invitation with the ease that came with habitual passivity.

She led me to one of the higher levelled training grounds.

Things like one-shot bears and manticores spawned here.

This was obviously a bad idea, but the most basic concepts always eluded Megumin's mind.

I prepared to cast all of my speed buffing skills as Megumin prepared to chant her explosion magic.

And that's when I suddenly heard a voice beside me.

"I am Megumin!"

I knew her voice too well.

I've been hearing it through my headphones since this game came out three months ago.

However, I had neglected to bring my headphones this time, and I didn't feel like using the ones for public use.

So, I heard this voice directly beside me.

She was a little girl with short black hair.

I noticed that she was wearing a red contact lens on one eye that seemed to glow when it reflected light, and an eye-patch covered the other.

She wore a knit sweater, a skirt that cut-off mid-thigh, and thigh high stockings, all black.

Slung across her chair was a black coat.

She had a choker around her neck and she wore fingerless gloves.

A chuuni brat.

Well, this was pretty much the image I conceived of her.

And now she was right there beside me.

I looked around and saw that she was attracting an audience as she did that stupid speech of hers.

To think that she'd even do this in an IRL public space!

I couldn't take the embarrassment anymore.

I stood, grabbed her shoulder, and pushed her down on her chair.

I turned around and regarded everyone.

"…S-Sorry. My friend can get a bit excitable at times."

The onlookers seemed to accept that explanation and returned their attention to their own business.

To the Megumin beside me, who I was sure would freak out at being handled in such a rough manner by a stranger, I said,

"Oi. Don't panic. It's me, it's me."

"I have a friend who advised me against the 'it's me, it's me' scam! You can't trick me so easily!"

She said this while she struggled against my grip on her shoulder.

"That friend you're talking about is me..."

"No way. He wouldn't even know what I looked like. We're online friends!"

She said that even though she was shouting 'I am Megumin' earlier.

Of course I would recognize her!

"No, just look at my screen for a second," I said.

She peered into my screen.

"!"

I felt some satisfaction as her eyes widened in surprise.

She slowly turned her head towards me.

"Y-You decided to stalk me IRL?!"

"Oi, why is that the conclusion you jump to?!"

 **Part 3**

After finishing the last bites of the burger I bought her, Megumin finally looked up from her meal.

"T-Thank you for the meal!"

She looked at me with sincere gratitude.

"…No, it's just cheap junk food, no need to thank me."

Since I already had dinner, I gave her my burger as well.

"W-Why are you displaying so much kindness? Um…even though you are a good friend online, I don't know you all that well yet. So, if you're expecting things from me, well…"

"It's not like that, OK?! And you shouldn't view junk food like this is an act of kindness. Really, what kind of life have you led so far?"

She averted her gaze.

"Ah, sorry."

How stupid of me.

She weakly smiled. "If you're really that sorry, then please consider buying me something for dessert…"

"…"

I felt like I was just being taken advantage of.

Regardless, I still bought her a hot cocoa.

She wanted something of the frozen variety, but it was already so cold outside.

She complained at first but didn't say anything more once she took a sip of the hot cocoa.

Eagerly sipping on the hot cocoa, I took this time to examine her closely.

She was fairly cute, wasn't she?

No, in fact, she could be considered a bishoujo.

"Hey, why are you looking at me like that? Are you checking me out?"

She said this as I was totally checking her out.

"You keep calling me 'you' all this time," I said. "And I've been calling you by your screen name, 'Megumin' all this time, too. Do you want to exchange our real names?"

"Hm? What are you talking about? My name really is Megumin."

"Ah, you mean that it's a nickname or something, right? So, can I call you Megumi-san?"

"…No, it's not a nickname or anything. My name really is Megumin."

I couldn't detect a hint of deceit in her lens covered eye.

"Well, in any case, my name is Satou Kazuma. Nice to meet you."

I held out my hand.

She grinned. "I am Megumin!"

"Don't start with that again!"

 **Part 4**

I've been meeting with this girl regularly now.

For the last three months or so, to give an approximation.

At first we met at the internet café for our usual questing with Aqua and Darkness.

And sometimes I would bring her to some junk food joint if I had enough money to spare.

However, as time went on, we began seeing each other outside of things related to that game.

For instance, one day, Megumin randomly asked me to help her study for her high school entrance exam.

"Kazuma is a NEET who wastes his potential as a youth in mind-numbing activities. But you should still be familiar with the entrance exam process."

She made her request in such a manner.

With nothing to do, and as I wanted to be out of the house until my father went to bed, I indulged Megumin in her willful request.

Despite her eccentricities, Megumin was really smart.

Actually, I'd go so far as to call her a genius.

And she was beautiful, too.

She was definitely the type that would be regarded as the school idol.

However, based from what little she told me about her personal life, it seemed that she was as much of a loner at school as I had been.

Probably because she was so chuuni.

The money that I would usually spend on my otaku hobbies would now go towards my outings with Megumin, whether it was to pay the hourly fees for the internet café, or to buy her treats.

And instead of grinding at games and watching anime all day, I've been spending much of my time tutoring Megumin, or just hanging out with her.

Slowly, my life began to revolve around this girl.

Sometimes I'd even find myself waiting outside her school, trying my hardest to maintain my composure even as a bunch of middle school girls were giving me weird looks.

The staff even approached me one day, probably to make sure I wasn't some kind of criminal.

Megumin needed to bail me out of that one.

One day, as we were studying, Megumin suddenly said this.

"Hm, Kazuma, how would you define our relationship, exactly?"

Saying such a thing as she kept her head down and flipped through a reference book.

"Asking such a thing out of nowhere…how am I supposed to respond?"

"If Kazuma hesitates in his response, then I will get suspicious?"

"…"

…A fair point.

We've known each other for quite a long time now, usually spending most of the hours of the day together.

Such an inquiry would not be amiss.

An easy question with an easy answer.

However...

I couldn't answer at all.

Apparently, Megumin took my silence as an answer in itself.

She bowed her head, her hair falling down, her unevenly cut fringe falling down over her face.

"Um…if Kazuma wants to…my family expressed their desire to meet you."

Her parents had been asking Megumin about where she was spending her time these days.

It was unusual for her not to head straight home after school, and to spend so much time away from home.

To dispel their suspicions, she mentioned the existence of a friend.

A male friend, to be exact.

Suddenly thrusting an awkward guy like me into a situation like this.

This little girl was too much, really.

However, I couldn't just leave Megumin to deal with her parents by herself.

"I understand," I said.

"Well…please don't feel like you're obligated to do this."

"Hm? Where did this meek Megumin come from? This is pretty refreshing."

"...I'll ignore your teasing for now since Kazuma is doing me a favor."

And so, with that, we made plans for me to meet Megumin's family.

 **Part 5**

"Oh! You must me Kazuma-san! Please, come in!"

Greeting me was a woman who shared an uncanny resemblance to Megumin.

And beside her was a girl, around 4 years old or so, who looked like a miniature Megumin.

"Thanks for having me."

To this family possessing amazing genetics…

Their natural beauty would make one presume they belonged in a movie set, rather than a run-down apartment like this.

Somehow I felt compelled to give a deep bow.

"Oh my! How polite! And it seems that Kazuma-san even brought snacks!"

"Is that for Komekko?!"

Mini-Megumin rushed up and grabbed the box of sponge cakes I bought from the bakery.

Emerging from behind the madam, a somewhat rough looking man approached me.

He held his hand out and I accepted it.

"Thank you for taking care of my daughter," he said.

Saying something like 'taking care'.

I ignored the implications of what he said as I shook his hand.

The introductions were made.

Yuiyui.

Komekko.

Hyoizaburo.

And Megumin.

"…"

This family is full of weirdos.

And the weirdest of them all, still wearing her contact lenses even in her own home…

Megumin was wearing a stained and torn-up apron. She was holding a steaming pot while wearing an oven mitt full of holes.

"Dinner's ready," she said.

She looked at me and smiled.

"I'm glad you could make it, Kazuma."

"Y-Yeah…"

They led me to a kotatsu in the living room.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Kazuma-san, but the heater for that kotatsu is not working…"

The madam said this.

I looked towards the T.V.

The T.V. was fairly modern and expensive looking compared to the rest of the shabby and outdated furniture.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Kazuma-san, but the T.V. is not working. We only use that for aesthetic purposes."

All of a sudden, the foundations of the apartment seemed to shake.

"Is that an earthquake?!"

I ducked under the kotatsu.

I took Komekko with me. She had been indulging in the sponge cakes I brought.

Once the shaking subsided, the madam peeked her head under the kotatsu and said,

"Ah, I'm sorry, Kazuma-san, but this building is fairly old. It does that sometimes."

"…"

How did this atrocity of an apartment bypass the annual inspections?

I crawled out once more with Komekko in my arms. She was still focused intently on the sponge cake despite how I roughly I had pulled her with me.

"Kazuma is playing hide-and-seek with Komekko? How sweet."

Megumin said this as she placed a bowl in front of me.

"We chose to go all out for today's dinner since Kazuma is the guest."

"These are just crayfish, though," I said.

Something that could be bought for cheap at the market.

"Ooh! Are these the lobsters that nee-chan found by the river?!"

Komekko said as she stared at the crayfish while drooling."

No, these tiny things were in no way lobsters.

And forget the market, these things were fished out of the river?

I didn't want to appear rude, however, so I gave it a try after we all said our thanks.

"!"

"So, Kazuma, how is it?" Megumin asked.

"It's good! Even though this is just cheap crayfish that Megumin fished out of the river, it's good!"

"A lot of that was unnecessary, but thank you."

Contrary to my expectations, there was a pleasant atmosphere as we ate.

I answered the questions about how Megumin and I met, and what we usually did when we hung out together.

Once dinner was finished, Megumin asked her parents if she could show me her room.

"Oi…"

I began to complain to the tactless Megumin who asked such a thing from her parents.

"There's no problem," the madam said.

She gave me a wink.

"…Please be mindful that the walls are fairly thin. So we can hear you if you try something..."

The mister bluntly gave me this warning.

"R...Right…"

After receiving this warning, Megumin took me to her room.

I took a look around.

It was surprisingly plain.

There weren't any occult posters on the walls, nor were there plastic models of weapons lying around.

There was no sign of any chuuni whatsoever.

On top of her bed, however, resting peacefully, was a black cat.

"This is my cat, Chomusuke. You may pet her if you want."

Even the cat had a weird name.

I sat on Megumin's bed and picked the cat up and laid her on my lap.

I petted its back.

"Nyyaaaa~"

It purred and stretched.

"How relaxing…"

I said as I felt all my stress melt away.

"Kazuma, Kazuma, look at this."

Megumin opened a notebook and flipped to a page.

Inside, there was a drawing of a busty mage, and I recognized it as Megumin's avatar for that game.

"Ah, speaking of which, although Megumin's avatar is a tall and busty mage, she is actually like this in reality."

"…Since it's been a pleasant evening so far, I will ignore that."

She closed her notebook and placed it firmly on her study desk.

She then sat beside me.

"Oi, even if your parents are nearby, if Megumin does such things, even I will be tempted, you know?"

"How is this tempting for you? I'm just sitting beside you!"

It was tempting to a virgin like me.

It's quite inevitable.

Spending every day with a beautiful girl like Megumin.

She made her way into one of my fantasies at some point.

And I haven't had much time and money to indulge in my 'hobbies'.

So my 'private time' sessions have featured Megumin these days.

Such things were natural.

Not that I expected Megumin to know about such things.

We stayed seated like this for a while.

Megumin coughed several times before speaking.

"Um, well, this is my life…"

She raised a random topic.

Seeing my confusion, she went on to say,

"…I mean, this is practically all I have. My family, my online avatar, Chomusuke…the memories I've had in this apartment, in this room…and everything else you've seen before tonight. This is it. This is all I have."

She tilted her head while giving me an uncertain smile.

"I guess what I'm saying is that I'm not really all that complicated. I'm pretty simple! Um, this stuff…"

She pointed to her lenses.

"…It makes me feel cool, or something, I guess. There's really no evil god trapped inside my eye. I'm sorry for lying to you all this time."

She said that as if I had any reason to believe her delusions.

"I'm just a simple and poor girl. I wish there was more to my character, that I really am an Arch-Wizard who can use explosion magic... But, this is all I really am."

She smiled.

Then she shifted her position, swivelling with her bum as she faced me.

"I showed Kazuma who I am. Naturally, Kazuma should do the same."

Something I could show her…

"If Megumin were to ask me such a thing, what can I really say? I spend all day either playing games or watching anime. I guess that sums up my existence pretty neatly!"

She giggled and I sensed that she was drawing nearer.

"I think Kazuma isn't exactly telling the truth? A NEET who doesn't contribute at all to society is despicable in many ways, but a person is a person, and there's more to people than games and anime."

"No, if you spend every waking hour of the day doing certain things, those things tend to hijack not only your thoughts but your personality, as well."

She swivelled again and turned away from me.

"...That's simply not true at all, Kazuma."

She said this with her back turned to me.

"I don't pretend to know everything about you, and most of what I do know is pretty horrible. Yes, Kazuma is generally a horrible person. And yet...it's also true that there is a part of Kazuma who cares."

Another swivel, and Megumin was once again face to face with me.

"Say, Kazuma. You act like all you do is play video games and watch anime, but doesn't it feel like we spend most of the day together? And even when you do play games, you mostly play that game with me, right? I wonder why?"

She leaned closer.

Naturally, I backed away.

What is this little girl thinking?!

"What you must understand about NEET is that we don't really care about how we spend our time, as long as it doesn't require much effort on our part."

"Oh? And helping me prepare for school entrance exams doesn't require much effort?"

She drew even closer.

Too close!

"Kazuma cares a lot about me?"

Saying such an embarrassing line while keeping a straight face.

This girl was either oblivious, or she was a gold digger in the making.

I placed my hands on her shoulders in an attempt to push her off.

But…

"?!"

I underestimated how small she was.

As she was sent falling back, she reached out and grabbed my collar!

"Hey?!"

I exclaimed as I fell over at the foot of the bed on top of Megumin.

What was with this clichéd development?!

"Mwehumin...hm?!"

T-This was…?!

A soft, elastic, and warm sensation…

This really was a cliche development!

The most cliche one of them all!

I separated my lips from Megumin's.

I couldn't help but notice that a string of drool was connected between our bottom lips.

"...Please don't call the cops on me."

I didn't know what to say and said such words instead.

I expected a violent reaction from Megumin, and to have the mister bust in through the door with a weapon of some sort.

But when I looked down I saw Megumin looking up at me with teary, half-lidded eyes.

Her contacts reflected light and they shone red.

"Hah...hah...Kazuma…"

W-What?

This is…

Isn't this really erotic?!

"Oi, little girl, if you give me those eyes, I'll feel emboldened to do more, you know?"

I said such a thing while preparing to laugh it off.

"...Hah...hah…"

"?!"

Panting heavily, I could feel her hot breath.

I could smell the after dinner mint that Megumin proudly described as stolen property from a local hotel's concierge table.

Eyes closed and lips puckered.

S-She even leaned her head back!

"O-Oi! Little girl! I really will do something, you know?!"

She opened her eyes half way and said,

"It's just...there's no way I want my first kiss to end like that! That was a very poor kiss. I would like a retry, that's all."

She said that with such composure and conviction.

I couldn't help but concede to what seemed to me, at the time, as undeniably infallible logic.

Or more like…

There's no way I can resist!

"Well...I will kiss Megumin, then."

"Please do. Ah, but this time, Kazuma must lick his lips. They are quite dry."

Doing as I'm told, I licked my lips.

"The way Kazuma did that was very creepy. Please don't do it again."

"Stop mocking me! Well, then."

My lips now moistened, I looked down on Megumin.

She closed her eyes and puckered her lips once more.

My mind was a haze.

My rationality had long since been abandoned.

"Mm…"

"Nn…"

Leaning in again and closing my eyes, I kissed Megumin again.

A girl is...very soft.

And they smell so good.

More.

I want to touch her.

Not breaking away from the kiss…

I ran my fingers through her hair with one hand.

With the other I felt the sides of her waist.

"Mmmph!"

I opened my eyes to peek at the Megumin who was making so much noise.

I went too far…

But when I opened my eyes and saw her….Megumin's eyes were still closed.

Her lips still puckered, quivering now as if begging for more.

Is this really happening?

With Megumin?

I was overcome by a mixture of joy, excitement, lust, and a whole host of confusing emotions.

"Nnn…"

Making such cute noises as I kiss her.

God!

I'm so hard right now!

My thing was positioned directly on her thigh when it suddenly ballooned in size.

As I made to shift it away…

"!"

It accidentally rubbed!

It feels...so damn good!

Even though we had fours layers of clothing from making any real physical contact, it felt so damn good!

Megumin!

I'm sorry for being such a pervert!

Taking care not to make it obvious, I started shifting.

Making side-to-side movements with my hips while making sure Megumin didn't notice it.

I distracted her by maintain the kiss, rubbing my lips against hers, the slippery flesh sliding against each other.

I run my hands along her torso and waist. Touching as much as I can of the places that weren't so inappropriate.

But those movements were mere fronts for my secret humping operation.

Rubbing my hard thing against her soft and supple legs.

I could actually feel my 'head' through the cloth, rubbing and digging against her flesh.

Damn!

This is too good!

Hah…

Megumin…

Megumin…!

"Megumin…uwaaaaa! Hnnnnggg!"

"Kazu...eh…?"

Ah…

Oh no.

Shit.

The pleasure was too much and so my son responded appropriately.

...I came.

As I released myself, the head that had been diligently rubbing against Megumin's thighs managed to slip through the hem of my tracksuit pants.

"..."

As a result…

Megumin was lying there, shell shocked.

As she was covered in my cum.

 **Part 6**

"..."

I couldn't tell what expression Megumin had on her face.

It was hard to do so.

Not that I couldn't read facial cues.

It's just that it was hard to do so with my face pressed on the ground.

"I am truly very sorry!"

"...I get it already. Raise your head."

Megumin tossed away the towel she was using to wipe herself after that little accident.

After having done so, she sat on the bed once more.

"Ugh. What have we done?"

She said this as she buried her face in her hands.

"Y-Yeah."

I looked away.

H-How did that happen, exactly?

Kissing...well...we were caught up in the moment.

But how did it escalate to the point where I came all over her?!

"I think that it would be a good idea if we just forget about this, and pretend it didn't happen."

In an attempt to inject some rationality in this confounding situation, I said this.

"No! My pride won't allow it! This moment is a part of who I am now! There's no reason why I should let it go!"

I sighed.

What a stubborn little girl.

I figured that things would get a little awkward between us from then on.

But, our personal affairs settled back into its normal state only after a few days of strained behavior.

In fact…

"Nnn…!"

With her hands roaming all over my back, Megumin and I explored each other's mouths.

Her small and soft and sweet tongue lapping against mine.

Who knew that just kissing would feel so good!

Sometimes we would find ourselves kissing.

Ordering a booth at an internet café, or in my house when my family was out, or in hers when her family was out.

We were both hormonally charged teenagers, after all.

Right now we are in my room.

"Nnh…!"

When I ran my hands along the sides of her torso, my fingers 'accidentally' slid against her breasts...

Megumin reacts to every single thing.

That's what makes it so fun to kiss her.

It never gets old!

She's so soft.

And cute and pretty.

"Nn! Kazuma… Mmm…!"

She's too damn erotic!

Megumin is best girl!

"Eh?! Kazuma?! You're doing this again?! I told you that I'm only fine with kissing, right?! You rapist!"

"D-Don't accuse me of such terrible things! This is just the natural reaction!"

I got hard again.

And as Megumin was straddling my lap and constantly fidgeting around, she had been rubbing on it all this while.

Well, is it so wrong that I neglected to tell her until after she noticed?

"Does Megumin mind allowing me to finish? Please? For guys it is very painful to hold it in."

"Geez! Just do whatever you want!"

Blushing as she shut her eyes tight, I held onto Megumin's hips as I humped her inner thigh!

"Ah...hah...Megumin...this feels insane...hah, this is too erotic! Who knew that just dry-humping would be this erotic!"

"Just shut up and finish! I'll even help you out!"

Growing impatient, Megumin pulled down my pants.

"I-I'll use my hands to…"

"Ah. I'm coming. Hnnng!"

"Eh? Ah…! No…ah?! Again?!"

I watched as streams of my cum landed on Megumin's face and hair.

I-I'm not especially a fan of facial, but seeing Megumin covered in my seed is…

"Well, I hope that with that, Kazuma has settled down...it's up again already!"

Indeed, my son is ready for more.

"T-This is my first time seeing Kazuma's…"

She stared at my son.

I think it was subconscious, but she started licking her lip.

But...

"Pfft!"

"?!"

She made such a sound?!

Was my son really that unimpressive?!

Noticing my distress, Megumin was quick to comfort me.

"Ah, no! I just had a taste of Kazuma's 'juice' when I was licking my lips! That's all!"

"Ah, I see. So Megumin is indeed impressed by my son…"

"No, well, it's normal. Nothing to complain about."

Why was this little girl talking as if she knew what was normal or not?!

I shrunk away into a corner even as Megumin attempted to comfort me.

"You seem genuinely distressed. I feel bad. Um, in order to make it up to Kazuma, then, with my hands…"

"I see. Megumin is willing to go so far for me. Thank you very much!"

"...No hesitation at all, huh?"

Megumin wiped her face with a towel before positioning herself before me.

"Well, then…"

"Yes. I'll be in your care."

"I'm having second doubts but Kazuma is making it very difficult for me to say no."

It took awhile but Megumin finally gathered the courage to touch me.

"Hah! Nn! Megumin's soft girly hands is!"

"Just shut up!"

Megumin leaned over and covered my mouth with her other hand.

"Hmm...hmph…"

Breathing raggedly against Megumin's hand as she looked at me intently and jerked me off.

Her palms were so smooth, soft, and the slight sheen of sweat provided a natural lubricant.

Megumin was starting to breath hard,too.

Her warm and sweet smelling breath washed over my face.

It was probably due to the exertion…

But, just maybe...she was getting excited while jerking me off?

Ah...this is too much.

It feels so different having a girl touch you.

Really!

This loli…

Recently I can't get her out of my mind!

I might really be...with Megumin…!

"Ngh…!"

My hips bucked.

I've never had an orgasm this intense before.

Megumin watched and flinched a little as my cum erupted up in the air.

Splattering and dripping down into her hands...

Gasping now, I drew rapid and shallow breaths as I collapsed back onto Megumin's bed.

She withdrew her hand and wiped it with the towel.

She also took the towel and wiped me dry.

However, the contact only made it…

"It's hard again?! Are you backed up, or something?!"

What did she expect?

We've been making out for a couple weeks now.

Sure, I was relieving myself alone.

But the tension never subsides.

Honestly, at this point, all I wanted to do was push her down and have sex with Megumin.

I want to feel her pussy.

I want to cum inside it.

Make her completely mine!

"..."

I was overcome by such desperate thoughts.

But, I wasn't stupid.

At this point, it's quite obvious that Megumin feels something towards me.

And...the same could be said towards me, too.

But, things like having sex and cumming inside…

Why was I, a NEET with no future prospects, so easily entertaining such things?!

"Hm? Is something on Kazuma's mind?"

Megumin said as she wiped my thing off with the towel.

She was trying to be casual about it, but the way she was grabbing me was in no way restricted to just 'cleaning'.

"...I was thinking that I should have a stable career before cumming inside Megumin…"

"What the hell?!"

Incredulous, Megumin said such a thing.

"Ah. I'm cumming. Nggh!"

"Wah! Wait! You really should give me advanced warning! Noooo!"

 **Part 7**

"How does it look?"

"Very cute. I want to molest Megumin while she's wearing that."

"There are other words you can use aside from 'molest', you know?"

Several months had passed.

During that time, I was helping Megumin study for her entrance exam.

"Hm...I suppose then that I'd have to call Kazuma 'senpai' at school?"

"Sure seems like it."

During that time, though I struggled mightily, I forced myself to come back to school.

It took a while to develop my old study habits.

And it was awkward as hell coming back to school after I've been missing for so long.

But it was ultimately a means to an end.

"Hm...so if Megumin is showing her uniform to me at this time, that means she wants to do all sorts of fun uniform play...huh?"

"Not everything has to relate to lewd stuff, you know?"

Even though she said such tsun lines, she still sat between my legs.

"Uwaa~ the school girl Megumin is presenting herself to me..."

I reached around and started groping her boobs through the top of her navy blue sailor fuku.

Burying my nose deep into her dark hair and sniffing as I molest her.

"Kazuma really is molesting me now... Nnnh!"

I started rubbing her inner thigh as well.

Damn it.

I really want to put my dick in this cute little loli pussy.

Ah.

But at this stage doing such things is still impossible.

Once our future is more certain.

Once I can provide not only for Megumin, but also her poor family.

Then, and only then.

But, for now…

"Megumin, please do that thing with your mouth."

Her eyes widened, but she eventually sighed.

"Normally, Kazuma should reward me for passing the entrance exam, right? But Kazuma is the one being rewarded instead..."

"The hours I spent teaching you is reward enough. Now, this time I'd like to take a picture of the schoolgirl Megumin right at the moment I unload on her pretty face. Oh, and make sure to flash up the 'double v' sign!"

"Damn it! You're especially creepy today!"

Megumin reached inside my tracksuit bottoms and pulled my son out.

"Nee-chan... congratulations on...wait, nii-chan is feeding nee-chan a sausage?"

Suddenly bursting through the door was Komekko.

"Ah! No fair! Komekko is hungry, too!"

"Wait! Komekko, don't!"

"Ah. I'm coming. Nggh!"

"Eh?! What's this white stuff, nii-chan?!"

An eventful IRL life.

Spending everyday making out with a beautiful girl.

"Kazuma…"

This beautiful girl now looked as if she wanted to murder me.

"..."

Can I go back to my peaceful NEET life, now?

…

…

 **A/N: This story was originally written as a Christmas gift for LordVTP who writes an amazing konosuba spinoff fic along with Uranophane. They both did TL work for the konosuba LN fan translations, as well as other various projects. The fic is called 'Archaic Records of a Bastard Goddess!'. The fic tells the story of Princess Iris going on an adventure with her own party, which includes a grown up Komekko. Lord is a great writer and helps me out a lot with my own fic, and Uranophane has a flawless grasp of the LN's original style. They make a great team! If you're interested, check out their stuff!**

 **-BB**


	2. Highschool period

**God's Blessings on this IRL World!**

…

 **Editing and Proofreading: LordVTP and MasterSenpai**

 **...**

 **Chapter 2: Highschool Period**

 **Part 1**

"...And so, with that said, students must keep in mind that you are all representing the school. Even when students are outside of school grounds, I implore you to maintain the dignity that has been the hallmark of this fine institution. Furthermore…"

With the start of the school year came the entrance ceremony.

Which means the student body is subjected to the tediously long speech of the principal.

"...Che! Can this old geezer hurry up already?"

"Oi, Satou! Why don't you sneak out and buy some juice for us, huh?!"

A lot has happened since that fateful day.

I am, of course, referring to the day I met that girl.

For that girl whom I eventually developed deep and passionate feelings for, I even abandoned the comfortable, idle lifestyle of a NEET.

I went to school and became a student once more.

"Eh? Satou, you listening? I told you to buy us juice!"

However, my transition from NEET to normie was not at all smooth going.

Due to my long absence and tendency to keep to myself, I became the target of delinquents.

"Hah?! What's with that glare in your eyes, huh?! You wanna mess with us?!"

"Looking at us like we're trash. Who the hell do you think I am?! It looks like this punk wants a fight!"

No. I'm doing no such thing.

This 'glare' is my natural look.

I am known to have an unfriendly gaze.

Let's not cause a commotion over the unfortunate make up of my face.

"You two! Face the front! No fooling around!"

"S-Sorry sensei!"

"We won't do it again, sensei!"

These tough looking delinquents changed their behaviour quickly after a teacher's reprimands.

Could it be?

Oniz*ka-sensei is here in this school?

That infamous Great Teacher?

No, the teacher who did the berating is the 3rd year math teacher.

A strict but unassuming man.

To clean up their act after the reprimand of a mild-mannered teacher, aren't these delinquents just posers?

"…"

Why did I serve as their errand boy all this time, then?

Even the purchase of juice can accrue in expenses.

I missed out on a lot of hot dates because of these posers.

"Eek!"

"Satou! Keep your hands to yourself!"

The same math teacher reprimanded me after I placed my hand threateningly on the shoulder of one of the fake delinquents.

"…And so, with great diligence… While carrying the torches of the alumni preceding you… Carrying it loftily, displaying your pride of this fine institution for all to see…"

In the background, the monotone voice of the principal drones on.

Studying until my brain hurts.

Getting picked on by delinquents.

Spending most of the day in the company of normies.

I want to hurry up and graduate.

…Finally, the assembly reached an end.

What a miracle.

I joined the exodus of students piling out of the gymnasium entrance.

The first years went first and the third years, in which I am categorized, went last.

We must look after our cute kouhai, after all.

Speaking of cute kouhai…

Amidst the pack of exiting first year students, I looked for a specific girl.

One who is probably wearing an eyepatch and colored lenses despite my pleas for her not to.

The girl who insisted on carrying her eighth grade syndrome past the eighth grade.

Ah. There she is.

Amidst the crowd of still maturing young bodies.

A body that hasn't even started maturing.

…No, as her lover, I shouldn't admit such things so freely.

I'm not a lolicon.

Really, I'm not.

This girl happened to glance at my direction as she passed by.

So as not to attract too much attention, I gave her a nod.

"Alas! My fated lover! This cruel destiny has tried to separate us… The reincarnation of the summer triangle… But, we have finally found one ano… THER?! Wait! Please stop pushing me!"

"You! Little girl! Keep moving! You're blocking the line!"

"L-Little girl...?"

Completely dejected, Megumin allowed herself to be pushed along by the crowd.

And the one who made that reprimand was the same teacher, once more.

Just how sharp are his eyes that he can spot these acts of misconduct so quickly?

As Megumin was getting pushed along by the traffic.

She acted like she usually does even in school.

"…I suppose I can try hard for one more year."

I remember why I'm forcing myself to attend school in the first place.

"Yosh! Let's do this!"

I cheered myself on.

"Quiet down, Satou!"

"…Y-Yes sir…"

 **Part 2**

"…Suddenly declaring such things. Going on about 'lovers'… What will you do if people suspect us?!"

"Hm? What's wrong with that? Doesn't Kazuma want to be popular? You have a cute girl proudly declaring herself as your lover."

What man would want to be called a 'lover' in public by a little girl with such a jailbait body?

More than ostracization, what if I face prison time?

"In any case, even though Kazuma worries about being seen acting like lovers in public…"

"Hm? What's the matter, Megumin?"

"If you're willing to say such things, then why is Kazuma so eagerly groping me while we're still in school grounds right now?!"

We are hidden in some bushes that surround the school courtyard.

After the principal's address and classroom orientations, it is now finally time for the first lunch break of the semester.

I immediately met up with Megumin.

As I was aroused by the sight of Megumin wearing her new school uniform, I couldn't control my urges.

No, even last night, I fondled the school girl Megumin to my heart's content.

I've already spent everything I had in 'the bank', so to speak.

I thought that I would be satisfied for at least a week.

But somehow, my passions were resurrected once I saw Megumin at school.

If it's in the bedroom, it is merely play. But in an actual school grounds…

"It's the real deal! I'm fondling a real school girl! Hah… Hah…"

"Pervert! Degenerate! And furthermore, what a hypocrite! Compared to this, calling you my lover in public is relatively tame, isn't it?!"

"No. At least I have taken countermeasures against being caught. Don't worry, no one will find us here… Well, then, my kouhai… Let senpai give you some tutorage in 'Health Education'."

"This guy really is hope… LESS! Nnn!"

She suddenly cried out once I applied some pressure.

"K-Keep your voice down…! I know that Megumin really loves having her boobs fondled, but you must keep your voice down!"

"What lies are you saying! It's… It's not like I… Ah, nnn! Kazuma, right there, right there!"

This tsundere is quick to drop her act.

It's true what they say after all.

Small breasts are more sensitive.

If I fondle Megumin like this long enough, she could actually climax just from having her breasts massaged.

But I don't want Megumin making a mess of herself right on her first day.

So, very reluctantly, I let Megumin go.

Settling instead for kissing her.

"Mn… Kazuma…"

Once we separated, panting and gasping, Megumin tenderly called out my name.

Too cute!

Having a cute girlfriend is the best!

I can't even imagine a life before I had a girlfriend.

Screw the NEET lifestyle. I love being a successful real-lifer.

…Well, beyond the physical stuff I really am grateful that Megumin came into my life.

Every day I spend with her is some of the most fun I've had in my life.

Even when we're not doing anything special. When we're just studying or playing games…

Days filled with comfort, peace, joy…

Megumin…! I... I…!

"…Sorry, I didn't want Megumin to make a mess, but… Let's make a big mess right now!"

"Wait! Hold on! The look on Kazuma's eyes are very dangerous!"

As I was about to feast on my prey…

Ding, dong!

"…Ah, the break is over."

The school bell rang and interrupted our fun time.

I helped Megumin get up on her feet. She patted her clothes, wiping away some dirt that stuck to the fabric.

"…Sorry, I didn't think about how your uniform would get dirty."

"It's no problem. See, it's mostly clean now."

"But some rich ojou-san's will tease the Megumin who walks into class with a shabby and filthy uniform."

"What kind of shoujo manga is this?! And what ojou-san's are you talking about, it's not like this is some fancy school!"

Our school is not among the famous ones in this area.

I'm sure that a genius like Megumin can pass the examinations of those famous schools. The only thing impeding her is the high tuition of such schools.

"I see. So as this is not a famous school, an event like a rich, foreigner ojou-san showing up is impossible, right? How disappointing."

"Kazuma often calls me mean things like 'delusional chuunibyou', but Kazuma is the one who has all sorts of impossible fantasies!"

Do not begrudge a man for dreaming.

 **Part 3**

"Kazuma, this bento is really delicious. Your mother is a great cook."

"No, this is just bento bought from the convenience store."

"Then please thank the convenience store oba-san for preparing this wonderful bento."

Megumin is still unused to the most common fast food available everywhere. Having been poor for all her life, she will even be impressed by the cheap burger chains I would take her to for our dates.

I tried not to inquire at first as it was a sensitive subject, but eventually I had to ask about her father's occupation. For the family to be in such a dire situation, what could the breadwinner of the house be doing?

And what Megumin answered at the time was,

"He is an inventor."

And she left it at that.

Right now we are in the school courtyard, seated on one of the various benches. This is our routine lately. Eating our lunch while enjoying the fresh air.

And most importantly, avoiding our classmates in the classroom.

During the month of Megumin's attendance in this school, she had initially accumulated a lot of positive attention. Most of them belonging to the males who were attracted to her looks.

Just as quickly, however, it became apparent that this cute girl is also a hardcore chuuni weirdo. This was enough to turn most of her admirers off and for people to ostracize her as they had in her previous middle school.

There is word, though, of a fan-base that persisted in their admiration of Megumin.

But, her number one fan is still Satou Kazuma.

"It seems that Kazuma is doing surprisingly well. I thought that Kazuma who is only knowledgeable in useless otaku trivia and lewd subjects would struggle when it comes to academics."

Megumin said while munching and relishing some convenience store tempura. A streak of oil spilled down the side of her lips and I wiped at it with a napkin.

"I was a pretty good student before I became a NEET, I'll have Megumin know. It took a while to catch up to the curriculum and everything I missed, and to get my study habits to the state it used to be, but I'm slowly getting there."

"Yes, emphasis on 'slowly'. Although I praise Kazuma, you are still barely in the mid-tier!"

Megumin puffed out her chest in pride. Not like she had a chest.

Scoring consistently in the top of her class, Megumin had the right to boast about her grades.

This doesn't make it any less annoying, though.

"…H-Hey!"

I snuck my hand behind Megumin and slowly crept my way into her bum, clasping one cheek. Then I gave it a good grope.

"Nn!"

Even after all this time, she's still so sensitive.

"This will not do. A kouhai should respect her senpai."

"Kazuma is a senpai only in status… Nnn!"

"Hm? If you don't refer to me properly then I won't stop?"

"…I'm sorry Kazuma-senpai."

Looking up at me with teary eyes!

"Ah… I'm sorry perhaps I went too far."

Faced with such an attack, I couldn't help but take a few steps back.

"Lately I can't help but think that Kazuma is developing a bit of a sadistic streak. Aren't you teasing me a bit too much?!"

That has been the case lately.

While having sex is still a bit difficult right now, I have been making Megumin do everything outside of sex.

Making her lick me, having her engage in role play scenarios, doing obscene play in the bath.

And then one time…

"Eep!"

I had gotten adventurous and given Megumin's cute bum a quick slap while she was attending to my son.

The temptation was too strong as Megumin was reverse straddling me while she was licking. Her bare bum stuck out in front of my face.

And after giving in to my temptation, Megumin made a cute 'Eep!' sound.

I'm really not an 'S' or anything, I swear.

But…

"Kaz… Kazuma?! Why are you… Ow! Hey! Eep!"

One slap and another. Soon I had Megumin bent over at my lap. Spanking her as if she was my naughty child!

And so this is why Megumin is calling me a sadist and giving me a glare right now.

But little girl, how am I supposed to take that glare seriously when there's bits of rice stuck to your cheek?

Are you inviting me to lick that rice off?

This girl is too erotic! Even when she's not doing anything particularly lewd, it still turns me on!

Which reminds me...

"Say… Isn't Megumin's next class P.E.?"

"…"

Sensing my lewd intentions, Megumin stayed quiet.

"Say… The honor student Megumin who has top grades will be believed by the teacher if she says 'I'm feeling sick', right? And then the sweaty Megumin who is still wearing her P.E. uniform will go to the nurse's office which is empty around that time. And it just so happens that her senpai is visiting the nurse's office as well! Kekeke…"

I said while automatically cackling.

"…"

She stared at me with blank eyes.

Then, after quickly guzzling down the remaining rice…

Megumin stood from the bench and made to run away!

"[Bind]!"

I took the blazer that I had taken off earlier and wrapped it around the retreating Megumin, holding her in place.

"Why is Kazuma yelling [Bind] as if we are playing that game?! And if Kazuma doesn't want me to rip this expensive blazer, then release me at once!"

"I also know the [Craft] skill IRL. I can easily fix any rips you make on this blazer."

After all, I had a lot of free time as a NEET and spent that free time learning trivial and very situationally relevant skills.

"Geez! I get it! Just release me from [Bind] already and I will help Kazuma have an [Explosion] in the nurse's office!"

"Make sure to work up a sweat while you're running around out there. I want to see the clothes sticking to Megumin's white skin. I want to smell Megumin's feminine odour as well."

"How?! How in the world did Kazuma turn into such an unrepentant pervert?!"

This unintentionally erotic little girl can only have herself to blame.

…

…

A few hours later…

"…Kazuma, are you there?"

"Yo."

While sitting on one of the infirmary beds, I greeted my kouhai who came in through the door.

Timidly walking in after confirming that we were alone in here, Megumin walked over to my bed. She closed the curtains behind her.

"…"

"W-What? Why is Kazuma staring at me with such a blank look?"

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! Where's the bloomers?! And why isn't Megumin sweaty at all? And your hair, it should be done up in a ponytail, a ponytail don't you know?! Geez! This is all wrong, all wrong!"

"What does Kazuma expect?! In what modern institution would you find girls still wearing bloomers?! And as for working up a sweat, there's no way I will actually present myself to Kazuma while covered in sweat and my body odour right?! I took a shower before I came here!"

"Wrong, wrong, wrong! Get out of here! Leave me be! Even though I had my hopes up, Megumin comes in here wearing a lame tracksuit! And isn't that tracksuit way too big for Megumin?! It's two sizes too big! I bet Megumin was hoping that she'd magically grow several inches when she ordered that uniform, right?! Come to think of it, your normal sailor fuku is also a couple inches too big! Were you hoping for some kind of moe effect or something?! With the sleeves too long, holding your fists up while they are hidden in loose, drooping sleeves and saying 'uguuu~! Senpai~!'… Actually, that does sound very cute…"

My passionate tantrum was broken up as I had a bit of a revelation at the end there.

"Well… Well then! I'm sorry to disappoint Kazuma, but this is how it is. I will be returning to my class now if Kazuma is too disappointed to carry on!"

"Hold it. At least attend to my 'son' who had been expecting all sorts of lewd things from her 'mommy'. How do you think I can go back to class like this, with a massive tent in my pants. Oi, you blueballing loli who can't read the mood and wore something like a tasteless tracksuit. Go down on your knees and play with the son you love so much!"

"Who says that I love it that much?! And going on about 'mommy' and 'son'… That's just disgusting! And Kazuma as the 'daddy', can spend some 'one on one' time with his 'son' since it's probably been a while!"

"…"

Indeed. This is true. As I had the opportunity to do this and that with a cute girl like Megumin, what need would I have to resort to some 'alone time'?

"Very well. 'Mommy's' services are no longer needed. 'Daddy' will spend some much needed 'alone time' with his 'son'."

"If daddy… I mean, Kazuma says that, then I will be very insulted?! Very well! I will show you the skills that often make Kazuma squirm in ecstasy and say 'Megumin! Megumin! I can't live without you!' while he's awash in pleasure!"

"That… That only happened once! And seriously, if you're gonna do something then do it quickly! It's not like we'll be alone here forever!"

Ah. I raised a flag.

As soon as I said that, I heard the sound of the door opening.

"Girls… We really shouldn't do this!"

"Come on, Mitsurugi-senpai~ Just a quick one, OK? 'Mommy' will take care of senpai's 'son'!"

"No, it will be my skills that will make Mitsurugi-senpai squirm in ecstasy and say 'Ah! Ah! I can't live without you!' while he's awash in pleasure!"

"Girls… We really can't! What if someone is here?!"

"Then they will get a free show! Now senpai, strip, strip!"

"Ahhh! Nooo! If someone is here, I'm sorry for intruding!"

Suddenly, two girls and one guy showed up and started getting busy in the bed right next to ours.

Some harem protagonist is having fun right next to me while I'm being blue balled over here.

"Wait, why are you girls wearing bloomers underneath your tracksuits?!"

"This kind of play is incomplete without the proper outfit, senpai~!"

Megumin avoided my gaze as I stared intensely at her.

I reached out to the curtain separating our bed to the one with the harem getting busy in it.

"Kazuma, what are you going?"

I opened the curtain a little bit and peeked inside.

"!"

I saw two lithe girls and one good looking riajuu type already undressed. The girls are crowding around the riajuu's son as they serviced it together.

Lucky bastard!

"Oi! Megumin, I can't lose to that guy! You better do well enough to surpass the service of two girls working together!"

"...Kazuma, you're really too much. But since your son seems to be in quite a bit of pain, then I suppose I don't have much of a choice."

Megumin said while she crawled towards my legs, straddling them. Her hands were planted on both sides of my hips as she dropped her weight slightly towards my waist.

She gazed at me with upturned eyes as she worked to get my pants down.

"Damn! This obedient Megumin never fails to turn me on. Here it comes, Megumin. My hard son is eagerly awaiting you!"

"Shh! Doesn't Kazuma realize that our neighbors might hear your unnecessary noise? Actually, nevermind, it seems like their attention is completely occupied."

From next door the girls started moaning as the riajuu serviced them.

"Hurry Megumin~ I can't stand it anymore~"

"I get it, I get. I forget how needy Kazuma is sometimes."

She pulled my pants down to mid-thigh, dragging my underwear along with one impatient pull. My erect son sprung out and twitched once before standing still.

"My big cock is ready for Megumin."

"No, like I said, rather than big it's quite normal. Kazuma has nothing to be ashamed about but stop saying 'big' everytime we do this."

Is this girl trying to make me impotent?

Finally, after having had her fill of wisecracks and smug comments, Megumin brought her mouth closer.

She stuck her tongue out and probed the head of my cock. With every tentative contact from her wet tongue, my shaft would twitch.

A clear bubble of pre-cum emerged out of the tip.

When she is doing this, Megumin will enter a state of immense concentration.

She will focus intently on my cock as she bounces her head in and out, slowly gaining speed.

She was clumsy at first but being the stubborn Megumin, she insisted on having a lot of 'practice' sessions.

I did not hesitate to allow this request.

In no time at all, Megumin because quite skilled with using her mouth. She eventually learned to move her head while synchronously licking around my shaft.

She is now doing just that. She slides her slippery lips along my shaft, making it glossy, all the while she is diligently using her tongue. Using her agile tongue to caress the underside of my shaft.

"Mmn… Nnn… Hnn…"

Gripping the base of my cock with one hand and bobbing her head, all while looking up at me with upturned eyes…!

And then…

"Uck… Urk… Mmm…!"

She starts suckiiiiinng!

Going down on me while somehow licking and sucking at the same time!

Megumin you really are the master of explosions!

At this rate, I'm going to cum.

Normally I cum outside and spray it all over Megumin's face. Ever since the first accidental cumshots I gave her, I developed a bit of an appreciation for facials.

But this time I didn't even have time to pull out. The novelty of doing lewd things in the nurse's office, as well as the noises from our neighbors.

And not to mention Megumin's blowjob skills!

There's too much stimulation!

"I can't… Hnnnnng!"

"Hmm?! Mmnnnn! Nghk! Ghk!"

I emptied my load inside this little girl's warm, soft mouth.

As she was petrified from the sudden ejaculation, Megumin didn't have the time or presence of mind to pull out.

After my climax abated, I slowly pulled out. My cock, still sensitive from the orgasm, kept twitching as I slid against Megumin's tongue, the slippery flesh now slick with my cum.

While gasping for air, Megumin met my gaze. She pointed to her mouth and looked at me questioningly.

"Just… Just swallow it, I guess?"

She closed her eyes tight, closed her mouth, and then gulped. Her throat constricted as she swallowed a mouthful of my seed.

That's way too sexy.

Our neighbors are starting to slow down with their own activities. I looked to the clock hanging above the nurse's desk. It was almost time for the next period to start.

"We should start cleaning up."

"Kazuma actually came inside…"

"Please specify that I came inside your mouth! And don't say that phrase lightly or it will give me a heart attack!"

"...Huh? Doesn't it seem like there's someone next door?"

"!"

We were making too much noise and was noticed by our neighbors.

"..."

"..."

After a silent agreement, we allowed our neighbors to leave first and then Megumin and I left after we were sure the coast was clear.

 **Part 4**

After school, Megumin and I will go on a date.

We will walk together to the internet cafe and play that MMO we had been playing together before we met IRL.

We will find our party waiting for us online. There is Aqua, a delusional girl who claims to be a professional idol, and there's Darkness, who seemed like a well-spoken girl at first, but was quick to show her questionable tendencies.

"Aqua! I need you to heal! Half of my health is gone already!"

"No! Since Kazuma took away all my hard earned S rank gacha summons and sold it for equipment, I won't waste any of my mana on a thief like you!"

"Spending all of the party's funds on useless summons! Don't you realize that any game with 'summons' and 'loot boxes' is targeting idiots like you who get enticed by in game merchandise and cosmetics?! Fooling you with words like 'super rare' and 'alter version' and 'limited edition'!"

"Waaah! Kazuma is a meanie!"

Aqua, our arch-priest, would rather spend her time fooling around with the gacha simulator than doing any real questing. The only 'grind' she tolerates in MMO's is the tedious amounts of effort it takes to pull rare summons in gacha games.

"Kazuma! You are taking way too much damage! As the tank of this team, it means that I am not doing my job properly! Please punish me for my lack of diligence! Kazuma must do what he did last time, spamming gifs of my in-game avatar dying in all sorts of humorous and pathetic ways in the global chat!"

As for our front-line fighter, Darkness, she would rather screw up in many different ways in an attempt to attract my ire. She is a hardcore 'M'. Furthermore, she has no grasp of the basic controls and mechanics of this game and gets by only because she bought various expensive upgrades and OP armor. She is a pay 2 win player.

And then… Lastly…

"...It's time to unleash my explosion!"

There's this girl who only cares about unleashing her favorite spell.

Megumin has already developed a reputation in our server for her overly dedicated roleplaying. There were other players who tried her hardest to make her break character, but failed to do so.

When she's online, Megumin acts flawlessly like that of a 'Crimson Demon', one of the races available in character selection.

Our quests usually end with Megumin casting explosion. The AoE damage is enough to finish off the monsters. It also happens to finish off the rest of the party.

Beside me, Megumin leaned back on her chair. She had a satisfied smile on her face.

"Ahh… Explosion magic is the best!"

I ignore her and watch as the 'You Died' graphic unfolded throughout my screen for what must have been the 1000th time since I started partying with her.

"It seems like my character has levelled up. Oh, and upon completion of the quest, our party has received 300,000 credits."

"That's… That's enough credits to pay for today's daily ultra rare gacha summon!"

This fake idol!

"Get your greedy fingers away from the party's funds! If you spend another credit needlessly, I will do something terrible!"

"Yes! Please do so!"

"I'm not talking to you, Darkness."

I am starting to develop the headache that usually forms when I'm around these people.

"I know! If Kazuma gives me these credits then I will give Kazuma real yen! A NEET like Kazuma probably doesn't make any dough, right? This will be very advantageous towards you! So what do you say!"

Aqua was screaming directly into her mic.

"M-Money? Did she say money?"

Megumin sprung from her chair and grabbed my arm. Her lenses caught some light and reflected a luminous scarlet glow.

This girl who normally subsists on rice gruel sprinkled with some salt got excited about the prospect of making some money.

"...The last time Aqua said that, you sent me a less than the amount of money we agreed on over P*ypal!"

"Uwaa~! Um, I promise to do it properly this time! Really! I know! I'll even give the funds to Kazuma directly! What do you say we meet up IRL?"

An offline meeting? Come to think of it, this party has been together for a while now.

"If you underpay this time, I'm taking it out of your hide!"

"Uwaaa, Kazuma is going to make me pay with my body?'

"I...I am also interested in this...offline meeting."

"My Kazuma is not taking it out of anyone's body, but mine!"

And so with that, we discussed the possibility of an offline meeting.

Seriously, though. If Aqua bails on me again, I will roast her so hard on the game's discord server.

Sometime after our discussion…

"Hm? Hasn't Megumin been quiet all this time?"

"Ahh… Megumin! Hnnng!"

"Uwaa! So much! Kazuma, Kazuma! I did it!"

In the privacy of our booth, I gave an explosion to this arch-wizard who loves it so much.

"K...Kazuma….is Megumin misbehaving over there?!"

No, rather, she is being rather obedient.

"You know, she killed us all again right? Kazuma should punish her!"

As I looked down at said girl doing her best to clean my son up, I got a wicked idea.

"Uwa...Kazuma wha?"

I put this team killing loli over my lap!

"All right, you heard them… The team had voted for justice upon this chuuni!"

I heard notable surprise and comotion from the other two.

"Uwaaa, Kazuma, really...here, now?!"

"What are you doing to that poor girl….t….tell me in detail!"

"Megumin, if you need healing after this just tell me!"

...Why are they not more surprised?

"Oi, little girl, have you been telling them about our 'quality time'?"

Oho….

"A….A little...maybe?"

One jailbait spanking, coming right up!

"Officers of the court, I will now carry out the sentence!"

"Wahhh, wait!"

Not a chance!

"I am now pulling her panties down…."

"Why are you narating?!"

"And giving her cute little butt a grope!"

"Fuwaaaaa!"

"OMG Kazuma...this is so…."

Darkness is huffing very hard now, I can hear her.

" , I'll never forget you, go with god into the new world in peace…"

Aqua, I'm not executing her here!

I raised my hand high-

"I'm raising my hand high!"

"Like I said, why are you narrating this?!"

"AAAAND NOW!"

Megumin is shaking in confusion and embarrassment now.

I gave her butt a little slap.

"Eeep!"

What, did you really expect me to punish her? Still….

Smack smack smack!

I started giving her a play spanking but she reacts like it's for real, kicking and bucking over my lap.

"Eh?!, Ah, Eeep, Eh...Eeeeep!'

"K-Kazuma...I..I'll pay, please, I'll…"

"Kazuma, I hope you are using protection!"

Megumin is really squirming now, her red face of shame at being spanked in front of her friends.

"Ahh….k..Kazuma!"

Ehhh?!

I felt something dampen my leg.

My nose is already telling me it's not pee.

M...Megumin...

"…Eh? Did Megumin just…? Um, Megumin, although I am glad that you share my passions, to steal my gimmick like that is kind of…"

Please don't admit that it's just a gimmick.

"Uwaa. If my fans hear that their idol was part of such a shameful event… I have no part in this!"

A notification sound from my discord app alerted me of Aqua's exit.

And I can still hear Darkness panting.

"Kazuma… You brute… Ahh! Nnnnnh!"

On my lap Megumin is still squirming.

"…"

Didn't something kind of amazing just happen?

 **Part 5**

With that amazing event occurring, it took a while for us to make plans for an offline meeting.

It was quite awkward between all of us for a while, after all.

However, with the unique disposition of this party's members, with Aqua's lack of retention abilities, seemingly forgetting about the event altogether, and with Darkness appreciating the occurrence of such an event, more than anything…

A date was set.

"This is my first offline meet-up, so I am quite nervous."

"Rather than saying it's Kazuma's first offline meet-up, it would be more accurate to say that this is the first time Kazuma had any real friends."

"Isn't it the same for Megumin? You are in no position to judge."

The day after the event, Megumin and I went shopping for new clothes to wear.

Megumin had about two outfits in total, a thick sweater for cold temperatures, and a hoodie shirt for warmer temperatures. She had about one skirt and some socks and stockings, and a pair of dirty sneakers.

My situation was even sadder. Aside from my school uniform, my other clothing was a shabby tracksuit.

"I've saved up funds from my part-time work for situations like this. So, Megumin, please go ahead and choose an outfit to your liking."

"Kazuma says that, but I have no clue when it comes to fashion."

"Fear not, for that is why Komekko came along!"

"…" x 2.

Megumin happened to mention to her family that she is going on a shopping date with me. Komekko insisted in coming along and threw a bit of a tantrum when Megumin initially denied her.

I didn't mind when Komekko came along with us for dates and such. I've began to consider her as a little sister I never had. It can be quite inconvenient when I want to have some 'mature' play with Megumin, but it is not as if Komekko insists on coming along for every date. She is a tactful and good girl, really.

And now she is even proving herself very useful!

"First of all, nee-chan and nii-chan shouldn't be shopping in a generic and dull department store like this."

K-Komekko-chan, the sales lady over there looks like her heart broke in two when you said that.

"Kazuma nii-chan doesn't have a lot of money, Komekko. We will have to make do with this store. Ah, this shirt looks quite nice."

Megumin drew a shirt from a bargain bin. The graphic on it said 'keep it 100' and there is a series of smiley face emojis bordering the phrase.

"That won't do! A boyfriend who can't even buy G*cci and V*rsace for their girlfriends aren't worth keeping! Nee-chan is a 10/10 easily! She can nab a 'playah' or a 'shotcallah' and even a 'sugah daddy' if she wants to! Nii-chan needs to step up his game!"

This young girl is saying a lot of dangerous things!

"…I see that mother is corrupting Komekko again with all these ideas."

So it's the madam's fault?!

In the end, I ended up letting this femme fatale in the making convince me.

I'm not sure about G*cci or V*rsace but we went to one of the higher end stores.

"Try this, and this and this!"

"Please… Please practice some moderation."

"That's what cucks say, nii-chan! Do you want to be cucked?! Look at that guy over there eyeing nee-chan like she's a delicious piece of meat! He's already sizing you up and seeing if he can make a play for her!"

"E-Eh?! I'm not like that at all! I work here! It's my job to observe customers! Furthermore, what you said is terrible! Please take that back!"

The poor guy who was accused of all sorts of terrible things was reduced to tears by this little girl.

And really, what is the madam teaching this girl?!

She will be a dangerous woman when she grows up!

An enemy of men!

Finally, Megumin and I decided on our own outfits.

The price wasn't bad and it was something I could afford. Komekko did a good job considering both quality and price.

She did a good job, really.

"…"

But, somehow I feel like the mental scars and trauma aren't worth it.

 **Part 6**

The day of the offline meeting.

We are dressed in our new outfits. I am wearing a grey casual blazer, a neat white t-shirt, and a simple pair of blue jeans. As for my shoes, I decided to wear my usual pair of sneakers, which I cleaned thoroughly the day before.

As for Megumin, she is wearing a simple but cute black dress, a new pair of black stockings, and we splurged a bit on a pair of high-heels.

"These are very uncomfortable and it's very difficult to walk in."

She is latching on to my arm to balance herself. While we are walking like this, we look like all the other couples walking around during the weekend.

"Megumin looks really cute, though. I'd say some discomfort is worth it."

"Kazuma did buy this for me. I'm very happy. Very well, I'll try to get used to it."

It's really strange.

We've already been dating for a while but Megumin still finds all these new ways to make my heart beat.

Soon we reached the rendezvous spot.

Darkness didn't live too far away but Aqua claims that, as an idol, it is rare for her to stay in one place for too long. It is fortunate that her producer allowed her to have the day off… Or so she claims.

Just in case, I did do some research on any idols with the stage name 'Aqua'. I found a somewhat obscure idol who hasn't yet breached the mainstream audience, but has quite a cult following.

The girl I saw in music videos and photoshoots is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen in my life. One with a heavenly voice. I refuse to believe that face and that voice belongs to the arch-priest who goes on a tirade of profanities during difficult raids.

"By the way, did we ever ask for their real names yet?"

Megumin asked while we waited beside a fountain. We are a bit early so we are patiently waiting.

Since Megumin had let my real name slip on a couple of occasions, the others had gotten to calling me Kazuma. Often going 'Kazuma, Kazuma!' repeatedly when they are trying to get my attention.

And Megumin's handle is the same as her real name in the first place.

"I guess we'll find out soon enough."

"…And we received a picture from Darkness but Aqua said something cryptic like 'I want to see your jaws hit the floor when you see my true self'."

We exchanged pictures beforehand so we could easily identify each other even among a crowd. Darkness was a tall looking foreigner. Honestly, I have to admit that she is very beautiful and her body is to my tastes. A blonde foreigner with the body of a supermodel…!

I only got a glimpse of the picture before Megumin deleted the file from my PC.

And like I said, we didn't receive any pictures from Aqua. Ah, not that I mind if she gives me one or not. I could care less.

We waited about ten more minutes, and around the time when we are supposed to meet…

"…Um… Might you be Kazuma-san?"

I heard a clear, elegant voice beside me. I felt a shiver crawl up my spine.

The accent does not belong to a native Japanese but the pronunciation is perfect.

What threw me off was the quality of authority in that voice. It belongs to someone who is used to being treated with respect and deference.

I turned toward the source of this voice.

"!"

Long blonde hair that is immaculately styled. It contrasted well with her flawless skin. She is looking at me warmly with a pair of startling blue eyes. As for her outfit, it must have been G*cci or V*rsace or something or other, as it's glamor and refined quality was beyond my comprehension.

I've seen her in pictures, but seeing the real thing up close is…!

Actually, why is she so close?

She's too close.

"Ahem. I assume you are Darkness? Nice to finally meet you. Darkness is much more beautiful than I have imagined. Now, with that said, please back off my man."

"O-Oh. Sorry."

Megumin quickly intervened, stepping in between Darkness and I.

"It is nice to finally meet Kazuma and Megumin. And instead of calling me Darkness… Um, my real name is…"

For some reason, she started blushing.

"Actually, nevermind my real name! Just call me Darkness, OK? Darkness is fine!"

"...Right."

It was really inconvenient to keep calling her Darkness, but it seemed too cruel to insist when I see her so embarrassed like this, almost to the point of tears.

"Now that, um… Darkness is here, we just have to wait for Aqua."

"...I've been here this whole time."

"!"

I heard Aqua's familiar voice from the person who had been standing beside me from the start!

No, actually, this person was here before Megumin and I even arrived!

"Aqua… Is that you? Why didn't you say anything? And what's with your get up? How did you expect us to find you when you're dressed like that?!"

Aqua, or this person who claims to have that identity, is wearing a large hoodie with the hood over her face. She is also wearing sunglasses over her eyes.

When I look closer at her, she seems really suspicious.

"Keep your voice down! If you say 'Aqua, Aqua!' one of my five million fans will surely notice me!"

I didn't see anything close to 'five million' in the wiki page I visited.

When I think of an idol with that large amount of following, I think instead of the popular upstart idol, Eris.

"Any… Anyways, may I suggest that we head over to our venue? We seem to be attracting some attention…"

A gathering of two beautiful girls will surely attract some eyes. And the suspicious Aqua will also gather some negative attention.

First in our itenary was lunch at a cafe. It would not do to have our new friends eat at the usual burger joint that Megumin and I frequent.

"I will have a greek salad, please."

"I will have a ceasar salad!"

"...I'll have a bowl of steamed rice with some salt sprinkled on top, please."

After viewing the menu, Megumin balked and decided to order something ridiculous.

"Ahaha! That's funny Megumin! Um, she'll have this meal set please, ah, I'll have the same."

The waitress left after I ordered for Megumin and I.

Megumin was sitting beside me and suddenly pulled on my sleeve. She whispered into my ear.

"Kazuma! That set meal alone costs 1500 yen?! That's ridiculous! Do you know how many canned sardines 1500 yen can buy?!"

"We already talked about this! Let's just have fun today and not worry about expenses! It's a rare chance to enjoy ourselves!"

"...Um, is something wrong? I think I heard the word 'expenses'? Ah, Kazuma and Megumin are both students, right? You must both have a tight budget. Don't worry, I will handle the expenses for today's activities."

Darkness said that even though she must be a student herself.

No, if it's this girl who is wearing such a lavish outfit and talks like a real-deal ojou-sama, isn't it alright to leave the expenses to her?

"Really?! Darkness is paying?! Then I want…! Ah, no… But my producer told me that I'm getting fat and need to watch my weight… Wah…"

Can this strange girl drop the whole 'idol' act already?

After lunch we walked around the town in order to show Darkness and Aqua the local sights.

We also took that time to burn and digest our food.

"That is the internet cafe where Kazuma and I often play. I like this location because the booths offer a lot of privacy, plus the owners are nice and give me a discount."

Rather than saying they are 'nice', the owners are lolicons who have a soft spot for Megumin.

Or should I say hard spot?

"That's… That's the place where Megumin and Kazuma often breed like rabbits in heat, huh?! Huff… Huff…"

"Breed?! It's not like we've gotten that far yet!"

Megumin said while blushing and stomping her feet to the ground.

It doesn't sound very convincing if you react so strongly, Megumin!

"Yet?! So there are definitely plans?! As the eldest one of this group, I advice you two not to be too hasty! Nothing good can come from rushing it!"

"Hm? Isn't it better to just hurry up and get rid of one's virginity? It's better to lose it as soon as you have an opportunity rather than wait until you are past the expiration date."

Aqua said while nodding in agreement to her own words.

"As expected of an idol who sacrificed her body in order to make it in the competitive business."

"This… This idol's body is still very much pure! Please don't assume otherwise!"

"Right, and idols don't pee or sweat, for that matter, right? Don't worry. Aqua doesn't need to keep up any pretenses around me."  
"Kazuma is so meaaaan~!"

"...Um, going back to an earlier point Aqua raised. What is this 'expiration date'? Like is there a specific age, or…?"

"Oh. Darkness is already way past the cut off point. Don't worry about it."

"That… That can't be true?!"

I expected this first meeting to have a bit of awkwardness.

But, whether it's online, adventuring in a fantasy MMO world, or IRL…

We're still the same bunch of stupid idiots.

 **Part 7**

"...Darkness really did pay for everything. Um, how should I say this. Thank you…"

"If Kazuma who is normally so mean and cruel treats me this way, it's kind of…"

"Ah! Sorry, I made it really embarrassing and awkward, right?"

"...No, it's very disappointing. Please go back to your ruthless self!"

Even when I am actively trying to be sincere, this masochist refuses to accept it.

It is now late in the evening. After a day of exploring the city and engaging in all sorts of normie activities, we are now resting in a park.

Darkness and I are sitting on one bench while Aqua and Megumin are sleeping on the other. The two of them are slouched against each other, Megumin's head lying beside Aqua's shoulder, Aqua's head nuzzling on top of Megumin's head.

It made for a good picture and Darkness and I took many photos as soon as they fell asleep.

"How do I say this… Today has been very fun."

Darkness said as she scrolled through her phone, looking at the various pictures we took throughout the day.

"I didn't know that spending the day with friends, just fooling around, can be this fun."

I couldn't help but smile as I said this.

"I think Kazuma already figured this out, but my family is quite well off. I attend a famous girls school and I'm considered as an esteemed senpai of sorts. The kouhai and even my peers will look on at me with respect. While I embrace my status and the responsibilities that come with it… Fooling around with friends who don't care about all those things… This is also nice."

Darkness smiled as well. She then showed me a picture she had taken of Aqua and I competing in a whack-a-mole game at the arcade. I chuckled at the silly faces we were both making.

"You know, this might seem weird to say… But it feels like, with everyone, Kazuma and everyone… It feels like I've known you all my whole life? Even in the game when I saw Kazuma, Aqua and Megumin for the first time, trying to grind against the low-levelled Giant Toad monsters… I had a feeling of, 'I must join them'. It's very strange."

Now that I think about it, even though I had many moments when I wanted nothing more than to ditch these troublesome party members, I never even came close to doing it.

"Darkness, let's get along from now on."

I held my hand out.

"Yes. I'd like that, Kazuma."

She gripped my hand.

Hold on that grip is too tight!

"Gah! Let go! Let go! Darkness's grip strength is too hard!"

"Maybe it's just Kazuma who is weak?! How can Kazuma say that about a dignified lady like me?!"

"Huh? What's going on? Why is Darkness yelling? ...Is Kazuma making a move on her?!"

Our yelling had stirred the beast from her rest.

After a little bit of commotion, it was finally time for us to part ways.

"I had a lot of fun! Let's do this again!"

As it was already nighttime, Aqua had taken her sunglasses off.

While examining her face…

"Hold it! Is Aqua really that idol I saw online?!"

When she's just standing like this with her face exposed, she really did look like that beautiful idol I saw pictures of online!

After looking around to see if we were alone in the park, Aqua lifted the hood off.

"!" x 3.

We all stared in shock.

She wore the hood again and looked at each of us in turn.

"I told you your jaw will drop."

"If… If only Aqua shuts up for more than ten seconds at a time, then she'd be a top-class beauty wouldn't she?!"

"No… Even if you have that kind of beauty, is the idol business so lax that they will accept an unruly person like this into their ranks?!"

"If you're only going to say mean things to me then take it online! That's where all my haters attack me anyways!"

As expected, a fake idol like this has a lot of haters.

Aqua needed to be pulled away by Darkness, as she was threatening to attack me who refused to believe that this rotten girl is really an idol.

"Good night you two! Try not to stay up all night!"

Darkness left us with a wink. All the while, she is easily pulling along the struggling Aqua.

"...Hmm, this was an interesting day."

As we watched their figures fade into the night, Megumin made this dry commentary.

"But it was fun, wasn't it?"

"Yes, that goes without saying."

She smiled and hugged my arm as she had been doing for most of the day.

She still hasn't gotten used to wearing those high heels.

"Do your feet hurt?"

"Yeah, I think I got some blisters along the way. It was not a good idea, wearing high-heels when we walked around for pretty much the whole day."

I felt a bit guilty since I said words like 'I want to see Megumin wearing those'.

"Well then… Hop on."

I lowered myself down and offered my back to Megumin.

"Is Kazuma really fine with this?"

"Yeah, sure, why not."

She gave me her shoes and then climbed on to my back. I carried her shoes with one hand as I lifted her up with ease. Her body is way too light.

"Bakuretsu, bakuretsu~ La~ La~ La~"

Megumin randomly started singing a tune she would sometimes sing over teamspeak. She does this when she is training her explosion skill.

Somehow, I felt compelled to hum along.

"Bakuretsu, bakuretsu~ La~ La~ La~" x 2.

We sung this strange tune all the way into town.

 **Part 8**

Along the way, it started to rain.

"Wah… Kazuma, run faster!"

"I'm trying, I'm trying!"

The buses stop running at this hour. I thought that walking home would be a long journey, but it wouldn't be an impossible one. However, with the torrential rain, I can't even see what's ahead of me.

"The weather report didn't mention any possibility of rain at all! What's with this!"

"Quick, Kazuma, we need to find shelter!"

I headed over to the nearest family restaurant. But when we went inside, the place was already packed from people who had the same idea.

"I'm sorry… We are full capacity over here."

The manager expressed their sincere regret while turning us away.

We tried other places, but it was the same story. Nobody expected a sudden downpour and was not prepared for it.

"I should have listened to my mother. She told me to bring an umbrella just in case. Ugh…"

Megumin lamented as we stood on the street. The rain was still pouring hard. It was one of those torrents when each droplet hits you with a cold sting.

"This is hopeless… We should find a… A hotel or something."

Megumin said quietly, her lips almost grazing against my ear. The rain was so loud that she needed to almost yell directly into my ear.

"To think that we'd encounter such a cliched scenario…! Going to a love hotel because of the rain!"

"Who says that it has to be a love hotel? Look, there's a normal hotel right over there."

"...Oh."

Well, aside from any obvious lewd purposes, a love hotel tends to be cheaper. But if a normal hotel is right there, then there's no point in going out of our way to seek a love hotel.

We made our way to the lobby. It felt like a bit of a shame scraping our wet feet against the shiny floors. It didn't seem like an incredibly expensive hotel, but it wasn't one of those seedy ones without any standards. So I felt a bit self-conscious.

"Welcome. You are here to seek shelter from the rain, yes? If you would like, you can wait in the lobby before booking a room. If the rain subsides then you won't even have to book a room."

The receptionist said those kind words.

"Ah, but it will be bad if you run out of booked rooms while we're waiting."

"In that case, I will reserve a room for you two."

H-How kind!

And now that I take a closer look, this receptionist lady has a great figure doesn't she?!

She has wavy blonde hair and a bust that doesn't resemble the figure of the typical Japanese girl. She is obviously a foreigner.

I looked at her name tag.

"Thank you very much… um, Luna-san."

"You're welcome!"

First Darkness and now I encounter another beautiful foreigner.

"..."

I can sense the intense glare Megumin is shooting me. Thankfully, she was too tired and cold to make a fuss over it.

There were some other people in the lobby waiting for the rain to die out. The hotel staff was even kind enough to give us all a styrofoam cup filled with hot cocoa.

"Uwaa… I haven't had this in a while…"

Megumin thanked the hotel staff profusely before sipping on her drink.

"I remember when Megumin used to order that from the family restaurant all the time. This was around the time we first met."

She peered at me over the foam cup.

"That brings me back. We've come a long way, haven't we, Kazuma?"

"Yeah. Sometimes it feels like a blur."

"Because it's fun. Every day has been fun. In 80 years we'll probably look back at this moment and say the same thing."

"Megumin expects us to be together even when we're 80, huh?"

"Oh? The crimson bonds between us lasts far longer than that. I'm sorry, but I've claimed Kazuma's soul for all of my future lifetimes!"

"That… That actually sounds kind of cool?! Ah, Megumin, watch the cocoa! You almost spilled it on your dress!"

"Gah!"

We waited for an hour or so but the rain did not slow down. Luna-san approached us and asked if we were still interested in the room.

"Ah, now that the payment is settled, here are your keys…"

I thanked her for everything, grabbed the keys, and made to move towards the elevator.

As we walked away, I heard a loud voice.

"Ah! My dear Luna! Moi has anticipated the manifestation of such a storm and hurried to bring you this umbrella. Please stay safe as you go home after your night shift…"

"T-Thank you very much!"

It seems that Luna-san has quite the considerate significant other. I don't know what's up with his manner of speaking, though.

We made our way up the elevators and found our rooms quite easily. I inserted the key into the lock. My heart is beating as I did so.

Now that I think about it, even if it's not a love hotel…

In fact, isn't there more of a mature feel with this? Love hotels are for horny teenagers. Hotels are for… Are for…

Adults!

"Gulp!"

"Hm? Kazuma, what's wrong. You just stopped at the doorway."

"Ah… Nothing…"

Isn't Megumin way too calm about this? But in her perspective, she is thinking that we are already a couple who has done a lot of naughty things. This much shouldn't be a big deal.

...How innocent and ignorant of you, little girl!

She is assuming that my lust is more than abated with her constant caresses and attention.

But there's still 'that', right?

Sex.

Not the clumsy fondlings we indulged in during the beginning of our relationship. Taking each other's first times, seeing Megumin's hymen blood spill all over my penis. M-maybe even cumming in her little loli pussy at long last.

This girl probably has no idea just how much my mind had dwelt on this, how much importance I place on it. Sure, I've come a long way back on the road to social responsibility, but I'm still not able to 'take care' of Megumin, her family, or any other events that could come down the line…..once we cross it.

I'll graduate before long.

I even have a part time job.

….

But I wouldn't have been able to afford this night as it went without Darkness's generosity.

Establishing a household in this country takes a lot of means…

And that...

Is that where I see this going?

"Kazuma, let's go already!"

Yes.

Yes I do.

"Just looking for agents of the organization...heh."

I cover my musings as I cross the threshold.

"While Kazuma does sound cool right now, I would prefer to hear it while sitting on the bed."

This girl!

She really doesn't get it at all!

Complying to her wishes, I stepped into the room. We were soaking wet so we decided to head to the bath first. Normally, as an advocate for equal rights, I will insist to forego the tradition of 'Lady's first'.

But, as I am considering taking this lady's first, I must treat her gently in all manners of things.

While Megumin went to the bath, I sat on the bed. I felt a mix of emotions varying from anxiousness to excitement.

It's not secret. I want to have sex with Megumin. No, beyond that, I want to live the rest of my life with Megumin.

It's so easy to say those things though when you are rooted in the present. The real world doesn't comply with such wishy-washy sentiments.

We ridiculed Darkness for it earlier, but what she was saying was right. There's no need to rush things.

Sure, a lot of kids our age are probably getting it on without any worries. But we don't have to necessarily follow the crowd.

And when it comes down to do it, based on the stories I heard, sex is not quite what we make it to be. It can be clumsy and painful and awkward. If you are unprepared, that is.

In the middle of my musings, Megumin had already finished with her bath. She came out in a towel. Her damp hair was sticking to her skin, which was flushed red all over.

"It's your turn, Kazuma."

I resumed my ruminations in the bath. I was so anxious that I could not clean myself properly and spent most of the time dazing off.

When I got out, Megumin commented,

"Kazuma was there for a long time."

She is sitting on the bed, still wearing nothing but a towel.

"…Why didn't Megumin put on any clothes?"

"Did you forget? Our clothes are still soaking wet. I placed them by the air conditioner to let them dry out."

The room felt a bit warmer than when we entered it. Megumin must have increased the temperature.

"Why is Kazuma standing there? Why don't you sit with me?"

I gulped and then joined Megumin beside the bed.

There was a bit of a silent stretch.

And then...

"Kazuma. Do you want to have sex?"

"?!"

She came right out with it!

Megumin's expression hasn't even changed. She had taken a hand towel and started patting her hair dry when she asked that shocking question.

I couldn't help but back away from this surprisingly aggressive girl.

"Why is Kazuma so disturbed? Surely you must have had such thoughts as soon as we entered this hotel, right? You were even going on about love hotels earlier."

"But… But protection and our future and…!"

"Oh? In terms of protection, they have some courtesy ones over here. Several, actually."

"That's not the point!"

"Then what is Kazuma trying to say? Doesn't Kazuma want this? With… Me?"

Of course I do damn it!

You think I can say no after you come out of the bath looking like that?! While we're in a place like this?!

…..

I looked into Megumin's eyes. She had taken off her contact lenses. Nonetheless, her eyes still seemed to shine brilliantly.

My gaze shifted down to her long, thin neck and then down to the crevice between her breasts.

"Kazuma… If it's you, I'm more than happy to give you my body, if you want it."

She crept closer. Her hand crept to mine and lapped over it. My eyes gravitated to her glossy lips.

"…780 yen."

"Huh?"

"That's about how much I make per hour at my part-time job right now."

"I don't see how this is relevant."

"Wait, listen. Academically, I've done my best to catch up but now I'm only just in the middle of the pack in terms of exam scores. I took some mock entrance exams at a cram school and I failed to meet the cut off point for any of the famous universities exams. Even though Darkness paid for today's expenses, with the purchase of our new clothes and now the fees of this hotel, I don't even have any yen in my name right now. And now that I think about it, Aqua didn't even give me the money she was supposed to pay me yettttt!"

The reason for the offline gathering was for Aqua to give me the money she owes me. But I had forgotten all about it!

"I think I get what Kazuma is saying. You don't want to get me pregnant because for now the future is still uncertain. But, that's what protection is for. If Kazuma wants, we can even take extra precautions."

"Megumin still doesn't get it."

"What is it, Kazuma? I won't understand if you won't tell me anything?"

She leaned towards me, her face only inches away from mine.

"…Everyone knows that…"

"That…?"

"Everyone knows that virgin sex… deflowering… must end with a creampie!"

"Hah?!"

She had been so close but Megumin quickly recoiled from me. She is looking at me now with an expression off equal parts disgust and confusion.

"If I can't creampie inside the virgin pussy of Megumin and make a cherry creampie then it's just a waste, isn't it?! Using a rubber when you're about to pop the cherry of a girl you like, what's the point of that?! And pulling it out at the last second is worse! What a waste! And I heard that it feels 100x better cumming inside a pussy than when you pull out and finish yourself off outside! No! I refuse! I want to see Megumin at the moment when I am about to pierce her hymen and see that play of emotions on her face. And when I break her hymen I want to feel it directly, not through a rubber, understand?! And I also want to see the reaction on Megumin's face when I unload my hot cum inside her for the first time! When she feels my seed filling up her womb and discovering parts of her body that she didn't even know existed! And forget about taking 'extra precautions' or whatever! Megumin means taking The Pill, right?! No! I refuse! I want Megumin to be saying 'Kazuma give me your baby' for her first time, and mean it! Therefore, what I'm saying is that I can't do all those if I am still an insignificant nobody with zero prospects or assets! So if Megumin can please wait until the future is more certain… That's what I'm saying!"

I collapsed on the bed in exhaustion. I panted hard after finishing that long speech.

Did I really mean what I said?

…Well, maybe some of it.

To be honest, I don't even know why I'm so against having sex. To think that it would be Megumin who would be wanting to have sex, and I'm the one blueballing her!

In any case, I think I conveyed the message I wanted to get across.

I value Megumin to this extent that I'm willing to wait.

That's how much I care for her.

After I caught my breath, I felt Megumin join me on the bed. She laid her head against my outstretched arm. She had laid on her side and she's looking up at me with an intense gaze.

I turned my body as well so that we are facing each other.

"If it's Kazuma who has astounding luck and never loses at rock paper scissors, he could even win the lottery once he's old enough to buy a ticket."

She smiled warmly. Placing her hand on my chest, she traced her fingers up and down between my pectorals.

I took my arm that she wasn't using as a pillow and played with her hair.

"Yeah… And when that happens, I will have an explosion for this chuunibyou."

"I see."

She smiled lovingly.

She drew closer. Her eyes slowly closed as she leaned into my mouth.

"Mnn…"

What started as light pecking advanced into a series of deep, searching kisses.

"Hah… Nn.. Hnn…"

I explored Megumin's warm mouth. The inside of her cheeks, her sweet tongue. Each caress elicited a sweet moan from her.

I drew her closer to me. My hands reached down towards her back but soon glided down towards her tight, supple bum. I gave it a good grope, which made Megumin jolt.

"Hmm!"

She moaned into my mouth. I kept at it with my administrations until my groping made her towel come loose. The fabric slid off her shoulder, giving me a peek at the top half of her cleavage and her smooth bare shoulders.

I hooked a finger at the top of the towel and slowly pulled it apart. It came loose, draping over Megumin's torso, but exposed her upper half. Her firm and perky breasts sprung and jiggled once before settling back into its perfect shape.

I gave one breast a grope. I enjoyed the fleshy resistance and elasticity. There is a tingling warmth from her flesh and I can feel the beating of her heart.

I kept groping and kneading her breasts, switching from one to the other. Then I moved onto her pink nipples. Gently fiddling with it with my thumb and pointer finger.

"Nnn! Kazuma… Hnn!"

I'm only playing with her breasts but she reacts so strongly.

"I'll play with Megumin's pussy now."

"Alright… Kazuma, get your penis out as well. Let's do this together."

Following her request, my towel came down. My erect penis popped out. Megumin looked at it for a second before holding onto it with both hands.

I felt her palms gripping my shaft. My nerves were alight with sensation, making me gasp.

As Megumin was working on me, I removed what was left of the towel covering her. She is now nude before me. Her naked body is as beautiful as all the times I've seen it previously.

My fingers easily found her pussy. I rubbed two fingers along the slit.

"Hnnn… Mnn…"

Awash in pleasure, she closed her eyes. We soon found a rhythm in our mutual masturbation. I rubbed along Megumin's slit until it became wet enough that I could slide a finger in. Meanwhile, she used her hands to twist along my shaft, which is already overflowing with pre-cum.

After a while, I slipped in a second finger. I dug through her tight pussy walls, the fleshy middle part of my fingers sliding against her pussy lips while the tips scraped and dug inside her walls. I explored her slippery, corrugated insides. They twitched and collapsed and re-expanded along with my administrations.

"Kazuma… I'm… Hmmmn…!"

I learned my lesson before not to dig faster as Megumin is cumming. Girls are very sensitive, at least, Megumin is. When she is about to cum I found that it's best if I stop my administrations and let her orgasm cum naturally. Doing anymore or digging in faster to try and bring about the orgasm will only cause discomfort, and sometimes even pain.

"Hmmmn… Nnnnn… Hahhnnn!"

Her eyes shot wide and her lips parted. I felt her whole body stiffen, as if all her muscles were locked. Then the convulsions started. The female orgasm is a sight to see. Rather than the release and climax being restricted to the sexual organs, it seems as if one's whole body is receptive to the orgasmic motions.

Even down to the follicles of her lashes, how they quiver. And her jutting, spastic lower lip. Her pupils dilate once in erratic activity before settling into serene contentment and locking into my own gaze.

We wait for the tension to subside. This is the best part, feeling her body melt as she comes down from her climax.

"It's… It's Kazuma's turn now."

"Very well. I will now use [Drain Touch] on Megumin and give her some mana so she can move even after casting [Explosion]."

"Kazuma has developed a bad habit of speaking in game terms IRL."

To hear such a reprimand from a role player like her.

After Megumin regained her strength, I had her go down on all fours on the mattress. Her bum sticking up, I gave it a little slap.

"…Even with last time… Has Kazuma developed some kind of troublesome fetish?"

If I see such a perfect ass, then of course my first instinct is to slap or grope it.

What doesn't she understand about that?

I don't intend to have sex with Megumin at this time.

But there is also the next best thing.

I placed my cock between her thighs. The top half of my shaft made direct contact with her slit.

She then closed her legs, wrapping her thighs around my cock.

"Kazuma's cock is so hot. Really, it's way too hot! It's burning me!"

I am very turned on after all. Just from feeling Megumin's soft thighs and her still wet pussy on my cock is almost enough to make me go overboard.

Holding onto her bum, squeezing it, I start to move.

My hips thrust as I dig into her fit, firm but soft thighs. Her leaking wetness provides the natural lubricant. Her soft mound squishes against me and my cock head digs against her lips, threatening to penetrate inside.

She's looking behind and watching me thrust in and out of her legs.

Wanting to look into her eyes directly as I plow into her thighs, I ask her to flip over.

She's lying on her back now, looking up at me and I'm over her. I lift her legs up, holding them together, and swing them over my shoulder.

Then I continue my pounding. My pre-cum is mixing with her fluids now. I take one hand and play with her breasts while I pound and stare directly into her eyes.

She's feeling it with my shaft scraping against her slit. She's moaning and squirming against me, which causes her thighs to twitch and fidget and create even more friction for my cock.

I want us to cum together but she's still in the beginning stages of building up her orgasm and I'm already pretty close.

While girls don't need extra intervention when they are about to cum, that is not the case for guys.

I began speeding up, really digging in there. My hips smack against her bum, my cock trying to feel as much of her thighs and her slit.

I feel my orgasm build and build. Megumin senses this and urges me on.

"Kazuma… That's right… Cum for me, Kazuma…"

She gives me a gentle smile while reaching out with her hands and holding my face.

A surge of pleasure spikes within my shaft and then it expands out violently into a release.

"Hah… Megumin! Hnnnnng!"

The first initial spurt lasted long in duration and creates a thick trail of semen starting from Megumin's stomach to the crevice between her breasts.

The following spurts where shorter but felt more intense as each came in explosive bursts that made my balls ache with every shot.

"Hah… Ah… Gah…!"

They landed around the first linear shot into splattering pools of clear ejaculate.

Exhaustion overcame me and I had to shift my fall so I wouldn't land smack dab on top of Megumin.

I fell beside her as we both tried to catch our breath.

"Hah… hah… Do you want me to finish you off, Megumin?"

"Hah… Maybe… hah… Maybe later but let's just rest for a bit right now."

We settled into cuddling one another. Our bodies felt sticky and we both smelled of sex.

"Maybe we need another bath."

"…It would be more efficient to take a bath together."

"Why can't Megumin be honest for once. 'Please Kazuma, I want to take a bath with you'. Come on, just say it!"

"Kazuma really doesn't know when to stop with his insensitivity."

After taking a bath, I made the same offer to finish Megumin off or maybe even do some more.

But by then she was already getting droopy eyed.

Our clothes weren't dry yet so we slid under the bed sheets naked.

"Kazuma…"

In the darkness, I can still make out Megumin's beautiful features.

"…Yes?"

"You mentioned something earlier… um…"

She ducked her head and seemed to be hesitating over something.

"I may have said all those things like giving Megumin a baby… Um, but that stuff can wait until the future. Megumin doesn't have to worry about that now."

I assumed that this is what she's worrying about, however…

"...My parents will surely notice that I never came back."

"A-Ah…"

Somehow we forgot all about that.

Even though we didn't go all the way, those parents of Megumin will surely assume all sorts of things.

"...Is it still raining outside, Kazuma?"

"Y-Yeah…"

We can't walk home at this rate.

P-perhaps seeing their reaction will count as a dry run?

How will I be welcomed?

Somewhere between 'congratulations' and 'death threats'...At least where her father is concerned. My own parents expected far worse of me before, so I don't expect anything more than a raised eyebrow or two.

Though, It's probably about time I stopped being oblique and introduce Megumin to them properly anyhow.

My brother just assumes I'm making up the whole 'girlfriend' thing anyway!

And so, Megumin and I kept each other up the whole night.

No, we weren't doing anything naughty.

We couldn't sleep as we panicked over the disaster awaiting us tomorrow.

...

...

 **a/n: Just giving a little shout out to my proofreaders for this chapter, LordVTP and MasterSenpai. Check out their works on this website: _Archaic Records of this Bastard Goddess_ written by LordVTP and Uranophane and _Konosuba: A Rogue's Misadventures_ by MasterSenpai.**

 **-BB**


	3. GraduationExamination period

**God's Blessings on this IRL World!**

 **Editing and Proofreading: LordVTP**

 **...**

 **Chapter 3: Graduation/Examination Period**

 **Part 1**

"..." x 2.

Our walk of shame began in silence.

After signing out of the hotel, we feared for the reactions of our families after we failed to come home last night.

Specifically, Megumin's family who is aware of our relationship will surely have a strong reaction.

I can just imagine the knowing face of the madam as she opens the door to us, as well as the hostile reaction of the mister...

"Alright. Megumin can walk home from here, right? Let us part ways."

"Is Kazuma really ditching me at such an important time? Ah, that's right. This is the same Kazuma who couldn't do the deed even when I was throwing myself at him."

"Even though this loli acted so dere last night and said such embarrassing lines, Megumin is willing to call me out only now? You can't fool me!"

"Was what I said untrue in any way? Isn't it true that Kazuma really did pull out even he was given consent to go further?"

It's true, it's true, but why is Megumin bringing this up only now?

If she had insisted more than she had last night, I would have let down my feeble defenses and gone ahead with it anyway.

"Nonetheless, this is quite the predicament. Well, perhaps it might not be so bad. My mother will definitely tease me and I'm sure my father will have quite a fit. But in any case, it is Kazuma who will end up as the scapegoat."

"You're already planning to put all the blame on me, huh? I appreciate your honesty, at least…"

"Perhaps I can even assure them that nothing happened as Kazuma pulled out at the last minute."

"You're too honest."

We argued about the matter until we finally arrived at Megumin's apartment.

After climbing up the dilapidated, unstable stairs to the second floor, we found ourselves outside Megumin's apartment room.

Megumin hesitated a little before finally gathering the resolve to knock.

However…

"Ah, welcome home. You two are just in time for breakfast. I went all out and even included miso soup in the usual canned sardines on rice meal. I hope that it will be delicious. So, when can I expect the baby?"

As if sensing our presence from the other side of the door, the madam opened it before Megumin could even knock.

"Mother is speaking nonsense. What is this about a baby? For your information, nothing happened last night. It was raining quite hard, so Kazuma and I were forced to stay at a hotel, but nothing of the sort that mother is expecting happened."

"I see. So Kazuma-san pulled out at the last minute, it seems."

"Yes, that is exactly what happened. As astute as always, mother. Ah, and the miso soup smells nice. I will be making my way in, now."

The madam giggled then moved aside as Megumin entered.

This mother/daughter combo did well in shattering my ego.

"Where is that boy?! Doing something like that before they even got married is…! As a father it is my duty to face him in a man-to-man in a confrontation! Let me at 'im!"

From inside, I could hear the mister making a racket.

"Oh, my. Hubby seems to be in quite a fit. Well, Kazuma-san, I'd invite you in for breakfast but I am afraid that Kazuma-san's life will be in danger as soon as he steps inside."

Taking the madam's advice to heart, I made my way out before the mister did something drastic.

"If he wants to do those things… Then put a ring on her first!"

Now I really need to get out before the mister does something crazy!

 **Part 2**

"Hey, nii-san, what were you doing last night? Nii-san never came back."

When I got home, my little brother greeted me, asking me this question as I took off my shoes.

"Showing such concern for your older brother. That would have made me happy if you were born a girl."

"You're disgusting, nii-san."

"And as for your question, I spent the night with my girlfriend."

"Liar. Stop it with the imaginary girlfriend already. I know better. Nii-san was probably playing in an internet cafe and decided to spend the night there once it started raining."

"That seems like a reasonable scenario, but I'm telling the truth. I spent the night with my girlfriend in a hotel."

"Stop lying already!"

What was so hard to believe about what I just said?

This little brother who couldn't accept the fact that I had a girlfriend gave me a look of contempt as he withdrew. I followed him into the living room, where he was apparently lazing around in before he got up to greet me.

To this little brother who was laying down on the couch and watching TV, I said,

"Shouldn't you be doing something more productive right about now? Young people shouldn't spend their time idling away."

"I don't want to hear that from nii-san of all people. Why is nii-san acting so arrogantly despite having been a NEET all those years? And besides, its the weekend. I'm allowed to slack off."

"Students should always be studying. Mother should have signed you up in a cram school. In fact, I will suggest she does just that when she gets home."

"Nii-san should apply those high standards to himself, and not his 7 year old brother. Now, go upstairs and play games and let me enjoy my weekend in peace."

After replying with cold hostility, this little brother of mine who was so fun to tease abruptly dismissed my company.

Satou Kazuto, 7 years old-this little brother of mine is, quite frankly, a precocious brat.

He acts, speaks and expects to be regarded as an adult even if he's just a snot-nosed brat. He is surely picked on by the other kids at school.

As requested, I left him alone and headed upstairs to my room. The room that was filthy and had strange lingering odours during my NEET years is now regularly cleaned and organized.

It's amazing what having a girlfriend can do to a NEET who normally doesn't care about appearances and the opinion of others.

Normally, I would spend the weekends much in the same way as Kazuto is right now. However, compared to a grade schooler like him who can afford to slack off, I am a high school senior preparing for entrance examinations.

My spare time that is not allocated towards dates with Megumin goes to reviewing the material I missed in previous curriculums, and catching up with current lessons.

However, after several hours of studying, my head started to hurt.

By the time I decided to call it quits for the day, my mother had already arrived.

With the help of Kazuto, she is carrying a bag of groceries to the kitchen.

"Ah, Kazuma. We were quite worried for you last night. It was a good decision to stay overnight in the internet cafe. That was quite a storm that hit us last night."

My mother said while coming to the same conclusion as Kazuto.

"Actually, I had someone to accompany me last night."

"Kazuma is referring to the late-shift staff, right? Ah, that gives me an idea. Perhaps Kazuma should apply for late-shift work…"

I am already going to school and I have a part-time job after school. Does my mother intend for me to study and work all day and night?

"Actually, I went to a hotel with someone last night…"

"Don't lie, Kazuma."

I wasn't even given a chance to finish my sentence.

Perhaps it is time I introduce my girlfriend to my family.

I am not doing this to show off. I just think that it is the perfect time to tell them.

With this resolution, I said,

"...Mother, Kazuto. I have to tell you something. The truth is, for the last year or so, I have been dating someone…"

"Yes, I know. I gave her a wash every week until you finally threw that thing out a while ago."

"No, not that, mother. I am not referring to the limited edition mahou shoujo body pillow I purchased during my NEET years…! In any case, that's not the point. I really do have a real, flesh and blood girlfriend…"

They both regarded me with blank faces.

"Kazuma, if you confess now, the police might let you off with only a couple of years in jail. This is your first offense, after all. And where are you hiding her? I have noticed that there are strange smells in your room these days."

"My brother is a criminal. I've always somewhat known but this is… Urp!"

His face turning green, the suddenly nauseous Kazuto dry-heaved in front of me.

What mother is saying is quite concerning but isn't your reaction kind of too strong, Kazuto?

It took a lot of time to have them dispel their prejudice, but I eventually convinced them that, yes, even someone like me can get a girlfriend without breaking the law.

Although it took me having to show them pictures of Megumin and I in very obvious couple-like poses to have them actually believe me.

"This girl is…! She's actually really pretty?! For Kazuma to get a girl like this is… Ah, I bet she has a couple screws loose in her head. That's the only explanation."

I wanted to defend the Megumin that my mother is bad mouthing, but I can't say anything if she is only telling the truth.

"W-What a pretty nee-san… Wahh… I still don't believe it! There's no way that nii-san can get a girl like this without using some kind of despicable means! If nii-san is really forcing this nee-san to do all sorts of t-things then I will have to intervene!"

This little brother of mine is uncharacteristically passionate about this matter. And why is he looking at the picture of Megumin so intently while blushing like that?

"I'm home…"

Just as I was being accused of horrible things, my father's voice could be heard from the front door.

"Husband… You won't believe this… Our Kazuma actually has a girlfriend…"

"...I thought he already threw that pillow thing out? Oh, he bought another one, huh?"

It took an equally long time to convince my father. After scrolling through the pictures, he looked up from the screen and said,

"...I'm impressed. Kazuma has a natural ability with editing software."

Is it really so damn hard to believe?

I snatched the phone away and glared at my doubters. And I was also afraid that he'd scroll through to the more private parts of my gallery…

No, if I show them, they will see that I'm telling the truth.

Just as I was heading down a dangerous line of thinking, mother looked like she had been in deep thought and said,

"If this is really true then shouldn't we hurry and introduce ourselves to this girlfriend-san's family? It would be terribly rude to delay a meeting now that we know… And we really should apologize for any grievances Kazuma might have caused."

"I really hate how my own family has such a bad opinion of me. Very well. Once you see how my girlfriend's family treat me as one of their own, you will all be ashamed at the way you've treated me thus far…"

But even if they beg for my forgiveness, I won't easily forgive them for all those things they said about me. Even going so far as to imply that I'm a criminal…!

Oh, yeah. And they said some stuff about Megumin, too.

"By the way, what is the name of this girlfriend-san?"

"..."

"W-Why is Kazuma not answering?"

So far they had been gushing about the beauty of Megumin.

After all, if Megumin just stands there and doesn't spout any chuuni things, she will give people the impression that she is an unattainable beauty...

And so, to preserve this fantastical impression for at least a bit longer, I chose not to reveal the weird name of Megumin just yet.

 **Part 3**

"So, it comes to this. It was quite unavoidable, really. In fact, I'm surprised that Kazuma has gone this far without letting his family know."

Megumin said as she flipped a page on her reference book. Studying diligently as always, what an exemplary honor student.

Of course, you know what they say about the diligent types…

"I haven't exactly been prudent in hiding it, too. Damn them! Is it really so hard to believe?!"

"I'm the one dating Kazuma, and it's hard for even me to believe that Kazuma is dating someone, as well."

"...That doesn't make any sense. If Megumin is going to insult me, at least try to make it coherent."

Megumin is sitting by the tables reserved for customers who preferred to eat their purchased foods in-store. She is close enough to the cashier area that we can naturally talk to each other even when I'm working.

During the days I had work, we couldn't go on dates, but Megumin would loiter around at the F*mily M*rt I worked in.

Thankfully, my boss doesn't seem to mind. He would even buy treats for Megumin whenever she came.

Or, it could be that my boss is just a lolicon.

"Yummy! This ice cream is quite yummy!"

"Ehehe! Have some more of this, Komekko-chan! Don't worry, I'm paying out of my own pocket!"

Yes, he's just a lolicon.

Komekko who was accustomed to spending a lot of time with her nee-chan after school, began insisting that she come along for some of our dates. Of course, I didn't have it in me to deny her request.

Thankfully, it seems that Komekko is quite tactful for her young age. She will only come along during the 'work dates' and has the sense to obediently stay home with the madam when I have the day off.

It's somewhat embarrassing that my motives can be read so easily by a young child.

"Thank you for your patronage! Please come again!"

I recited the standard script to a customer who had just paid for a bento box meal. While I am working hard, my boss is busy pampering Komekko.

"When is Kazuma getting off work? We need to discuss our strategy for when our two families will meet."

Megumin said after I dealt with the small line of customers that formed.

"I got a few more hours to go after this."

"Kazuma will normally work four hour shifts… Normally you will get off in half an hour."

"That is normally true, but since Aqua didn't give me the money she owed when we had our get-together, and I spent all of the money I had saved up for the hotel stay and everything else we did to prep for that day, I need to extend my work time! This is the harsh realities adults face, little girl! Students shouldn't concern themselves with such things! Just keep studying! It is the job of students to study!"

"...Kazuma is also a student. In fact, you need to study more than I do."

Megumin muttered this but I ignored it and went on to say,

"And besides… I'd rather have Megumin study rather than spend her afternoons working… Unlike me, Megumin is a genius who has the potential to do many great things…"

"Kazuma…"

To Megumin who is now looking at me with teary eyed admiration, I continued on to say…

"So go ahead and become an elite in the workforce so I can enjoy a stress-free 'career' as a stay-at-home dad."

"That's an odd way to say 'NEET'. Very well. I somewhat knew what I was getting into when I started dating Kazuma. I will be the breadwinner and support my deadbeat husband. It is a family tradition of sorts, I suppose."

I don't know who got the worst of that insult, me or Megumin's father.

After a few more hours, I finished my six hour shift. I headed out with Megumin and Komekko.

"Urp! The store owner is very nice! He even allowed me to taste a little bit of the 3000 yen luxury pudding that Komekko saw on TV once! He said it was OK if Komekko only had a little bit and if she places the pudding back where she found it!"

Is this business going to be alright?

And I thought the owner was paying for everything out of his own pocket, so what's with this 'take a bit then put it back' that Komekko is talking about?

I'd rather not end up in the newspaper for malpractice because of that lolicon.

"Nii-chan! Let's go to that family restaurant! It's already dinner time!"

Komekko who had already eaten food that cost the store owner his entire day's pay said this to me.

And that's discounting the 3000 yen pudding she had a 'sample' of.

I wouldn't normally hesitate to spoil my cute little sister, but my funds are pretty much empty. When I explained this to Komekko, however, she didn't raise much of a fuss.

"Don't worry, nii-chan! I will rely on the store owner-san from now on, then!"

You shouldn't allow one day of a strange uncle spoiling you to override one year of brother-sister kinship, Komekko…!

"I still have some allowance money saved up. This should be enough for a dinner at that family restaurant."

Megumin said while digging through her backpack and taking out a fistful of some cash.

The awkward way she is holding that… It's obvious that she's not used to handling money.

"I'm surprised that Megumin has an allowance, seeing her family's situation."

"My parents have been saving this up since I was Komekko's age."

"Allowance my ass?! Isn't that an inheritance?! In some families this kind of money is reserved for college tuition fees, right?! But you're saying this is just enough for a meal of three?!"

"Don't freak out so much. Kazuma can easily replace the money, if he wants. I am quite hungry too and I don't think the meal of lightly salted soybeans and rice waiting for us at home is going to satisfy me."

"We could catch lobsters on the way home, nee-chan!"

After Komekko offered this sad alternative, I had no choice but to let Megumin spend, what is essentially, her dowry.

In the family restaurant, once we were seated, Megumin started off our strategy meeting.

"Since Kazuma is already familiar with my family, Kazuma should start with telling me about his."

Without even giving me a minute to enjoy the curry set I ordered, Megumin started off with a hard question.

"Kazuma doesn't have to answer, of course, but I think that I, as Kazuma's lover, deserves at least a little bit of insight into your family life. After all… I already showed you everything about mine."

I couldn't refute Megumin's words. She really did show everything to me.

Her poor family… The poorly built apartment they lived in… Her pitiful lifestyle and diet of bean sprouts, rice and crawfish illegally harvested from the river…

...Actually, I wish Megumin would have been more selective in what she showed me.

"...Things had been awkward between my parents and I during the time I was a NEET. I had a feeling that my father who had high expectations of the me who had good grades in middle school, was really disappointed at what I've become."

I even went so far as to bum around outside during the time when my father normally comes home, so as to avoid lectures from him. I will come back only when I am certain he has fallen asleep.

"I guess I am quite close with my little brother. His name is Kazuto. Even when I was a NEET he would treat me as he usually would. Though, that means disrespecting me, the elder brother, with his constant teasing and rebukes-that little, insolent…!"

"I can't tell if you get along with this brother, or not."

Megumin said as I gritted my teeth while thinking about my jerk of a little brother.

"The awkwardness went away a little bit once I started going to school again. It's not like I was especially close with my parents before I became a NEET, anyways. For example, they got quite mad for some reason when I asked them to divorce and marry other people so I could have some non-blood related sisters to play with. They beat me up after that for some reason. I don't know why."

"I think I know why."

Megumin said while glaring at me. She is giving me a hostile look even though I was willing to expose my vulnerable sides.

"That was delicious! For dessert, I would like to have this parfait, nii-chan…"

And mini-Megumin over here isn't even listening and cares only about the food.

In the end, we never came up with any strategies and decided to wing it.

 **Part 4**

The day of the meeting between our two families-

I wore the outfit I purchased for our outing with Darkness and Aqua. It was a costly purchase, so I plan to wear the outfit on every opportunity.

I am now waiting in the living room with my parents. The plan was to have dinner at my house. I felt that it was best to host this occasion in my house.

For one thing, my house actually qualifies as, well, as a house. Megumin's place is more like a 'shack'.

"Uwaa… I'm quite nervous. I ordered some catering but will it be enough? Do you think they will take offense that the meal isn't home cooked and I chose to order catering instead?"

For that family who considers stall-served ramen as a luxurious meal, you shouldn't worry about the quality of food, mother.

"Uwaa... Is this Sake suitable for this occasion? Or should I have gone for wine? I hope they won't be too insulted with my choice of liquor…"

For the mister who once attempted, and utterly failed, to brew his own beer, which turned out spicy for some reason, any kind of alcohol will do nicely, father.

"Uwaa… Will Megumin nee-chan like this three-piece suit I'm wearing? Or should I have gone for something more casual? I hope she won't think I look weird…"

If you even dare think of hitting on my girlfriend, I will kill you, brother.

And why does a kid your age own a three-piece suit?

We only waited for a little bit longer until the doorbell finally rang.

"They're here! Husband, hurry and open the door!"

"I'm already on it!"

They rushed to the door and quickly opened it.

"Good… Good evening! Welcome to our lovely, I mean, humble, I mean, hopefully adequate home!"

"A-A-Ah! I-I assume this beautiful looking madam is Kazuma's mother! I am Megumin! Um… That is to say, Good evening, my name is Megumin… Nice to meet you…"

Influenced by my parents, Megumin is now shaking as she stood by the doorstep.

"B-Beautiful! No matter how many times you look at her, this girl is a real beauty! If my son is forcing you into doing this, please hurry up and tell your dear uncle!"

For someone who is already expressing so much doubt, father, why are you already referring to yourself as 'dear uncle'?

"Oh, my. It is nice to finally meet all of you. I am Megumin's mother, Yuiyui. Please disregard the honorifics and call me Yuiyui…"

"Y-Yuiyui? Is that a nickname of some sort? Haha… And 'Megumin' is a nickname, too?"

"M-Mother, instead of making them wait outside, why don't you let them in?!"

I said in an attempt to stall any discussion about the weird names of Megumin and her family.

"Ah?! How rude of me! P-Pwease come in!"

Stuttering and even saying 'pwease'... There is no reason why an old lady should be acting all moe. Rather, has my mother always possessed these clumsy traits?

While my mother laughed awkwardly, she let the guests in. Without any delays, she led them into the dining room.

"Oh, my! Those are quite the elegant clothes that, um, Yuiyui-san is wearing!"

"Like I said, just call me Yuiyui, please. And these clothes are quite old. They are nothing special."

"That's not true at all! Those clothes are quite unique. I haven't seen a dress like that before…"

That's because that isn't a dress, mother. It is a curtain that the madam tailored into one. Admittedly, it is a very high quality and tasteful curtain, but that's beside the point.

Furthermore, this exquisite curtain is stolen property. It once hung proudly on the balcony windows of the landlord.

"Nii-chan's mama, where's the food? I'm quite hungry."

Komekko emerged from behind her sister and demanded food from my mother.

"Please forgive this little one's rudeness."

"Ouch! Nee-chan what was that for?!"

Seeing Megumin rebuke Komekko, my mother said,

"Ah! There's no need for that! Please, come to the dining room and we will all formally introduce each other!"

It finally came to this.

"I am Megumin! Number One ranked Arch-Wizard in the MMO player rankings! Blah, blah, blah…!"

"I am Komekko! The Number One Femme Fatale Little Sister! Blah, blah…"

"I am Yuiyui. Number One…"

"Ah. I am Hyoi…"

Let's skim through that.

They finally introduced themselves in that eccentric manner. My family looked at me as if asking whether they were being pranked.

If only that were the case.

"Um, then, I-I am Reiko. Number… One? Um, well realistically I'd rank myself generously as a top ten real estate agent in this area, but I wouldn't go so far as 'Number One', hehe… Blah, Blah…"

"I am Kazuya. Number One… Well, I really am the only project manager for the ****** company, so I guess instead of 'Number One', I'm the 'Only One', hehe… Blah, Blah…"

"I am Kazuto! Number One admirer of the lovely and beautiful Megumin nee-sama! Blah, blah, blah…"

"...Yes, I am Kazuma."

For some reason, my family decided to copy this strange manner of introduction. Of course, I stuck to my own.

And Kazuto, you're really starting to piss me off. Who knew that my little brother is such a f**k boi.

We are now seated around the dinner table. In front of us is a catered feast that features many familiar dishes that every Japanese household should be accustomed to eating.

In fact, these dishes invoke a feeling of 'It's good, but I want to try something different'.

Everyday dishes such as tonkatsu, chicken karaage, prawn and cucumber tempura, pickled veggies (daikon, carrots), grilled mackerel fillet with the bones extracted, a mild fish broth, probably made from those bones. The meal is finished off with rice and miso soup.

These dishes don't share the distinctive qualities of catered food, which brings to mind junk food dishes that appear sloppy and 'mass-produced'.

It's as if there is a catering service out there that specializes in fooling guests into thinking that the host had prepared these homemade dishes themselves. Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho-Ho. Delightfully devilish, mother.

"Amazing! This is like the feast that mother tells me to look forward to if I somehow go to heaven at a young age! Thank you for the meal!"

After saying something that is a bit disturbing, Komekko immediately dug in.

"...We don't deserve this kind gesture, madam."

"Eh?! Um, Hyoi… Hyoizaburo-san, right? Why are you bowing your head? Please raise your head! It's just catering, OK?! I admit that I can't cook so I ordered catering, OK?!"

Mother couldn't help but already blow her secret as her overwhelmed guests took turns bowing to her as if she was some kind of god.

Some time later, after the meal-

"That was really quite the splendid meal."

"No, really. It's nothing special. Nothing special at all… So just stop mentioning it already…"

Already looking exhausted, my mother sighed wearily as she put the dishes away.

The catering included cake for dessert, but it seems like mother is holding off on serving it in fear of another onslaught of overblown praise.

Instead she is serving tea as we moved to the living room.

Megumin's family is seated on the couch while the rest of us sat on the various accent chairs around the oval, glass coffee table the seats are centered on.

"Wahh! Nooo! I want to stay with Megumin nee-sama~! Please, let me stay~!"

"Come on, Kazuto-kun! Let's play, let's play!"

As if sensing that the adults were about to discuss something serious, Komekko dragged off her new playmate, Kazuto, upstairs.

A serious discussion… Certainly, there seems to be that kind of air right now.

I don't really know much about it, but from the minimal amount of rom-com TV dramas I've seen as well as manga and LN where relationships are involved, there will always be a tense confrontation between the two families of the romantically entangled hero and heroine.

You could say this kind of flag is inevitable.

"Our son doesn't deserve your daughter. He is truly scum of the scummiest order. Please, consider and accept the terms to this arranged marriage…!"

But contrary to my expectations, my mother suddenly said this.

Furthermore, a dangerous looking document was pulled out…!

"!" x 2.

Before Megumin and I could respond to this ridiculous document, however, the madam was quick to take action.

"Oh, my… Isn't this a bit too sudden? Really, how unexpected! Surely, this is a bit too much? So, I sign here? Ah, my pen is dry. Please lend me another one."

"Here! My finest pen! Please sign here and here! You can make up the terms of the alimony yourself! All of our assets are yours if our scumbag son screws up or commits adultery, or something! We apologize in advance!"

What do you mean you apologize in advance? And for a real estate agent, you're making quite the one-sided deal here, mother…!

"Hold on, please wait. Aren't you going too fast? Don't Kazuma and I have any say in this? Something like marriage is… In truth, I think that a shotgun marriage due to unforeseen circumstances is much more cool and fitting than a pre-planned and meditated marriage. So I will have to stop you there, auntie."

"Megumin, you are taking exception at all the wrong things. As usual, there's something wrong with your head. And why are you calling my mother, 'auntie'?!"

I retorted to the Megumin who is blushing and getting excited for some reason.

"Uwa! I'm so proud! To think that the useless NEET who's only emotional connection to this world is with fictional characters and online 'friends' actually got himself a girlfriend! Wahh! Your dear uncle is really thankful for you, Megu-chan! Thank you for dragging my ingrate, leech son back into society!"

"I don't care if you're my father, there's a limit to what you can say to a person right to their face! Why don't we settle this son/father tension that has been brewing all these years and take this outside!"

I yelled to the father who is only saying the truth, but in a very annoying manner.

"Like I said, this marriage is a bit… Wait, its says here in the document that my college tuition will be paid for?! I don't have to attend that shady 'Beauty School' that only seems appealing because of its low tuition fees?! Auntie, dear uncle. Thank you for accepting me into the family!"

"Welcome home, Megu-chan~!" x 2.

"Oh, my… Hubby… I'm so proud of our eldest daughter."

"Yes, darling. This is truly a remarkable occasion…"

"Ah! I… I just remembered! The catering came with some cake! H-How could I forget! Let's celebrate with some cake!"

So the cake comes out, after all.

"CAKE?! Komekko wants cake very much!"

"Marriage?! I refuse! If Megumin onee-sama waits until I'm adult, I promise to take care of you more than nii-san will! Wahhhh! Nee-chan please save yourself for meeee!"

At the mention of cake, Komekko, who was supposed to have come upstairs to play, emerged out of her hiding place with Kazuto in tow.

Snooping around like that, this little girl is even more mischievous than her nee-chan.

And as for my own sibling...

For now, since there are more important matters going on, I will wait until later to beat you up, Kazuto!

As I was distracted, I failed to see that Megumin had taken the pen from her mother and was writing on the documents…!

"Wait! Has everyone here lost their minds?! Listen to me! Wait, did you put my signature there already?! That's illegal, you know?! Megumin, don't sign ittttt!"

I joined Kazuto's cries as the chaotic development ensued.

…

...

"That almost gave me a heart attack. Why did you play along with their scheme, Megumin?!"

"...You know me. Unexpected developments catch me off guard. I'm sorry. I will maintain my composure from now on."

Offering a simple explanation, Megumin joined me as I admired the stars.

To escape the chaos I stepped outside and Megumin briefly followed me.

After huddling close to me due to the night chill, she began to speak.

"Pulling out those documents are like a kind of prank, so Kazuma shouldn't hold a grudge against his parents. They seem like good people."

"Saying it's a prank… It's obvious my parents were serious! Geez, I expected this kind of event from Megumin's parents, not my own!"

"Insulting my parents… Kazuma said so himself that it was his parents who were at fault this time!"

Shedding light on my contradictions, Megumin began glaring at me.

A stretch of silence ensued. The subdued sounds of our families conversing could be heard from inside.

Komekko's voice, calling for more cake, is the most apparent.

Second to that is the squealing of Kazuto who wanted to come outside and have a chat with Megumin in a bid to 'change onee-sama's mind'.

"Even so, Kazuma has a great family. Nn! Yes, my genius self has already figured this out. I thought for so long that the family who let Kazuma become a despicable NEET for all those years must be deficient in some form but that is not the case. It is Kazuma alone who is deficient."

"It's not like I'm the only one at fault here…"

But, no matter how I spin it, there is no point in pointing the blame on others.

As human beings, we are responsible for our own actions.

In my case, I am responsible for my own inaction.

Her eyes softened somewhat upon seeing my introspective mood.

"But, if Kazuma is a man who is deficient, and lacks in many fundamental pieces that make up a decent person… That might not be so bad. Because…"

"...nn..!"

"Chu… If Kazuma is missing a few pieces, then that means there will be more room for me in his heart, right?"

She went back from standing on tippy toes to her normal height. She wiped around at her lips, where a sheen of moisture had gathered.

"..."

Where is that damn document and where do I sign it?!

 **Part 5**

After that matter was over with…

Daily life began to take on its normal course.

A predictable and sometimes stifling pattern of school, study and part-time work.

Although, in favor of the former two, the part-time work had to take a back seat in priority.

As a senior I had to prepare for university entrance exams.

When your entire future could be decided by one event, your life tends to revolve and conform around said event.

Out of all the subjects, I studied with 'English' the most.

"Herro Iyamu Satou Kazuma. Preessu to meato yuu!"

"... Pronunciation is way off. But, why is Kazuma practicing his pronunciation, anyways? There's no verbal component to the test!"

Megumin had brutal words for my study method.

"I feel like I can get a better hang on the vocab and sentence structure if I say it out loud."

"No. I know what it is. Kazuma is bored and is finding some means to procrastinate. Go back to work!"

I was exposed.

To avoid the fury of Megumin who is pouting and crossing her arms at me, I went back to reviewing my notes.

The last time I took a mock exam, my score was only just passable.

An average score.

Perhaps a middling score would be enough to land me at a decent school.

Already, that is quite an accomplishment for someone who was a NEET until a year ago.

But, aiming for a no-name school… One which will be ignored by potential employers in favor of someone who matriculated at a more famous school…

That is not the kind of future I want.

"This sucks! My brain hurts!"

I understand very well that the hard work and mental stress is necessary in order to achieve my goals. However, intentions don't always produce results.

Instead of grinding EXP in MMOs I should have been burying my nose in textbooks like my peers.

I considered throwing the reference book across the room in frustration, but it was quite expensive and still very much necessary. I resorted to shutting it close emphatically, instead.

"Gah! Kazuma, you ripped a page!"

And yet this still happened.

"Ugohhh~!"

"?!"

I made a sound that didn't sound like something a human could produce.

It is a cry of lament only high school seniors studying for exams are able to produce.

A cry suitable for those who had lost their humanity…!

"Uwaa… I understand, I really do! Kazuma must be mentally fatigued by now! Perhaps… I can help Kazuma release his stress…?"

"Ah. I thought you'd never ask. Get on your knees and suck my cock!"

"...I had that in mind too, but Kazuma really knows nothing about delicacy, huh?"

Megumin narrowed her eyes as I said a line that might have belonged in the script of an adult video.

My parents are gone. Except for the presence of Kazuto who should be playing games in his room, we should be alone.

I moved from the desk where I had been fruitlessly memorizing English vocab, and joined Megumin on the bed, where she had been laying on.

Laying on her stomach and reading the manga I haven't touched in a while, this genius who also puts in hard work has the privilege of leisure.

I sat beside her. She shifted to her side and looked up at me.

"It's been a while since Megumin has offered herself to me like this."

"Don't make it seem like I've been holding out. Kazuma has been busy."

"Still, Megumin could have whined a little and said, 'Pay attention to me too, dear~!'"

"What kind of embarrassing traits are you trying to add to my character?"

"This… This girl who is already full of embarrassing traits has the nerve to say that…"

To the annoyed Megumin who is glaring up at me, I leaned down, my forehead pressing against hers. Our faces drawing close.

Breathing softly, I inched closer. My face tingled as she breathed on it.

"Mm…"

Our lips made the slightest contact. Somehow there is still a bit of nervous energy, even after all this time.

I can never get tired of this.

Soon we are on our sides, laying on the bed, kissing and sliding our hands on each other's bodies.

I drift across her slender waist, and then down to her surprisingly womanly waist and hips.

Then I reach around and give her bum a squeeze.

"Nn…"

Making small moans after every slight caress-well, I suppose we are both still virgins, after all.

After getting our bodies warmed up, I sat up, reluctantly letting go off Megumin's warm body.

I sit leaning against the wall. Megumin takes the cue and gets up as well, on all fours, facing me.

Crawling slightly to me as I work to get my tracksuit bottoms down.

"...Um, I haven't had any opportunities to 'relieve' myself lately, so prepare for a big load."

"That's strange. I figured that Kazuma would turn to self-pleasure as a way to release stress."

"I'm not nearly as barbaric as you make me out to be! I also turn to Aqua-bashing when I want to release stress!"

Although, I haven't had much time to do that either.

After that short interruption, Megumin reached out and wrapped her fingers around my penis. Keeping herself steady with an arm planted on the bed, she strokes me with one hand.

Her soft palm and fingers caressing me…

First she started with basic up and down motions. Her grip travelling the length of my shaft.

Then the motions varied. From a grip, twisting her hand at the base and then continuing this twisting motion as she continued her up and down motion.

Sometimes gripping the top, adding pressure on it with her fingers with a slight pinch, then rubbing her sweaty palm on the tip of my glans.

In short, Megumin has become even more skilled.

As the pre-cum started flowing, Megumin moved even closer.

"Ahn…"

Opening her mouth wide, she leaned down. As her hair was growing longer these days, she needed to hold it back, tucking some strands behind her ear.

With half-lidded, fluttering eyes, long lashes curved upwards, tongue peeking out of her soft, jutting bottom lip, my glans entered her mouth.

Instantly lubricated by her warm saliva, my glans slide against her lips.

"Hah…"

I let out a groan and a breath I had been subconsciously holding as her lips wrapped around me.

With her hand at the base, still twisting and jerking, she started moving her head, bobbing and bouncing on my penis.

She looked up from her work and made eye contact. Her big, luminous eyes upturned, she watched my face carefully.

I smiled and parted her hair to show my appreciation. She nuzzled her head against my hand.

Her lips slid and sucked as she went down on me at a steady pace.

...In terms of intensity and technique, I wouldn't say that she was going all out in sucking me off.

The truth is, Megumin is much more capable than this.

However, a true man of culture will appreciate the charm of a minimalist… I dare say, almost novice, blowjob…!

In fact, for Megumin who has become skilled in the [Fellatio] skill tree, isn't it quite strange that she would show such a tame display as we see here?

That is because…!

Sometime ago, I felt that Megumin was becoming too good.

It somehow didn't fit her image, that of an innocent faced loli, to be so skilled with fellatio.

For a cute girl to be on the same level of proficiency as a skilled, practiced artisan is quite alarming.

Rather, it is image breaking.

And so, I asked Megumin to hide her skills… To keep it under a 'seal'.

With such a chuuni back story, of course this girl will agree to it.

And so this is why Megumin is now sucking me off while giving off an aura of naivety and inexperience.

And so… While looking up at me as if worrying what my reaction will be (part of the act)... And making slight choking sounds as if she made a mistake and shoved it in too far (part of the act)...

"Ah. Megumin! I'm… I'm cumming!"

"Hnmmmm?! Hmmmph… Hnnghh?!"

As if surprised by the development, Megumin opened her eyes wide and cried in surprise (part of the act) as I gushed out a load of my cum.

"Ahhhh! Hahhhh!"

She immediately pulled out, and as I was still cumming, some spurts of cum landed on her cheek and hair. She flinched away from it (part of the act).

"Cough… Cough… That was too much… Kazuma… Cough… Cough…"

Megumin said, hacking and coughing as I filled her mouth and throat with cum.

Of course, this was also part of the act.

"Cough, cough… Wheeze! Wheeze!"

"!"

"Kazuma I'm… COUGH! WHEEZE! Can't…!"

She continued coughing, but much more intensely.

Eh, it's not part of the act?!

 **Part 6**

-Months have passed.

To put it concisely, I'm already a High School graduate now.

"Congratulations!"

"Congratulations!"

"Congratulations!"

"Congratulations!"

"Congratulations!"

"Congratulations!"

"...Congratulations, Kazuma."

...Somehow it felt a bit anticlimactic.

My family, Megumin's family and Megumin herself huddled around me at the school's courtyard.

I looked down at my uniform.

These cloths contain the memories of my time as a student.

The school insignia proudly displayed by the breast pocket represents the feelings of the senpai before me.

I'm wearing this uniform for what will probably be the last time.

My memories in this school are not all good.

But, this is the school where I studied with Megumin. Even if it was only for a year.

Therefore, this uniform, without my knowing it, has become a keepsake to be cherished.

"Ara, hubby… Kazuma-san can probably still use the blazer and trousers of the uniform for casual wear."

"Oho, dear… If Kazuma-kun tears the school insignia off, no one will even notice."

Can this cheapskate family please not intrude with my bittersweet musings?

"Once again, Kazuma, congratulations."

Dressed in her own uniform, Megumin smiled brightly.

"Yeah. Megumin, I did it."

"Yes. You did. Day by day, Kazuma is getting back all the pieces he lost during those idle years. I hope there's still room for me in there."

She poked on my chest, where the second button of my blazer used to be.

In a very old-fashioned request, Megumin had asked for the second button on my blazer.

She now has it pinned, like an accessory, to the collar of her blouse.

"There's always room for Megumin. I hope that Megumin also has room for me."

"Yes, my daughter will always have room for Kazuma's child."

"..."

As the date of my graduation drew nearer, the madam has been making all sorts of dangerous remarks like that.

As I already have a foot inside the boundary leading into the world of the adults, she is already making all sorts of implications.

"Yes, Kazuma! Listen to your mother-in-law well! Make sure to get into a good school and then hurry up and give Megu-chan some babies!"

"I want a boy and a girl, son! I'm saying that I want twins, son!"

"P-Please try to have better family planning, nii-san! There's no need to rush and make babies!"

And here my family is, saying much more ridiculous things.

Only Kazuto is saying reasonable things but since I know his hidden intentions, I can't commend him.

"I'm hungry! Let's go to the restaurant already!"

As usual, Komekko only cares about one thing.

Well, whatever.

The end result was anticlimactic and the peanut gallery is really pissing me off…

But this graduation is just the beginning!

I'm not going to make broad assumptions about the future, so for now let's focus on one thing at a time.

And the next step to my plan to become a responsible adult is…

What my mother mentioned earlier… No, not the babies… University.

Most university entrance exams start at the beginning of the year, at January. Most of my classmates tackled the exams during that time.

However, I chose to wait half a year after graduation to take the exams, thinking that I'd have a better chance that way with all the extra study time.

After all, I wasted several years NEET-ing it out.

While not that conventional, this strategy isn't unheard of. Normally, this would make my chances of getting accepted that much higher.

But...

The universities I applied for were quite famous.

Not so famous that I would have better luck winning the lottery than ever being accepted.

However, to give an estimate, the probability that I would be accepted to these schools, factored altogether with my mock exam scores, aptitude and publicly released acceptance averages for each school, is 50℅.

All my studying has resulted in producing these haphazard, coin flip odds.

But, to say that examinations are based on luck.

That can't be true.

This is not like the probabilities of drawing a rare item in a loot-box gacha summons.

The luck that always lets me win at rock paper scissors will not help me here.

... Actually, has that worthless innate ability helped me out at all?

I spent the half year between my graduation and the university exams studying.

For legal reasons, I will refer to the universities I'm applying for anonymously:

University C, University B and University A

A trio of universities that is famous locally for their arduous examinations.

University C's examination will crush your body.

University B's examination will crush your mind.

University A's examination will crush your spirit.

In my prefecture, this trio of examinations is called the 'Bermuda Exams'.

Usually one is advised to take one of the three and choose weaker schools as the fall-back option.

But, it just so happened that the guidance counselor who was helping me apply for the exams taunted me.

"...Should the Satou-kun who missed most of High School apply for a school as famous as University C? But… Please reconsider…"

In retrospect, this counselor-san probably just has my best interest in mind.

However, for some reason, I was offended by his consideration and applied for the infamous 'Bermuda Exams'.

Even though I had only set out for the easiest of the three, University C's exams.

"Kazuma is normally so cautious in everything he does, but he is quite impulsive and rash in the most importune of times."

Megumin had those words to say to me when I told her of my slip-up.

Furthermore, due to my tendency to procrastinate, I missed the deadline to register to alternative examinations.

Like the real Bermuda triangle, I was entrapped within the forces of these three examinations.

"No, Kazma is entrapped within the forces of his own stupidity."

As expected, Megumin didn't let up on demeaning me.

The atmosphere between us has been tense prior to the exams.

She was quite mad that I impulsively applied for the 'Bermuda exams'.

I didn't even get a chance to have some 'stress-relief'.

"...That thing was resurrected? Don't tell me… Kazuma is cheating on Megu-chan with his old girlfriend?"

My mother had this to say when I recovered my previous companion, body pillow-chan, from the hidden location I stashed her in.

I needed to relieve some stress, after all.

And I wanted to let right hand-chan rest up and be in peak condition for the physically, mentally and spiritually demanding examinations.

Maybe I will use left hand-senpai, instead. The distant and aloof left hand-senpai who I rarely get a chance to interact with.

Surprisingly, instead of having my mind filled with thoughts of panic, I immersed myself with these stupid thoughts.

After half a year, the day of the examinations arrived.

Firstly, I arrived in the grounds of University C.

"Everyone listen up! On average, this exam will take you 6 hours to finish! And to avoid any instances of cheating, no leaving the room, which means no bathroom breaks!"

University C's examination crushed my body.

Secondly, I arrived in the grounds of University B.

"Um, please be mindful that there are many 'booby trap' questions. These are questions that defy common sense and is included there maliciously to purposely set students up to fail. I don't think I should say this as an examiner, but the headmaster of this school is quite the sadist…"

University B's examination crushed my mind.

Thirdly, I arrived in the grounds of University A.

"This year we are implementing a vocal component to the English part of the examination. OK… First up is #3777, Satou Kazuma-san. Let's start off with something simple. Please introduce yourself in English…"

And then...

"H-Herro Iyamu Satou Kazuma. Preessu to meato yuu..."

"...E-Eh? Um… Then, next, please try saying this phrase…"

...University A's examination crushed my spirit.

 **Part 7**

"...Nii-san, you have visitors."

"Let them in."

"...Nii-san, this room… What's that smell? It smells really strange here."

"That is the smell of failure and disappointment, Kazuto."

"No, that smell has always been here, this is something new, nii-san"

Leave me alone already.

Without listening to me at all, Kazuto let my 'guests' in.

"Sniff, sniff… This smell… Is it the undead?! Oh, no, it's just Kazuma."

"Ah… So this is Kazuma in his NEET form? How unhygienic, how unkempt. He's… He's beautiful."

Even though I haven't personally seen or even communicated with those two in a while, Aqua and Darkness didn't hesitate to intrude in my room and insult me.

"Oi, Kazuma, these two came over here to cheer you up. At least make yourself presentable."

Megumin followed after them.

"Thank you, Kazuto. You can play with Komekko in the living room now."

"I'd rather spend time with Megumin nee-sama, though…"

"I will join you two to play once I'm done with Scum-zu… I mean, your brother."

Even if you change it midway, we all know what you're trying to say, Megumin.

In fact, just say it to my face, loli…!

Even as they entered my room, I stayed inside the comforts of my blanket.

"From what I understand, Kazuma applied for the toughest exams in the prefecture, right? Of course this outcome is expected."

Darkness said as she seemed to think about sitting on my computer chair, only to have Aqua take the seat before she could make her move.

"Why is Kazuma so hung up on exams anyways? I failed mine too but I'm not worrying! As an idol, I don't need to worry about something as stupid as those schools!"

Those schools don't need to worry about someone as stupid as you, too, useless idol.

I eventually crawled out of my blankets and regarded my guests.

There was no point in ignoring this lazy bunch.

"So, what do you want?"

I asked bluntly to Aqua and Darkness who barged in without any forewarning.

"Megumin told us about your... condition. You know… Not feeling as spry and energetic as before… How Kazuma can't get up…"

"I assume by that past part that you meant 'cant get up from bed'. Don't make it seem like I've become impotent."

As I finished correcting Darkness, Aqua had been impatiently stomping around.

"Just get up already, Kazuma! Megumin has been really worried about you, you know?! She was even saying all sort of things like… Hmmmph!"

"I said no such things that Aqua might be about to refer to. In any case, Kazuma, you've heard what our friends had to say. Now, will you keep moping about or will you get up on your feet and continue to try your best again?"

"Hmmmph!"

Megumin…

That speech would have been more inspiring if you weren't trying to gag Aqua now.

Wait… Now that Aqua is here.

"Oi, you! Useless idol! You were supposed to give me the money you owe me the last time we got together but you completely bailed! And whenever I brought the subject up during our group call sessions, you always avoided the matter! Pay up already! For all the credits you used on useless cosmetics and loot boxes, pay up!"

"Wahh! Wait! Since then I've spent much more of our team credits on rare items! I can't afford to pay Kazuma that kind of money!"

"Is that my problem?! If you can readily confess to your own sins, then just as readily atone to them!"

"Wahh! Stop poking meeeee!"

Midway during my poking attack on her, Aqua's face shifted to a thoughtful expression as if she recalled something important.

"Ah! Wait! Kazuma, there is something…! It's… Ow! Please… Please stop that already…"

She said while showing teary eyes.

"Like I said, I can't give Kazuma the money directly but… Wait, don't start attacking me again! Let me just make a phone call first!"

Backing away from my attack range, she rummaged into her purse and pulled out a phone.

It is a new model, too.

So how exactly can she claim to lack money but have the funds for all sorts of gadgets?

As she stepped outside and made a call, I turned to the other two.

Things were still a bit strained with Megumin and I but from the looks of it, whatever damage there had been is already being patched up.

She sat beside me on the bed, body pressed against mine.

...She smells good.

"..."

"..."

There is some real sexual tension going on, here…!

"Ah, Kazuma, did I tell you? My Crusader levelled up yesterday. I will put all the skill points into 'constitution', as I always do.

Displaying Aqua-like obliviousness, Darkness couldn't sense the atmosphere at all.

"Ah, OK, thank you very much… Alright… No, I swear I'm not just fooling around, I really am doing something important right now…"

Aqua returned after she finished her call. She came up to me with her hands to her hips as she grinned widely.

"Good news! It's really good news, Kazuma! Praise me! For this fortuitous development, make sure to praise me!"

"Just spit it out already! I don't really have any high expectations from you, but I hate being kept in suspense!"

"Is that really the way you should talk to someone who is doing you a favor?! Very well, I will soon have you on your knees and begging for forgiveness! Listen, as the great idol that I am, of course I will need to have a reliable staff and assistants around me to attend to my every need, right?"

I wanted to retort that I couldn't imagine there being anyone who would stoop so low as to grovel and answer to Aqua's beck and call, as she is implying here, but…

"...Say, I can somewhat see where this is heading. However, before I make any assumptions, does Aqua mind telling me what the pay is for this kind of work?"

"Hm? I forgot but… Oh, my agent sent me a text in case I forgot."

That agent knows their client well.

"Ah, if Kazuma works for me for a year or so, here is what your salary should look like…"

"!"

"Isn't… Isn't this a ridiculous amount, Kazuma?!"

"Hm? This doesn't seem that much to me. Are you sure this is a whole year's worth of work?"

"I don't want to hear that from you, you spoiled ojou-sama!"

"O-Ojou-sama?!"

The year where I am basically a 'ronin', someone who failed the university entrance exams the first time, and is preparing for a whole school year to attempt once more...

Aside from studying, I will also need to work.

And if I really am being paid this ridiculous amount…!

"I'm sorry, Aqua-sama! Please forgive me! I will gladly work in your employ!"

"E-Eh? I know that I told Kazuma that he would soon get on his knees and beg for forgiveness but… OK, I get it already! You're forgiven! Stop hugging my legs! Megumin, control your… Wait, Megumin, too?!"

Aqua hollered as she tried to shake us off.

Before, as a NEET, I didn't really get how hard it was to earn money in this world.

After working a part-time job, I finally got a taste of hard work.

So, forget about dignity.

I don't care if it's just grunt work. If it means earning money, and a good amount of it too, I will swallow my pride and take on any demeaning job.

"Alright! Starting tomorrow, I expect Kazuma to come to my hotel starting at six a.m. in the morning! That's the hour when the day of an idol starts! Be sure to cook me a good breakfast, prepare the bath and then give me the morning newspaper! Here is a schedule for what a normal day for me looks like, as well as the various tasks you need to attend to…"

Aqua listed off a whole day's work of grunt work.

"...Wait a minute, for this kind of slave work, even that crazy amount isn't worth it! Are you trying to get me to sign a contract with the devil?!"

"Wah! Stop pulling on my cheeks! OK, we can negotiate, we can negotiate!"

Even as I pulled on Aqua's cheeks, I was getting a bad feeling about this.

Maybe I should just return to the NEET lifestyle, after all.


	4. Ronin period

**God's Blessings on this IRL World!**

 **Editing and proofreading: LordVTP, Marv**

 **Chapter 4: Ronin Period**

 **Part 1**

"Ah, Kazuma, you're here. I didn't think you'd make it in time. Please, come in."

Since Aqua asked me to come early in the morning, I figured I could show up a few hours later than she asked.

From what I knew of her, I figured she would sleep in until much later.

But that talk about being a dedicated, hard working idol seems to have some truth to it.

"Why is Kazuma looking at me like that? And come in already! Did you bring the morning paper?"

Aqua was dressed in a light blue bathrobe and flannel bottoms.

"I didn't know Aqua read the paper."

I said as I entered and looked around Aqua's apartment.

The place was messy, with clothes strewn across the floor, and old newspapers and magazines carelessly piled on top of furniture surfaces.

It was messy, but there was a sense of organization in the messiness, a system abiding in some weird, chaotic logic that only appeals to the 'special' type of person Aqua was.

"First, I need Kazuma to cook breakfast. And some coffee would be nice too!"

Aqua nodded to herself before she snatched the newspaper from me and took a seat on the living room couch.

"Let's see… The latest installment in the Jack Frost comics is… What an unexpected development!"

So she just wanted to read the comic section, huh?

While Aqua enjoyed her comics, I prepared breakfast.

As someone who was tasked with protecting his home in the past, I learned basic survival skills.

I also learned quite a few skills from many spare, idle hours.

Skills that some would consider lacking in real life applications, like sewing, craft-work and lip reading, to name a few.

Aside from those useless skills, I learned the vital skill of cooking.

As the solitary defender of my home, I needed to learn how to cook for myself when my parents were working.

I cooked something for Kazuto, too, I guess.

Aqua's refrigerator was well stocked.

One of the main tasks I had as Aqua's personal assistant was to make sure her meals, especially breakfast, were healthy and filling.

In the chance I couldn't cook, I was provided with a budget to buy pre-cooked meals.

But I didn't want to dip into the funds too much.

As this job might lead to more opportunities in the future, I wanted to make a good impression.

This experience would look good on a resume even if I don't receive any further opportunities in this certain field.

These days, I've certainly become more socially aware.

The me now was a far cry from the me in those NEET years.

Living for someone other than yourself really puts a different perspective on things.

"Ooh! This actually looks good, Kazuma!"

Aqua said, as I placed a tray in front of her.

Protein and some healthy fat provides long lasting energy, so I prepared some omelette rolls.

As for the carbs, there was some leftover rice stored in the fridge.

I prepared basic miso soup and poured it on the rice, heating up the rice without making it mushy by microwaving or reheating it on a stove.

Plus, miso soup on rice is very delicious.

For the vegetable dish, I stir fried some veggies on a wok.

I didn't add garlic, as I imagined an idol wouldn't appreciate having that garlicky smell leak out from her pores for several hours.

For that reason, onions were out, too.

Instead I used shallots, which were milder alternatives to onions and they don't stink as much.

They still provided a sharp aroma and the sweet tasting yet astringent quality onions have.

I used canola oil to stir fry, tossed in some cubed tofu, and mixed it all in with dashi and a sprinkle of sesame oil to flavor. I squeezed in some lemon juice to counteract the oils.

"This actually doesn't look that bad! I thought that Kazuma would open some canned sardines and pour it on toast, but this really isn't that bad!"

"As if I'd make that sort of disgusting dish… What opinion do you have of me, exactly?"

After we finished eating, Aqua took a shower while I cleaned up and washed the dishes.

According to the itenary, the first event of the day is a rehearsal.

Aqua has a surprise show in a department store at 12 pm.

She will spend a three hour rehearsal prior to make sure her routine is perfected.

From my understanding, Aqua has a passionate and loyal core fanbase, but lacks mainstream appeal.

Her 'rival' is an idol who is quickly rising in the industry.

She goes by the stage name, 'Eris'.

To compete with Eris's mainstream appeal, Aqua has taken to promoting herself in free shows like this.

"Ahh… Nothing like a warm, relaxing shower to start the day! ...Feels so… ZZZzzzZZZ…"

Aqua collapsed on the couch and promptly drifted off to sleep.

Just as I was starting to have some respect for this hardworking Aqua, she shows me this disgraceful sight.

 **Part 2**

"Thanks for the hard work, everyone!"

Aqua said as she bowed to her backup dancers and choreography director.

"You were great as always, Aqua-san!"

"You may seem like an airhead at times, but you're really a quick learner when it comes to this stuff!"

"Thanks, everyone!"

I don't think they're complimenting you, Aqua.

As everyone was packing up, I gave Aqua a bottle of mineral water.

"Good work."

I said as she gulped the water down.

"Puwahh! That hit the spot! So? How was I, Kazuma? It would be troublesome if you fell in love with the beautiful and talented me so easily. Please don't forget that you already have Megumin."

"Trust me, that won't be a problem."

It's a shame.

If she wasn't such an idiot, this girl would actually be pretty desirable.

And when it comes to performance arts, she is clearly very gifted.

She has looks and talent…

To even the playing field, the gods must have lowered her intelligence stat to make it fair for everyone else.

"Did Kazuma have a talk with my producer already?"

"Yes, I did."

"Had the contract signed and everything?"

"Well, yes…"

"Hm? What's the matter?"

Aqua looked at me in confusion as she handed me the empty water bottle.

The producer didn't even try to sugarcoat things.

This job is hard.

The pay is good… At least, it's better than the amount I'd get from working part-time at a convenience store.

But, from cooking Aqua's meals, doing her chores, taking care of her daily affairs, running errands, as well as doing miscellaneous work if there is ever a shortage of workers in the crew…

From dawn to dusk, I will need to slave away for Aqua!

"Alright! The show will start in about an hour! Please eat your lunch and take this time to relax before then! Satou-kun! Please help with distributing the catering!"

"Y… Yes…!"

The producer-san called my name as trolleys filled with bento boxes came in.

"So you're the new lackey, eh? Hope you make it longer than the last one. Hahaha!"

"And remember, romance with your boss is strictly forbidden! Hahaha!"

These senpai didn't ease up on teasing the new guy.

After I helped with distributing the bento boxes, I took my own and sat beside Aqua, who was already digging in.

We were all sitting on the floor as we ate.

"Free meals always taste delicious!"

Aqua said as she ate a sausage in one bite and washed it away with tea.

She didn't seem nervous at all, even though I was slightly shaking.

I'm not even directly involved in the performance and I'm already like this.

The backup dancers and Aqua herself don't seem to feel any apprehension.

So this is what it means to be a pro.

I've recently learned how hard it was to earn money in this world.

Professionals who not only work for money, but have the expectations of thousands of people burdening them are truly incredible.

Compared to myself who was an unproductive NEET until a while ago…

Are you telling me I can't even compare to Aqua?!

After lunch, I helped the crew move some tote boxes containing props and lighting equipment to one of the three vans we were bringing with us.

One van is for Aqua, the producer, and myself.

The make-up artist also came along with us to make sure nothing happened to Aqua's make-up during the ride.

"Aqua-chan's fans can get quite rowdy and impatient. We won't have the opportunity to set up a dressing room in the venue as they might try to sneak in and meet with Aqua-chan."

The producer explained to me when I asked why they did the make-up and fitting prior to our arrival.

Just how troublesome are Aqua's fans?

To keep the makeup from running, the air conditioning in this van is turned all the way up.

So… So cold.

In the second van, following behind us, are the four back-up dancers and the choreography director.

He's probably going over the routine with them one final time.

We stored the props and lighting equipment in the third van, which had the bench seats on the sides raised to fit the equipment in.

"Hm… Kazuma seems a bit jittery. Could it be that you are nervous about this show? Don't be! If an idol screws up, it won't be her support crew that will be blamed, the blame will rest solely on the idol! So Kazuma has nothing to worry about!"

"Are you fearless?! Or are you just so thick skulled that you can't even comprehend fear?!"

"Owwww! Why is Kazuma pulling on my hair?!"

"Please don't do that! Kazuma-kun will ruin the make-up!"

The makeup artist pleaded for me to stop.

…

…

"Aqua-chan~! Please look this way~!"

"Kyaaa~! It's the real deal! It's Aqua-chan in the flesh~!"

"Please hold me, Aqua-chan~!"

The ones shrieking and saying these embarrassing lines in public are a group of scary looking guys.

Aqua twirled and danced on the stage, the back-up dancers accompanying her as they danced to the chirpy melody of Aqua's song.

There is indeed a good reception by the core fans.

The target audience of this free show isn't the core fans, though, but potential new ones.

And so far, these potential fans are understandably staying clear from this pack of rabid Aqua radicals.

They almost seemed like some kind of cult!

"Thank you! Thank you everyone for coming!"

"We love you, Aqua-chan~!"

This Aqua cult collectively heaved a love-sick sigh as Aqua bowed her thanks and left the stage.

From backstage, the rest of the crew was observing the show.

"A popular idol like Eris might accumulate the most fans and public attention during her popular period, but Aqua-chan has a following who will adore her for life! And that, Kazuma-kun, is irreplaceable…"

The producer, Cecily-san, said this passionately as she looked at her client proudly.

Even the producer is acting like this.

Did I actually get roped into some kind of cult?

 **Part 3**

I spent practically everyday working overtime.

By the time I got home, I spent that time on exam prep.

On my days off, I spent the mornings studying.

At noon, I'd pick up Megumin from her school and Komekko as well on the way home.

"Time to recharge! Uwaaa… Hugging you just melts all my stress away…"

"Nyaaa~"

Chomusuke purred as I snuggled up with her.

"When Kazuma said 'I really need Megumin's pussy right now', I should have expected this sort of punchline."

Megumin said as she sat beside me on her bed.

She's still wearing her uniform, which got me thinking…

Megumin is her second year now, huh?

How would I feel when I see Megumin graduate?

A kind of surreal feeling, maybe.

If it all works out well, I'll be in my second year of college once Megumin graduates.

We probably won't end up studying in the same college.

In terms of potential, Megumin is on another level than me. She's smart enough to study at a famous university.

Still, I'm not going to say something cliche like: 'She deserves better than me'.

I won't give away Megumin to anyone.

For example, if some rich kid bishounen type were to fall in love with Megumin and comes over to intimidate me…

Saying cliche lines like: 'She belongs with me, not a peasant like you'.

I'd have no problem with drop kicking him on the head and then hiding behind the influence of Darkness, who is a also a rich kid and seems to have quite the reputable family.

Speaking of whom, Darkness is on some fancy trip right now.

Probably on a journey to 'find herself'.

Meanwhile here I am working my ass off.

"Damn it! I hate rich kids!"

"Nyaaaa?!"

Chomusuke screeched as my grip tightened around her.

"Hm? What's Kazuma mad about now?"

Megumin had gone on to do her homework while my thoughts headed to a weird tangent.

"I was just thinking about drop kicking all the boys who might flirt with Megumin in the future."

"In the future? What makes Kazuma think that boys aren't flirting with me _now_?"

"Kazuto doesn't count."

"He's… He's considered a boy, isn't he?! And quite frankly, I find your little brother's antics cute sometimes…"

What part of that brat is cute?

After all this time, that brat is still trying to steal Megumin from me.

I don't know where he got that scummy attitude from.

Megumin sighed as she closed her reference book.

"It seems like Kazuma keeps mentioning 'the future' these days. Is something on your mind?"

She scooted over and leaned against me, the side of her head resting against my shoulder.

"I'm currently in the most important turning point of my life, where it's not an exaggeration to say that every decision matters, of course I will think about all sorts of things."

If I somehow struck it rich, maybe I wouldn't be so preoccupied with such thoughts.

I might even return to my NEET self and bum around under the kotatsu all day.

Or maybe I will go on a frivolous 'journey to find myself' like Darkness.

But!

Work, school, student debts, my future with Megumin…

Even if I try to hide from it, I can't run from reality.

"..."

But seriously, if the innate luck I've been gifted with since birth suddenly kicks in and I somehow win the lottery…

That'd be great, too!

"Well, enough about me, for now. What's Megumin up to these days?"

"Nothing much… Well, actually… That strict Math teacher gets mad whenever I wear my awesome eyepatch to school. At first he assumed I was wearing it to cover an injury or birth defect of some kind, and felt pity towards me and let me get away with all sorts of dress code infractions. But then he somehow caught on and now I've become a target of his…"

That's what you get for taking advantage of people's kindness.

Come to think of it, I only ever see that eyepatch and her red contact lenses when Megumin arrives home and puts them on.

When I come to pick her up from school, she's not wearing any of her chuuni gear, even the fingerless gloves and collar come off.

Going to school without her chuuni gear...

With her black eyes, black hair, porcelain skin and sailor fuku, she looks like a classic school girl bishoujo.

"..."

"Why did Kazuma go quiet all of a sudden?"

"Their names! The boys flirting with Megumin at school, tell me their names!"

"...! Eh?! Kazuma?! Calm… Calm down!"

If Megumin looks and acts like a normal girl, any guy would end up falling for her.

It wouldn't surprise me if some handsome guy already confessed to Megumin but she just never told me about it.

"That's it! I'm quitting work to watch over Megumin 24/7!"

"Has Kazuma lost his mind?! I know that your work is stressful but please don't lose your marbles!"

 **Part 4**

As I got used to the ins-and-outs of the job, sometimes I'd coast through work as if my brain was on automatic.

Before, I'd scramble from place to place in a disoriented frenzy.

Now that I'm acclimated, these days it's become less of a job and more like a series of chores.

However, there was one event that didn't conform to the usual routine.

"A convention? And for that game?!"

Aqua said as Cecily-san explained the event to her.

This event is...

The MMORPG that brought us all together, 'God's Blessings on this Wonderful World!' will have its ever convention.

In order to make a big splash, they invited the rising star in the idol industry, Eris, to come and perform in the event.

Aqua was also invited, for some reason.

She was by no means unpopular, but Aqua is considered more infamous than famous.

Since there have been numerous incidents and controversies already, Aqua is rarely invited to corporate sponsored events.

Controversies such as Aqua ordering her rabid fans to infiltrate Eris's events and harass her supporters.

There was also that one incident that went viral, when Aqua tweeted out the hashtag '#Erispadsherchest' on her official twitter page.

To invite Aqua who has a well known beef with Eris, I can only suspect that the P.R. guys working for the game are hoping for some sort of incident to happen.

In that way, they will earn free publicity at the expense of Aqua making an ass of herself.

Of course, being a producer, Cecily-san must have figured this out herself.

"So, Aqua-chan, please sign here to complete the contract…"

"Okies~! Just here, right?"

"Idiots! What are you two idiots doing?!"

I snatched the contract away from Aqua, only to find that it had already been signed.

Furthermore, Aqua signed a legal document with a cutesy heart sign after her signature.

"Why is Kazuma causing a fuss? I can finally show off to those guys in the adventurer's guild who doubted my identity as a professional idol. Just wait until I go up to the stage and call out their usernames and tell them to suck it!"

Controversy #1 is already taking form.

"Cecily! Make sure to contact my goons… I mean, beloved fans in the official fan club, and tell them to buy tickets for this event, A.S.A.P.!"

"Right away!"

And here's Controversy #2.

Before those two could hatch up any more terrible schemes, I intervened.

"This is why Aqua's following never increases even if you set up free shows every week! Aqua keeps causing all sorts of unnecessary controversies! Why can't you just do this event like normal?!"

"Kazuma doesn't understand! Not at all! I'm only resorting to such means because that slut Eris is using her own unscrupulous methods herself! Doesn't Kazuma suspect anything?! For such a slim and lithely built girl to have such a massive chest, isn't that a bit suspicious?! Yes, that villain is deceiving the masses with her erotic chest! She only became popular due to these lies! What I'm saying is… Eris pads her chest!"

Aqua suddenly stood from her chair as she went on a passionate, raving rant.

It might be my imagination, but her eyes seem to be glowing.

This still seemed like a bad idea to me, but at the end of the day I'm just a glorified babysitter.

I don't have any real authority here.

"..."

Also.

I didn't want to say this to my employers, but…

I actually quite enjoy Eris' music.

Considering how Aqua is behaving maliciously right now, isn't Eris the superior idol?

She has the air of an orthodox idol.

Gentle features and mannerisms.

A true, proper idol.

It doesn't help that I've seen Aqua at her worst.

Getting drunk in the middle of the day, taking a nap wherever she pleased, not caring if the public saw her acting in such a carefree manner.

If I had a choice, I'd work as an assistant for Eris rather than this sloppy idol!

 **Part 5**

A few weeks after Cecily-san's announcement...

"Kazuma, Kazuma. How does this look?"

"It's… It's surprisingly good."

"Did Kazuma have any doubts about my artistic talent?"

"It's not that. I know that Aqua is weirdly talented in unexpected areas. Considering the materials you used, I just didn't think it'd turn out so well… Ah, Megumin, maybe you can give us a little spin? Specifically, I want to see the butt part…"

"Kazuma takes every opportunity to display his sexual harassment…"

Standing in front of us was Megumin cosplaying as the Arch-Wizard character she plays online.

"I know that Megumin's avatar has a tall and busty physique, but I think this version with Megumin's lacking… I mean, petite, doll-like body is rather cute, wouldn't you say so, Kazuma?"

I don't know about that, but I did notice that these 'mage-robes' surprisingly showed a lot of the skin with the mantle taken off...

"I'm especially proud of that staff. It looks very realistic, doesn't it? If you press that button over there, it will glow…"

"Aqua, I'm really impressed!"

Megumin did a couple of poses as she twirled her staff around.

"I prepared one for each of us based on our characters! I had the most trouble with Darkness's outfit since that involves a lot of parts, so I'm going to charge her for the bill once we meet up!"

Aqua is aware that unworldly ojou-sama with no sense for money will pay whatever amount.

When I mentioned the convention to Megumin, she told me that she wanted to attend as well.

Since this is the first time the cheap and frugal Megumin asked for something beyond the occasional snacks and treats, I easily obliged.

We invited Darkness to make it a group event. We haven't hung out as a group in a while since everyone was busy.

During the time before the convention, Aqua worked hard to make these costumes.

Aqua really did an amazing job with these costumes, but…

"If I remember correctly, my sword was bigger in the game."

I said while looking over the plastic imitation sword Aqua gave me.

"I ran out of materials, so Kazuma's sword turned out more like a dagger."

"I'll buy you more materials. Make it bigger."

"No need to get so defensive… Well, if Kazuma is paying me money to make his thing bigger, I can't refuse."

Please word that differently.

Right now, we are trying on our costumes in a hotel room.

Since the convention is held in another city, we booked a room in a hotel close to the convention hall.

We planned to have a sleepover of sorts with Darkness and Megumin sleeping on one bed, and Aqua and I sleeping on the other.

The reason for this is that Darkness didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night and catch Megumin and I doing something lewd.

That's what she claimed, at least.

Even though Aqua is also female, Darkness didn't think that anything could happen between us.

That assumption is correct.

There is no chance of anything happening.

Rest assured.

Speaking of Darkness…

"When will that ojou-sama arrive, anyway?"

Aqua was still fussing with Megumin's outfit as she answered me,

"Now that I think about it, weren't we supposed to pick her up at the airport?"

That ojou-sama finally got back from her trip.

After Aqua mentioned it, I do remember an agreement about picking Darkness up.

Megumin stopped doing her poses and looked at the wall clock.

"We were supposed to pick her up… At least six hours ago."

During that time we had been fooling around and even an hour long nap.

"Hold… Hold on! I need to put on my disguise! If I go out in public looking like this, one of my millions of fans will surely recognize me!"

Aqua shrieked as we pulled her away from the room and onto the lobby.

"If you don't want them to recognize you, then just shut up already."

After we changed back into more casual clothes, Aqua donned her very suspicious disguise, which included shades, a sick mask and a hat.

"You better not come in like that in the airport or we'll have problems with security."

"What is Kazuma implying? The suspicious Kazuma should be the one worried about security. Now that I think about it, that suspicious Darkness might be in custody right now. That's why she's been stuck in the airport for several hours now. In conclusion, it's Darkness and Kazuma who will have problems with security, not me!"

We splurged a bit on a taxi and I was pretty sure the driver ripped us off on the bill, but we were already six hours late.

A quick text to Darkness told us that she was still waiting at the airport.

"I don't understand. Darkness knows where we are staying. Why didn't she just get a taxi herself?"

The answer to Megumin's question is quite obvious if we consider Darkness' character.

Surely enough, we found Darkness standing outside the loading zone.

She's carrying her luggages with both hands even though she could just as easily have placed them on the floor.

"...What do you say we leave that rotten girl there to wait another two hours?"

"It will be a waste of taxi fare if we did that. And she already saw us."

Megumin pointed to Darkness, who started panting and blushing even harder when she spotted us.

"For… For my friends to abandon me like this, breaking a promise to meet up and leaving me alone to be humiliated… Kuh! Thank you for the treat! What a way to conclude an excellent and enriching trip!"

Before she could attract any more attention, we dragged her inside the taxi.

As a tall foreigner subjecting herself to a weird punishment game involving heavy luggages, Darkness had attracted a group of onlookers.

There were some people saying: 'She finally moved!'.

"Is it just me, or is the cab tilting over to where Darkness is sitting now? I'm… I'm not going to pay if the tires get damaged or anything!"

"It's… It's the luggage, Aqua! Since we are making a turn, the heavy luggage in the trunk must be swerving over to one side!"

I see, now.

Darkness went on a cliched trip to 'find herself'.

She must have found herself, indeed.

This is why she's acting even more rotten than usual.

…

…

"Ahhh! That feels nice! Laying down after all that punishment from Kazuma and the others is quite nice!"

"Don't make it sound like we had any hand in your stupidity. It wasn't our fault you were born so twisted."

I said to the Darkness who melted as soon as she plopped down onto a bed.

Megumin handed a glass of juice to Darkness. We bought the juice at a nearby convenience store along with some snacks earlier, when we were fooling around and forgot all about Darkness. Megumin said,

"I'm glad Darkness is relaxing, but please keep in mind that the convention hall opens in half an hour."

Taking a bag of potato chips for herself, Aqua forcefully jumped onto our shared bed, making me spit out the juice I was drinking.

"I'm really excited! At first I was excited 'coz I can finally teach that Eris a lesson, but hanging out with everyone in such a big event is also fun!"

From her own bed, sitting while kicking her feet out, Megumin smiled gently at Aqua's words.

"This game is what brought us together, so I'm quite thankful for the developers. It almost seems like it's my obligation of sorts to attend this convention."

"Yes, I am grateful to that game that allowed me to meet three beautiful girls. The odds of such a thing happening is a miracle. And with such odds, I even managed to date the sanest girl in the group. Although, that's not really saying much..."

"Die, scum."

"Gah!"

For my comment, Darkness punched me on the shoulder. Then, she said,

"Wait, did I hear Aqua saying something about… Eris?"

"You know how Eris is also performing at the convention? Well, I'm planning on having my goons… I mean, fans, 'take care' of her… Hehehe…"

Aqua giggled as she munched on her chips. Meanwhile, a complicated expression came over Darkness's face.

"What kind of twisted schemes did Aqua plan for the idol I admire?! Doesn't Aqua know that I have been a fan of Eris since she debuted?! And don't lump me in with those bandwagon fans! I'm an O.G. fan! No, rather than that, when Aqua said something about 'goons' and 'taking care'... Please provide details!"

"Don't get excited."

I didn't expect Darkness to be a fellow Eris fan.

If you asked anyone who they would rather support between Aqua and Eris, anyone who is at least partially sane will say 'Eris'.

This is why I didn't expect Darkness to be a fellow Eris fan.

We let Darkness cool off and take a bath during the time we had before the convention.

When she got out, Aqua proudly presented her 'masterpiece' to Darkness, who put on the outfit while gushing about it.

"Amazing! This quality is amazing! This looks and feels like real armor! If the Japanese police saw me walking around with this greatsword, they will surely deport me out of the country!"

Aqua's talents are such that mere cosplay from an online game looks like terrorist gear.

I can't help but feel that she is in the wrong business.

"If everyone is ready, I am eager to move out now. I can't contain my excitement any longer! I can't wait to show off this excellent cosplay… I mean, wizard gear! I wish I had the foresight to bring my familiar, Chomusuke, but sadly I didn't..."

Megumin regretfully sighed to herself.

"...After all, I can't let my little sister starve during my absence."

"Did… Did you really leave Chomusuke alone with that little monster for such a reason?!"

Ignoring me, Megumin twirled her staff once and headed out.

 **Part 6**

The convention hall was filled with booths and attractions based on the game, including its world and lore.

Among merchandise booths selling artwork and posters were doujinshi depicting in-game story events, and one-off stories featuring popular NPCs.

The food courts even served food based on in-game consumables.

In the game, food items provides experience points when consumed, as well as specific boosts to stats.

One can harvest the raw materials and cook it with the cooking skill, or purchase a pre-made meal from an NPC.

Some monsters even drop cooked meals, for some inexplicable reason.

"You know, I never really thought about it, but the food in that game is quite unusual…"

Darkness said as she stared at the 'fried toad-meat kebob' in front of her.

After spending a good hour checking out the attractions, we headed to the food court.

"The prices are quite cheap for convention food. I approve of this. Nom!"

"Megumin… Are you really eating that…?"

Darkness cringed as Megumin bit into the kebob.

From the way Megumin was chewing it, the meat looked gamey and tough to chew.

"It's really juicy and quite good, and the flavor is very strong despite the firm texture. And it's cheap, too."

Stop saying 'cheap', already.

"Megumin is right, this is quite good!"

She shouldn't be eating so much before her performance, but that didn't stop Aqua from chowing down.

But since everyone was in a good mood, I didn't say anything.

This kind of feeling, hanging out with friends, is not bad.

"...Say, hasn't Kazuma been smiling while looking at us all this while? Megumin, tell your man to stop being so creepy."

"Shush, Aqua. If you say that aloud, the socially awkward Kazuma will feel embarrassed for openly basking in feelings of belonging and camaraderie."

"Can you girls give me a break once in a while?!"

What kind of face was I making?

As those girls teased me, a voice suddenly called out to us,

"For… For us to meet here! How marvelous! What a strange twist of fate! At last, we meet… My rival!"

Standing in front of us, awkwardly doing some chuuni poses, is a girl cosplaying as the Crimson Demon race.

She had red eyes and black hair tied into braids. She was wearing mage robes and underneath, a blouse that shows off her chest.

Megumin met this girl's gaze, then her eyes moved down to the chest…

"Tch!"

"E-Eh? What's… What's with that response…?"

"No reason. And who are you, anyways?"

"Has Megumin forgotten me?! It's me, it's me! Megumin's rival, Yunyun!"

I didn't know who this Yunyun was, but it's clear to me that she's cosplaying a Crimson Demon.

One of the available races, the Crimson Demon race is fit for those who want to play the mage playstyle due to broken racial traits, which gives an absurd boost to magic base stats.

In the forums, players will often bemoan the Crimson Demon race with phrases like, 'plz Nerf'.

Since the Crimson Demon clan is a free-to-play race, and is not included in any of the expansion packs, it's quite telling how only 33% of mage players choose Crimson Demons as their race, even if it's the best magic based race in terms of min-max, build optimization.

This is due to the stereotype associated with Crimson Demon players.

To give an example…

Megumin is a notorious RPer among the community.

Her obsessive dedication to role playing and staying in-character is well known.

And this trait does not only apply to her, but most Crimson Demon players.

Yes, it's that.

The stereotype is that all Crimson Demon players are roleplaying, chuuni edgelords.

The worst will erupt into a tantrum if you ruin their 'immersion'.

Stealing their 'O.C.' is also an unforgivable transgression.

"Even though I went out of my way to wear this embarrassing cosplay… Megumin is the one who invited me to this event! Don't pretend like you don't know me!"

"Ah, wait, isn't this Yunyun? Sorry, my bad. You just look a bit weird offline, so I didn't recognize you for a moment."

"I… I look weird?! H-How about Megumin?! Aren't you some kind of busty bombshell online?! How… How misleading!"

"You can't even make a proper diss without stumbling over your words, huh? How pitiful. Now… Take back what you said!"

You called the diss 'pitiful', but it seems to have affected you in a deep level, Megumin.

Before a brawl could take place, I stepped in between the two girls.

I formed a barricade with my arms stretched out.

As I faced Yunyun, she reflexively looked into my eyes.

Then she looked out my outstretched arms.

"Could… Could this kind sir be offering me a hug? Is this like those videos on the internet that show kind samaritans offering free hugs to lonely looking strangers? Thank… Thank you for your kindness!"

Yunyun stretched her arms out too and prepared to embrace me.

"Don't flirt with my man!"

"E-Eh?! Your man…?! Megumin has a man?!"

"Why does Yunyun sound so surprised? I mentioned it a few times already."

"I thought you were just bluffing…"

"Why you…!"

As Megumin launched herself at Yunyun, I called out to the other two:

"Aqua, Darkness! Don't just stare! Help me stop them!"

It resulted in a brawl, after all.

 **Part 7**

"Geez. That Yunyun just doesn't know when to take the hint. Even though we wanted to ditch her, she kept sticking around."

Megumin said this as Yunyun excused herself after bickering with Megumin for a good half-hour.

"Don't be rude. Megumin was the only one trying to drive her away. Rather than that, why don't you tell me about how you met that girl, in the first place?"

Megumin never mentioned Yunyun before, not even in passing conversation.

"Like she claimed, she treats me as a rival. Back when I had trouble finding party members, that girl started clinging onto me for some reason. I even considered creating a different account on another server just to ditch her."

"Megumin is too cruel."

Listening to Megumin's cold words, even the big 'M' Darkness had this to say.

After Yunyun left, we started walking around idly before Aqua's performance started.

Aqua already left to do some last minute rehearsal. I was going to follow her but she told me to stay and enjoy the convention with the others.

This might sound like a sweet gesture, but I know that Aqua just doesn't want me around for her scheming session with Cecily-san.

"That Yunyun is also quite a strange girl. Even though she chose the Crimson Demon race in character select, she was hesitant to roleplay at first. She didn't even understand me when I asked to see her O.C.'s character description."

"She probably didn't expect that kind of burden when choosing the race."

I almost chose the Crimson Demon race myself when I saw their racial traits, but a quick Google search informed me about that the reputation of Crimson Demon players.

"Is Megumin sure you don't want to talk to that girl for a bit longer? It seems like she attended this convention and even dressed up because of Megumin…"

Darkness looked back into the general direction where Yunyun parted ways with us. As she was tall, she could easily survey the crowd. As she did so, her eyes widened a bit, and she said,

"Wait… I think I see her following us?'

"That's why I'm not worried about that girl. As you can see, we won't be able to lose her even in this kind of crowd. Just ignore her and act like you usually would. Pretend we're in a reality TV program and that girl is one of the cameramen."

"Cruel… Megumin is really cruel…"

Darkness muttered to herself, reiterating her previous claim.

After walking around aimlessly, the time for Aqua's performance soon arrived.

While we were walking, I recognized some familiar voices among the crowd that belong to players we encountered in the game before.

Some of them recognized us from our costumes and approached us to have a quick chat.

"I've never been part of a community of this nature before. This is nice… I wish they'd stop teasing me so much, though…"

For some reason, Darkness was a target for a lot of teasing.

As she was anonymous online, Darkness didn't have any inhibitions with her masochistic nature.

She didn't expect to encounter any of the players who witnessed her freak show displays and went all out.

Now she is showing some regret as those who recognized her started teasing Darkness about her numerous antics online.

They also teased Megumin for her chuuni ways and irrational love for the inefficient explosion magic skill tree.

And worst of all…

"Eeek?! Is that Scum-zuma?! Noooo! Stay away from me!"

I also had a bit of a reputation online, as well.

"I see. Those girls view me as some kind of pervert, huh? Very well. If that's what they want, I will use [Steal] on them in real life, too."

"If Kazuma does that, he will spend the night in a jail cell."

Megumin said as she pulled me away from a couple of girls who shrieked way too loudly once they recognized me.

"Ah, it seems like there is already a line for the performance forming. Shall we start lining up as well?"

After peeking her head around and assessing the area, Darkness said this.

"Darkness's height is really convenient for crowded places like this. Good job, Darkness."

"Darkness's height is really enviable. And she is as wide as she is tall."

"What do you mean by 'wide'?!"

Megumin and I followed the traffic of people heading towards the stage area as Darkness kept on saying: 'Take that back!'.

As we lined up, I kept a wary eye for the goons Aqua coerced for her not-so secret scheme.

Anyone wearing Aqua fan merchandise is obviously a part of the goon squad.

I don't know what exactly I'd do if any of Aqua's little minions started to cause a commotion, or if I'd even feel inclined to do anything at all.

Technically, I should side with my employer.

But…

If I had to choose between Aqua and Eris, the choice is obvious.

"Darkness! As a fellow Eris fan, join me in my cause!"

I extended my hand out to Darkness, my fellow comrade!

"Hm? What is it, Kazuma? Going to make jokes about my height again? I'll have Kazuma know that my height and build is the average for girls my age, at least in my homeland. In my eyes, it is the people of Japan who are strange for being so short…"

"So you're insecure about that, huh? Does Darkness have a complex or something? I'm sorry if I triggered Darkness. Rather, nevermind that. Doesn't Darkness remember about Aqua scheming against Eris?"

"I do remember that. Ah… Sounds nice. I'm jealous."

"Just drop the tired schtick for once! Darkness was going on about being an 'O.G.' Eris fan or whatever earlier! It's time to prove that now!"

Her eyes shifted into a serious look. She nodded her head and said,

"Alright, Kazuma. You convinced me. Lead the way… No, before that, where has Megumin gone to?"

I looked beside me where Megumin was supposed to be.

"That's strange. I was holding her hand earlier… Wait, I'm still holding her hand now! I can feel it!"

"Actually, that's my hand Kazuma is holding…"

"Then why didn't you say anything?!"

I angrily retorted to the blushing Darkness.

Once I let go of her hand, she said,

"I… I was worried that Kazuma would get lost! There's no strange meaning behind it!"

I'm not going out of my way to unlock the harem route, so I have no interest in setting up these cliched flags.

Then again, this sort of passive, wishy-washy approach is the winning formula of harem protagonists.

"Now is not the time to be setting off any flags with this amazon ojou-sama! And I'm sure Megumin can take care of herself. We can just pick her up at the lost child center afterwards. For now, we have to deal with Aqua's goons!"

"Megumin would kill you if she heard that. No, before she does, I'll kill you for that 'amazon' comment…!"

I hastily explained my plan of attack to Darkness, who reluctantly accepted it. We moved through the crowd towards the nearest goon.

His goon status was made apparent by the embarrassing 'I WUV AQUA-CHAN~!' headband he was wearing.

I signalled to Darkness. She sighed before hesitantly placing her hand on the goon's shoulder.

"Owww! That hurts! This pain is… I've never felt this pain before!"

He screamed out in primal anguish as Darkness squeezed his shoulder.

"I'm… I'm not even grabbing you that hard! Don't exaggerate!"

Darkness provided all these excuses as her poor victim almost fell to his knees, struggling to withstand the pain.

"What… What do you two want? I'll give you whatever you want just tell this man to… Eh, it's a woman? Gahhh! Why'd you squeeze harder?!"

"Just die already! Kazuma, let me kill this guy! We can interrogate another goon!"

I made Darkness ease up on the torture as I worked on interrogating this guy.

"E-Eh?! How did you know about the plan?! Only the special black ops force of the Aqua-chan fan club knows about the plan!"

Are you sure this is still just a fan club?

"Just tell us what you know already. If you think this girl is bad, you haven't seen what I'm capable of yet."

"Eeeek! What's with that scary look! OK, OK, I'll tell you whatever you want!"

What kind of face was I making?

"You know, for part of this so-called special black ops force, this guy sure gave up easily. I would have resisted more."

Darkness criticized this poor guy even as we could hear cracking noises come out from his shoulder.

"Oh, no. I'm not part of the special black ops force. A black ops force member wouldn't have been caught by the enemy so easily…"

Is this guy just messing with us or what?

Eventually, we managed to get the details of the secret plan out of him.

"..." x 2.

"Why… Why are you two looking at me like that? Aqua-chan came up with the plan herself!"

"We knew that without you telling us."

This plan was beyond stupid.

It involved the goons smuggling in a pocketful of throwing darts through the security checkpoint by the entrance.

Yes, darts.

The ones used for parlor games.

"The plan is to have all of us throw darts at Eris and hopefully one of the darts will poke her breast pads, making them pop and exposing her for what she is… A liar! Eris pads her chest! Eris pads her chest!"

"Idiots! What an idiot you all are! Do you lot even know how breast pads work?! You actually think they'll go 'pop' like balloons or something?! Moreover, this isn't just a prank anymore! This is an actual crime!"

For now, I confiscated all the darts this guy had on him.

By the time Eris came on stage, Darkness and I located all the goons and confiscated their darts.

"Excuse me. Can I look at those things you two have in your hands, please?"

"..."

Even though we were doing a good deed, security caught us in possession of all these suspicious items.

 **Part 8**

"We don't really have a detention center or anything, so for now I'll keep an eye on you two in the lost children center."

We were led to a room with foam mats covering the floor. There were toys scattered all over the matted floor and the chairs lined along the walls were of the plastic, brightly colored, kiddie variety.

The security guard who escorted us here looked at the chairs and then at Darkness.

"We'll get another chair for you, ma'am."

"I… I don't really need one…"

Sulking at the implication, Darkness sat on the foam mats while crossing her legs.

As I didn't really want to sit on the kiddie chairs either, I sat next to Darkness.

I called Cecily-san to come vouch for us, but since Aqua is still probably in the middle of a performance, that could take a while.

For now, we had to wait patiently.

"Hmm… That's strange… Where did that child run off to? She was just here… Oh, there she is!"

The security guard said this as he looked around the room.

He stood up and headed to an open toy box. Bending down to his knee, he reached inside.

To our surprise, he pulled out a blushing Megumin, lifting her by the armpits.

"..." x 2.

What's she doing here?

...Don't tell me she actually got lost and ended up here?

"What were you doing hiding in that box, little one? Are the newcomers making you feel shy? Don't mind them. Why don't you play with those toys?"

"O-OK, mister…"

"!" x 2.

When the guard let her down, Megumin crawled on the mat on her hands and knees and grabbed one of the dolls lying on the floor.

She took another doll and a surreal sight unfolded before our eyes.

"H… Hey, Yukiko-chan why… why don't we go to the mall right now?"

"That's, um… That's a splendid idea, N-Nagisa-chan... Let's go to the mall… Haha… Ha…"

Megumin started playing with the dolls, all while blushing hard and avoiding our gazes.

Like a contented father, the security guard smiled and patted Megumin on the head before he went back to watching us sternly.

"Pfffffft!"

"Oi! What are you laughing at!"

"S… Sorry…"

Darkness couldn't control her laughter and was yelled at by the guard.

Leaning towards me, Darkness whispered,

"Why is Megumin acting like that, Kazuma? Surely there must be a good reason… Or maybe she developed similar _tastes_ to my own?"

"That would be terrible if she did."

We continued to observe Megumin as she played with the dolls.

"Oh, no! Yukiko! What's happening to your eyes?! They're turning red… And they're glowing! Is Yukiko sick?!"

Suddenly Megumin's doll play underwent a drastic tone shift.

"Nagisa-chan… I've never told you this before, but I am actually a descendant of an ancient line of vampires that is so powerful and evil, they are shunned by other vampire clans…"

"I see, Yukiko-chan… If Yukiko-chan is telling me the truth, then…"

"...! Nagisa-chan! That silver cross is…!"

"Yukiko-chan… I've never told you this before, but I am actually a vampire hunter selected and trained by the church from a young age. My purpose in life is to hunt vampires such as yourself!"

"Nagisa-chan!"

"Yukiko-chan!"

"Pffffffft!" x 2.

"?!"

This time both Darkness and I couldn't control our laughter.

Megumin just noticed what she had done. She dropped the dolls and blushed when she saw us laughing.

Since she probably never played with proper dolls as a child, Megumin got caught up in the moment and let her inner-child run free.

Really, that's quite cute!

"Oi! You two, what's so funny!"

"S… Sorry…"

The security guard yelled at the both of us this time.

…

…

"It really is quite terrible. We received an anonymous tip that some of those unruly Eris fans were planning to attack Aqua using those confiscated items. I sent Kazuma-kun here to stop those Eris fans before they did something terrible…"

"Next time that happens, please notify the security team or better yet, contact the police. We'll keep an eye out for those Eris fans for the duration of the convention."

"Oh, will you? How reliable!"

Cecily-san shifted the blame away from the real criminals.

Instead of producing idols, she should run a crime syndicate.

"Ah! Mister… That's my mommy's friend! I should go with her!"

Megumin said with a robotic voice that belongs to one not accustomed to lying, as she pointed to Cecily-san.

Cecily-san looked at me questioningly. She knows Megumin from the pictures Aqua showed her.

For some reason, Cecily-san said something about me being 'a man of culture' and she started looking at me with respect after that.

After I nodded to Cecily-san, she signed some paperwork to 'claim' the 'lost child'. With that done, we were all finally released from our prison.

"So… Megumin, care to explain what all that was about?"

Darkness leered at Megumin who had just sighed in relief once we stepped outside the lost child center.

"...I was separated from you guys for a bit, so out of frustration I yelled: 'Kazuma, if I find out you ditched me… I'll explode this whole building!' Unfortunately for me, a security guard heard that last part. They took me aside for questioning and there was talk of police getting involved. In a panic, I pretended I was a lost child. Since that got rid of their suspicion I continued to play the part… Ugh…"

"Pfffffffffft!" x 3.

"Don't… Don't laugh…!"

This time, Cecily-san joined our laughter.

And when we joined up with Aqua…

"Pffffffffft! Bwahahahaha! Hahahaha…! Megumin, that's way too funny!"

She joined in the laughter as well.

 **Part 9**

With the performances concluded there were two hours or so left before the convention hall closed.

We left early to avoid the throng of people trying to exit the building as we had seen most of the attractions already.

We had dinner at a family restaurant, a meal for which Cecily-san, acting like a working adult for the first time since I've known her, paid for the bill.

"Uehehe… Eat up, Megu-chan~ What a darling, ehehe… Well, don't eat too much or you might grow bigger… Your onee-chan wouldn't want that~!"

Nevermind, she clearly has some kind of ulterior motive.

We settled into our hotel room after dinner. Aqua had just finished performing, so we let her use the bath first.

"The bath is big enough for one more person. Would any of you two… I mean, would Megumin want to bathe with me?"

"Why did Aqua pause and then skip over me?"

"W-Well…"

I think you already know the answer to that, Darkness.

After everyone finished their baths, we laid down on our beds and went on our phones.

Well, except for Megumin, who doesn't own a phone. She read a book while we browsed social media to check out the public's reaction to the convention.

"Look at this, Kazuma! A lot of people liked my performance! This has never happened after a big event before! Usually people get angry and complain about something!"

"Good things tend to happen if you don't order your fans to throw darts at a rival idol."

"Is Kazuma still mad about that? Why don't you cry about it on social media, like all these haters? OK, now it's time to log on to my alternate accounts and roast the people who _did_ have something bad to say about me…"

Are all famous people this petty?

Or maybe Aqua is a special kind of breed...

"Everyone is having fun on their phones… I feel left out."

Megumin said as she sighed and closed her book.

Maybe I should buy Megumin a phone one of these days. That'd make for a great gift.

I'll get her a dolly too.

We soon went to bed after everyone brushed their teeth.

"Remember, you two- no lewd stuff tonight! I'll… I'll be watching you!"

Do you want something to happen or what?

"Don't worry, we won't give Darkness any free shows."

"I wasn't expecting anything!"

Once we were settled into our beds, Aqua said,

"Say, aren't we supposed to play a bunch of games since this is a sleepover? Things like the king's game, or spin the bottle."

"Those are some problematic games you listed out."

We played the typical cliched games you usually play in a sleepover. After a while, though, the structure and pretense of 'games' soon broke down into late-night, idle chatter that hopped from topic to topic.

Even though we had already brushed out teeth, we finished off the rest of the snacks and juice and rode a sugar high until it was morning.

Soon, we could hear the birds chirping outside.

"Well, I guess it's time for us to sleep."

Darkness said as she lifted up her blankets and went under them.

"Ahhh~ Laying down feels nice…"

She stretched herself, and the vaguely lewd shape of her body squirmed and contorted underneath the blanket.

"Today was fun, wasn't it?"

Megumin said blearily as she yawned and started to fall asleep.

I watched Megumin and Darkness contently laying on the bed together.

Meanwhile, beside me…

"What the hell is this Anon saying?! I'm gonna dox this guy!"

Go to sleep already, Aqua.


	5. Young Adult period

**God's Blessing on this IRL World!**

 **Editing and Proofreading: LordVTP and Marv**

 **Chapter 5: Young Adult period**

 **Part 1**

After the convention, things calmed down and returned to the usual routine.

In this way, time passed by until Megumin's second year graduation crept up on me.

It was her last summer as a high school student.

After that month of vacation, she would become a third year student.

"Kazuma is still asleep? Doesn't he realize it's the first day of summer break? This is the last proper summer break I will have in my life. Kazuma expects me to become a corporate slave O.L. in the future and provide for him while he NEETs out at home, so please have some consideration and make pleasant, youthful memories with me while I still can…"

It was a Friday, and with the weekend off, I planned to collapse into a coma.

That was when Megumin barged into my room, wearing a bathing suit.

"No, I don't remember burdening Megumin with such heavy expectations. What do you actually think of me? Anyways, it's already summer break for you high schoolers, huh?"

"Stop looking so nostalgic. Kazuma was just a highschooler not too long ago. Aside from that, did Kazuma really not know that my summer break has already started? He bought this swimsuit for me just yesterday, so that can't be it."

"I didn't buy that because it was summer. I wanted Megumin to wear that during our private time."

I ignored her hostile look as my eyes wandered down to the swimsuit I spent a lot of effort picking out.

It was a simple, black two piece that had a balance of modesty and sex appeal.

"Hm, hm. Good job, me. I made an excellent choice."

"I don't like the way Kazuma is looking at me. I know, I'll wear this."

She grabbed one of my spare hoodies and wore it over the swimsuit.

"Hnnnnng!"

"...Eh?! Kazuma got more excited?! How is that so?! I already covered myself up!"

"Foolish, naive Megumin! To still not know how the heart of a man works, you have much to learn! Not only is Megumin pulling off the 'his shirt' look, but the hoodie that is too big for her small frame is so moe, it's almost unbearable! With only the upper half properly clothed, doesn't Megumin realize that this emphasizes her naked legs?! In the context of wearing a swimsuit, it's only natural to show bare legs, but by putting on the hoodie, it looks like Megumin is walking around without any pants on! So sexy! So moe! And we're also factoring in the fact that there is a swimsuit underneath! Is Megumin trying to tease me or is she acting shy?! The duplicity! The contrast! This is truly the perfect combi… Ah, Megumin has already ran off."

While I was in the middle of passionately ranting, I didn't notice her leave my room.

 **Part 2**

"Beach! Beach! Beach! Hey, nii-chan, they're selling yakisoba and fried squid here!"

"Hehehe… A day at the beach with Megu-nee~! A day at the beach with Megu-nee~! A day at the beach with Megu-neeee~! … Eh?! Komekko, where are you pulling me?! I don't give a damn about the yakisoba! Noooo! I'll miss the wardrobe malfunction with Megu-nee!"

I tossed a wad of yen to Komekko who dragged the nosy, still Megumin obsessed, Kazuto along with her.

When will he grow out of this annoying phase?

I wish he'd find some other girl to crush on.

"Tch! That little bugger just had to come along."

"How can Kazuma talk about his little brother that way? Don't be mean."

"Megumin just secretly likes it when that twerp showers her with praises and treats her like an unobtainable older woman."

"If Kazuma gets it, then let me have this rare treatment that I will probably never have again in my life."

She didn't even try to deny it.

We laid out a large blanket on the sand and set up a parasol.

Once we sat down, Megumin opened the picnic basket she brought with her.

"Geez, you gave Komekko money even though we already brought all this food…"

She must have known that Komekko would want to try out all the tempting beach stall food.

"I foresaw this and brought extra cash with me."

"Kazuma should be saving that for his college tuition."

"I already have a fair amount saved up. For the universities I'm aiming for, I reckon I'd spend about 1,000,000 yen in tuition and other academic expenses per year. By the time the examinations come up, I will have about 5,000,000 yen from my full-time work with Aqua, without accounting for taxes. More or less, the tuition is paid for, and I can switch over from full-time to part-time shifts to take care of other expenses, or if I need to dip into my savings…"

"I didn't ask Kazuma to elaborate to that extent."

Lately, my thoughts revolved around tuition, expenses and the future… All sorts of adult matters.

Speaking of which...

 _Adult matters._

"Why is Kazuma staring at me?"

Because I want to eat you up.

In terms of physical affection, I had nothing to complain about.

We'd regularly attend to each other's needs as healthy boys and girls in a relationship would.

But, there is still the matter of _that_.

It had been a while since we spent the night at that hotel where Megumin gave me the 'OK' to go all the way with her.

Since then, the subject of _that_ hadn't come up at all.

I looked at Megumin now. Even though it was summer there was a slight chill in the air and the wind was strong.

She opted to wear the hoodie over her bathing suit to protect herself from the chill.

I glanced at her slim, exposed legs.

She really did look half naked!

"I see. People always say that one starts to lose desire for their partner after a year into the relationship. Cleary, they are wrong."

"What is Kazuma saying? Hey! Where are you touching?! ...Not in public, OK?"

"Gah! I knew it! I left Megu-nee with nii-san for only a little bit and he's already sexually harassing her! Komekko, hold my yakisoba for me!"

Kazuto piled the yakisoba he had been enjoying on top of the tray Komekko was carrying. It seems she bought enough for everyone.

No, she's probably intending to eat all that by herself.

…

…

Megumin and I relaxed under the parasol while Kazuto and Komekko made sand castles a few ways off.

Even though Kazuto claimed: 'I'll guard Megu-nee for the duration of this trip!', he couldn't control his little kid instincts and went ahead to play on the beach.

"..."

Megumin stared longingly at the two children playing.

I almost forgot that this one also possessed little kid instincts. I sighed and said,

"Hey, didn't those two go a bit too far off? Megumin, why don't you go and watch them closely. They might decide to run off if someone isn't following them. I'll stay here and watch our stuff."

"C-Can I really?! I mean… Ahem, as a responsible young woman who is already in her third year of high school, I suppose it's my responsibility."

Just go already, you tsundere.

She excitedly sprinted over to the kids and joined their efforts. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I watched the heartwarming scene.

Megumin would kill me if she found out, but I took a picture to preserve the image.

An ice cream vendor came by, pushing his trolley through the sand with practiced ease. I bought a popsicle for myself.

The weather was cool but the sun was still out, a perfect day for frozen treats.

There weren't a lot of opportunities for me to relax as I spent my days either working or studying. When days like this come around, I should take full advantage and unwind.

I did just that, enjoying my popsicle, looking over at Megumin and the little ones enjoying themselves, and watching the gentle, bright blue waves of the sea water.

There's nothing that calms the soul more than immersing with mother nature...

"Ah, what a perfect day. Oh, wait a minute, there's a double EXP promotion today. I should check that out."

Once I got bored of mother nature, I took out my smartphone and started playing a mobile RPG.

 **Part 3**

"Doesn't it feel like summer went by way too fast? And what happened to all the things we were supposed to do? Summer festivals, going on trips, test of courage… I feel like I wasted my youth away."

Megumin said as she laid on my bed, reading a book.

Three weeks had passed and Megumin only had one more week left of summer vacation.

I had air conditioning in my room, which was a godsend as the weather was scorching hot outside.

"Megumin wasn't interested in the festival since she didn't want to spend money. As for trips, we already went to those beaches, didn't we? We would have gone on more but the weather got way too hot. And as for the test of courage… What are you, a kid?"

"I heard from classmates that doing the test of courage during summer is very fashionable."

"There's always that one popular summer trend that changes every year, don't fall for the hype. Last year, all the bimbos in my class were going on about how 'eating shaved ice during summer is a must'. And now the trendy thing to do is the test of courage? What's next, cicada catching?"

Seeing as Megumin wouldn't leave me alone for a while, I closed the reference book I was studying.

Swivelling on my computer chair, I faced Megumin, who was on my bed, laying on her stomach.

"At the very least, I'd like to see a fireworks show."

"Hm… We could buy some fireworks…"

"Do we really need to spend money? Why does everything revolve around money? What a rotten society we live in."

"We could have watched one for free if we attended the summer festival a week ago, but Megumin was too stingy."

"Kazuma is making me out like a total cheapskate but he's the one who's always bitching about income taxes."

"Do we really need to pay taxes? Why does everything revolve around taxes? What a rotten society we live in."

"Kazuma is a total hypocrite."

I convinced Megumin to let me buy fireworks, just some simple sparkler types, and took them out to my front yard.

We crouched in front of a bucket filled with water in case there was a mishap, watching the sizzling flares of the sparklers.

"This is a bit underwhelming."

"If Megumin wants, I can buy ones with a bit more power."

"I suppose we can't avoid necessary expenses. Very well."

This explosion maniac actually considers pyrotechnics a necessary expense.

I jogged to the closest store and bought some real fireworks.

When I came back, Megumin was still crouched before the water bucket, staring idly at the pitiful flares of the sparklers.

She shook with anticipation as I set up the fireworks, constantly peering over my shoulder to watch the procedure.

"I'm surprised Kazuma knows what to do. He didn't have much opportunity to do things like playing with fireworks when he was a kid, right?"

"I see. Megumin is saying that I didn't have any friends growing up, so it's weird that I'm familiar with this exclusively normie procedure. Please don't underestimate me."

Actually, that's a lie. I consulted with Google-sensei as I was waiting for the store clerk to bag my purchase.

Once I had the fireworks lined up, I handed a lighter to Megumin.

"Would you do the honors?"

"Yeah!"

Megumin dashed from one end of the line to the other, lighting them as she passed.

"I am Megumin! One who wields explosion… Ah, wait, I'm not done with my…! Ah…!"

Before she could finish her speech, the fireworks shot up in the sky.

The flares crackled upon their ascent before bursting into branching explosions of light.

Megumin stopped mid-speech as she gazed into the illuminated sky.

I drew closer and we held hands.

"Oi! What's with all the noise! Keep it down!"

"S-Sorry!" x 2.

We had to apologize to the neighbors for making a racket.

Summer vacation ended one week later.

Megumin entered her third year of high school.

 **Part 4**

With Megumin in her senior year, she was studying hard for her own university entrance exams.

Combined with my own tight schedule, our dating and private times decreased all the more.

In our free time, we passionately indulged in each other to refresh our exhausted states.

In this way, several months passed until a certain important event...

"Hey, isn't Megu-nee's birthday coming up? It's already November."

Kazuto slammed my door open and barged in, declaring this.

I was busy studying. Uni examination would start in a few months on January.

"You self-important brat, didn't I tell you to knock? What if that same Megu-nee you love so much had snuck over and was 'playing' with me here? I bet you'd regret barging in and being NTR'd in such a cruel manner."

"Scumbag! Nii-san is a scumbag to say those crude things! I can't believe a guy like you is dating Megu-nee! You don't deserve her! ...Besides, I've already seen it. Thank you for the show."

Saying I didn't deserve Megumin...

That was true, but I didn't need this annoying brat to tell me that.

...Wait, what was that at the end there?

"As for Megumin's birthday, I already bought a present for her. I think it's something she'd like."

"Oh! Nii-san has a lot of money saved up, so he probably bought a luxurious present for Megu-nee!"

I was about to take out a gift box I had been storing under my bed when Kazuto said this.

In reply, I could only stare at him silently.

"..."

"...Don't tell me nii-san bought some cheap thing?"

"Anyways, your nii-san is studying. Go away already."

"Why did nii-san put the box away?! I'm right, aren't I?! Hey, show me this cheap garbage you bought!"

I considered Megumin's frugal nature when buying this gift.

Seeing Kazuto's cold stare, I wondered if I made a mistake.

"Please return this and buy something a bit more luxurious, nii-san."

"Maybe it's Kazuto who is misunderstanding? Megumin is not the type of girl to fall for such flashy gifts."

"No, it's nii-san who is misunderstanding! If you give her _that_ , even someone like Megu-nee will be offended!"

Megumin sometimes complained about itches on her back she couldn't reach.

This was the consequence of having short arms.

Keeping this in mind, I bought her a back scratcher.

Was it really that bad of a gift?

"Fine, I'll buy something a bit more expensive, but I'll buy it a few days before Megumin's birthday. That way, if she doesn't like it, I can get a full refund from the store..."

"You really don't deserve Megu-nee!"

 **Part 5**

Upon the insistence of the birthday girl herself, the party was set up as a private affair between close friends and family.

She insisted as such but even without such a condition, there wasn't anyone Megumin could invite outside of those two groups.

The party was held at my home considering how the alternative, Megumin's place, was surely out of the question.

Due to Megumin's restrictions, the invitees included my family, Megumin's family and then our friends, Darkness and Aqua.

There was also a surprise guest.

"For… For inviting me to this splendid occasion… Thank you, Megumin!"

"You already said that. Just calm down already. And there wasn't any need for Yunyun to bring so much gifts and flowers…"

That girl who kept following Megumin around at the convention, Yunyun.

I wasn't sure if Yunyun was her real name, or if that was a nickname based on her online handle.

I didn't want to startle this child who was already overwhelmed by the setting, though, and kept those curiosities to myself.

"Happy birthday, Megumin! Here's your gift, a signed album from yours truly~!"

"And here's Megumin's present from me. I bought this dress from my recent trip to Paris."

How many 'soul searching' trips is this rich girl going to take?

After Megumin accepted Aqua and Darkness's presents, Yuiyui-san placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"Happy birthday, my eldest daughter. This would be your _seventeenth_ birthday, is that right? Ah, the age of _seventeen_ , the age when one becomes an _adult_. I hope that this daughter of mine continues to _mature_ from now on."

"You're really laying it thick, mother."

Once everyone gave their gifts all the eyes on the room landed on me.

"What, just because I'm the boyfriend everyone is expecting some kind of grand reveal from me? What is up with this pressure?"

As I said this, Kazuto, who was wearing a three-piece suit for some reason, stomped his foot in protest and said,

"If nii-san plans on giving Megu-nee that backscratcher, I'll kill you!"

Hearing this, Megumin squirmed and reached behind her back, trying to scratch an unreachable spot.

"Kazuma got me a back scratcher? What a thoughtful gift! Please give it to me now. I could really use it."

"Value yourself a little more, Megu-nee!"

To help the struggling Megumin out, I went behind her and gently scratched her back.

As she sighed in relief, I pulled a wrapped box out of my pocket.

I slipped my arm around her waist and held the box out in front of her.

"Here, Megumin's gift."

She stared at it for a second, before taking it and rattling the contents by her ear.

"This is…! I don't know exactly what's inside but I calculate that the contents are worth around 22,324 yen!"

"How did Megumin calculate that?! And you even factored in the store's promotion at the time?! Nevermind, just open it!"

She hesitated and kept on mumbling about expenses.

Getting impatient from watching this, Aqua snatched the box away and unwrapped it.

"Give me that! Knowing Megumin, this will take forever! Now let's see what this is! Wait, isn't this the newest model! So cool!"

This selfish one just wanted the joy of opening the present to herself.

I snatched the now unwrapped box and placed it on Megumin's hands again.

"Here, it's a smartphone. It's quite expensive, but Megumin can't argue about how it's not practical, or whatever. You can't live in this modern world without a smartphone, so please use it from now on."

"I… I beg to differ! If I need to make a call, I only need to visit the oba-san who runs the sweets store across the street. In exchange for keeping her company when she gets lonely, she lets me use her home phone to make calls."

"Well, now the tsundere Megumin can visit that oba-san without using weird pretenses. Just accept the gift already."

"But…!"

As Megumin and I squabbled, Aqua snatched the phone again and flipped it open. She took out her own phone and activated the infrared feature.

"There, now Megumin has my address! Here, Darkness, put yours in, too."

"Very well, but please keep in mind that I can't receive any mails next week as I'm taking a trip to Jakarta…"

"Me… Me too! Megumin, please take my phone number!"

Yunyun held out her phone while bowing repeatedly.

"Damn it! If only I had a phone, I could have Megu-nee's number!"

As Kazuto wailed in agony, Komekko walked over to her sister and took out something from her pocket.

"Here, nee-chan. Let's also exchange numbers."

"...! Komekko, where did you get that phone?"

"Unlike the unresourceful nee-chan, I have my methods to get what I want."

"I… I see…"

This little girl will surely become someone remarkable.

…

…

"They finally left. There wasn't a lot of mess, but this is still quite the cleaning effort."

Megumin said as she threw away disposable cutlery and foam cups into a garbage bag I was holding.

"That's why it's more convenient to book a restaurant, but Megumin once again took the cheaper and more annoying option."

The both of us were taking care of the after party clean up. The guests went home while my family went off to who knows where.

This was a clear attempt to give me 'alone time' with Megumin.

But, the responsible Megumin couldn't read the atmosphere.

She was only interested in the cleanup effort.

"Megumin would make a terrible wife."

"How?! Aren't I doing well with these chores?! Don't lie!"

"Doing chores is not all a good wife does. There's also this and that, and other sorts of things…"

"Even though birthdays are the rare occasions when the celebrant can be willful, it's Kazuma who's being selfish here."

She made a good point.

I kept quiet and focused on the clean up.

Once the chore was done, Megumin heaved a sigh as she collapsed on the couch. I joined her, equally relieved to have a break.

"...If we have spare funds, I might consider booking a restaurant next time we do this, like Kazuma suggested."

Even the frugal Megumin said this after the exhausting clean up effort.

"It wouldn't have been so hard if we had help, but our mothers are plotting something stupid."

"Hm… Well, it's not like I don't understand their intentions. Now that I turned 17, those meddlesome mothers of ours will be more aggressive with their scheming."

Yes, for some reason, those two would rather I impregnate Megumin ASAP.

Even though they are the adults, they don't possess any sense of responsibility or common sense.

"Certainly, things like marriage and making babies is too much for us right now."

Megumin, ever the sensible one, didn't get carried away along with our mothers' unreasonable fantasies.

"But… While making babies and such is out of the question…"

!

"...Eh?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Oi. You can't just say something like that and leave me hanging!"

"Let's see… Maybe, after Kazuma passes his university examinations, I'll have to give him a reward?"

"...?!"

Later on that night, after Megumin left, I made sure to do some extra reviewing.

 **Part 6**

The tests came around in January. I felt that I performed with my best effort.

As a third year, it was also Megumin's turn to take on the examinations.

To think she'd take the exams at the same time as I would… What a surreal feeling.

"OK, I get that Kazuma is worried about that… By why come to us?"

The exams were done with, but...

Until the results came out on March, I also worried about Megumin's vague promise. I consulted Darkness and Aqua about my concerns.

I asked them to meet me at a cafe once we were all free from our obligations. Meaning, Aqua and I had the day off while Darkness just got back from fooling around in a foreign country.

This rich girl… I'll make sure to foot her with the bill.

"I'm asking Aqua and Darkness for advice since the both of you are clearly experienced. The idol who surely gives out 'favors' to sponsors behind the scenes, and the perverted Darkness who is an international slut with gigolos stationed in every continent… Please take care of me."

"What kind of terrible image does Kazuma have of idols?! I'm a purehearted idol who has never known the touch of a man! I'm not a behind-the-scenes slut like Eris!"

Can I have access to the behind-the-scenes footage?

"Just what does Kazuma think my constant travelling is for?! I'm not going around the world and sleeping around with multiple partners! I'm actually going on business trips for my father's company, you know?!"

Oh, so they were business trips?

And here I thought Darkness was just fooling around.

"I see. For having a minor misunderstanding, please forgive me."

"No, there's nothing minor about that misunderstanding at all. Rather than calling it a misunderstanding, it's clear that Kazuma has a certain image of us."

Darkness said while self-consciously covering her chest.

"Well, then. Since the both of you are clueless virgins who haven't even kissed or held hands with anyone, that means I have no more use for you two. Darkness, please pay for the bill."

"Wait, even though we're all virgins here I'm sure we can still think of something! After all, it's not like we're not knowledgeable about the matter despite not having any experience."

"Yes, I'm sure Darkness is knowledgeable, indeed."

"Am I being praised or insulted?!"

Obviously it's the latter.

"Hmm… When it comes to adult matters, shouldn't we ask an adult? Maybe we should ask Cecily."

That Cecily-san would have made a good candidate if she didn't have a certain peculiar taste.

If I asked her for sex advice regarding Megumin, instead of helping me, she might actually try to sabotage me in some way.

That said, Megumin was now considerably outside of her target age range…

"OK, I'm calling her now!"

"...Eh?"

The impulsive Aqua who never spared a moment's thought before doing something, quickly dialed Cecily-san's number.

Then, with only a short exchange of words, Cecily-san agreed to meet up with us at the cafe.

"I was just finishing up a meeting at another cafe nearby. So, what did Aqua-chan call me here for?"

As she was a foreigner with exotic looks, like Darkness, and was quite a beauty herself, Cecily-san received a lot of attention as she walked in.

"Well, get this! Since we were all virgins, we thought that we could ask love advice from the experienced adult, Cecily-san!"

Aqua was blunt as usual but at least she had enough tact not to say something like, 'Kazuma needs your advice because he wants to have sex with Megumin'.

"...I guess I should be honored that you thought about me, but I've only done it a few times when I was in college, you know? After discovering my true inner self since then, I haven't had that kind of relationship with a man ever since."

For having just declared herself sexually inactive, what was with that look of arrogance?

"Eh? But I thought that Cecily-san often gives out 'favors' to sponsors behind the scenes to ensure that I get funding as an idol?"

"I think you have a mistaken idea about what producers do, Aqua-chan."

Rather than producers, that kind of fantasy was usually applied to idols, right?

And Aqua was calling me out earlier, but she seemed to have some misunderstandings herself.

"Hm… Well, even with my limited experience, I can give you guys some pointers, but maybe we should go somewhere a bit more… private?"

This seemed a bit dangerous, so I declined the offer.

"W-Well…"

On the other hand, Darkness seemed a little bit interested.

 **Part 7**

As expected of Megumin, she passed her exams and was accepted into her first school of choice.

How admirable.

In my case, I was a nervous wreck during the waiting period.

I couldn't handle the shame of failing the second time around.

So I felt the pressure.

And when the day came…

"Kazuma, please relax. If you want I can check the results for you."

"Oh, would Megumin do that? Very well, I'll wait over there."

"Even though I offered, could Kazuma at least try to pretend that he isn't a complete coward?"

Megumin had those cruel words for me as she went over to a bulletin board.

It was already weird enough that I was applying for university at the same time as Megumin. If I failed now, it would mean Megumin became a university student before I did.

After several minutes of the diminutive Megumin trying to look over the taller bodies around her…

She finally came back with the results.

"I'm sorry, Kazuma…"

"...!"

She came back saying those words, with her head lowered.

Saying sorry while looking like that…

So… I failed?

"I'm too short and couldn't see the results. You'll have to come check yourself."

"Damn it! I'll do it myself!"

It was my fault for relying on this shorty.

As I glanced around the board, Megumin held my sweaty hand in support.

"...!"

It was right there, my number… I made it!

It took all I had not to cry out in sheer joy.

After all, there were others in here who did not pass. Showing such a tactless show of emotion is…

"You did it, Kazuma! I'm so proud of you! Geez… I'm so happy right now! Here, let me give you a big kiss! Chuuu~!"

I'm really happy, Megumin, but please have some consideration…!

"Tch! Not only did that guy get accepted, he has such a cute girlfriend, too! Go die in a hole!"

A blond delinquent said as he saw the display Megumin showed.

There's all sorts of dangerous types glaring at us already.

"Hah?! You got a problem with my man, you punk?!"

"Gack! Why is this loli strangling me?!"

…

...

Before Megumin could start picking fights, I took her to a nearby family restaurant.

"Since this is a happy occasion, let's have an extravagant meal."

"Megumin says that, but this is an ordinary family restaurant. An 'extravagant meal' would mean a three course meal that includes appetizer and dessert, and access to unlimited soda fountain refills..."

"That… That sounds extravagant, indeed!"

No, it really doesn't.

"I'm really happy, Kazuma."

This is…!

'If you pass the exams, I'll give you a reward'

The promise she gave me echoed in my head.

"Well, then, Megumin, that was a great meal, wasn't it?! So good that I couldn't help but wolf it all down! Well, then, what should we do next? Haha… Hm, well, let's see, there's a hotel across the street so maybe we should…?!"

I was unable to contain my excitement and rambled nonsensically.

"...I know what Kazuma is thinking about right now, so please tone it down! Well… Hm… It's not like I haven't been preparing my heart for this day, but…"

Don't… Don't tell me she's having second thoughts?

"Uwaa… Why is Kazuma giving me that hurt look?! You look like a pitiful abandoned puppy right now… Please stop."

I didn't know I was making such a pitiful look, but whatever it was, it seemed to have an effect…!

"I get it, I get it, but instead of going directly to a hotel just like that, let's talk about it first!"

"If you blueball me today, it's over."

"What's over?! Don't joke around about that! My stomach actually dropped when Kazuma said that while giving me a dirty look, you know?!"

After paying the bill, we headed out of the family restaurant.

We walked around the streets without a direction in mind.

"I love you, Kazuma."

She said out of nowhere, without warning.

"I don't think we've really said it before, and if we did maybe it didn't leave much of an impression since I can't recall ever saying it, or you saying it, so I just wanted to get it out there."

"I… I see."

"What about Kazuma? Do you love me?"

"I love you, Megumin."

"I see. So Kazuma is completely head over heels for me and can't stop thinking about me even in his dreams, huh?"

"How did you know about that?! I mean, that's not true at all!"

This late into our relationship, we finally confessed.

Furthermore, it ended up with us squabbling yet again.

"So, when Megumin said 'reward' last time, she meant 'that', right?"

In other words, this wasn't another blueball attempt, right? I could properly get excited without regretting it later, right?

"...I've been doing some thinking even before that day. If Kazuma remembers, I already gave him permission to go all the way when we took shelter from the rain in that hotel, but he backed out."

"I get it, so please don't bring that up again!"

Like I feared, while Megumin was actually willing to progress our relationship to the next level, but my cowardice from that time made it awkward for her to bring the subject up again.

"Well, at least now, there's an appropriate occasion when we can do this, so… This time… Let's do this properly, Kazuma."

"Megumin…"

We stared into each other's eyes, our faces drawing nearer.

"Ring! Ring!"

Of course, just as the mood was going well, we were interrupted.

Around this time, I received a phone call.

"Kazuma-kun… How were the results?"

It was my mother.

She was speaking with a bit of caution, but when I told her about the good news, she said,

"Ah! That's great! I'm so proud of you, Kazuma-kun~! Sniff, sniff… Who would have known that a miracle like this could happen…!"

Oi.

"Yeah, well, right now I'm here with Megumin, so…"

"So if it's like that… Ah, y-you know, Kazuma-kun, the whole family will be out today! And by the whole family, I mean everyone except you! We're actually going on a trip to, um, Jakarta! So, with that, Kazuma-kun, please take care of the house! You'll have the whole house to yourself!"

Before I could respond, my mother hung up.

As she was sitting beside me on the swings, Megumin heard the gist of it.

"It's pretty obvious what they're planning but… Rather than booking a hotel like Kazuma was planning, it would be more efficient to go to Kazuma's home, so…"

Even with this you're still thinking about cutting down on costs?

 **Part 8**

We took the train home, not speaking a word or meeting each other's gaze during the entire trip.

"G-Geez, Kazuma is obviously shaking! A-Are you really that nervous? Haha…"

I fumbled with the house key as I took it out of my pocket.

After a concerted effort, I managed to open the door. There was a noticeable pause as we halted by the doorstep.

"After you, Megumin."

"No, no. I will follow after Kazuma."

"As the guest, you must go in first."

"As the guest, I insist that as the host, you lead the way inside!"

It took several minutes of this before we entered.

"Hm? What's this scent? Has Kazuma's house always smelled like this? It's making me feel a bit…"

The 'smell' Megumin was referring to was most likely the result of the numerous incense candles strategically positioned throughout the house.

This was probably the work of...

"I don't think my mother would go this far, so this might be the work of the madam."

My mother was also conspiring against me, but I knew full well that the real puppet master was Yuiyui-san.

"So it's my mother's doing, huh? Wahh… Kazuma, all this smoke is making me feel lightheaded…!"

When we got to my room, I closed the door and opened the windows to filter out any lingering incense smell.

Megumin collapsed on my bed, breathing hard, while squirming around uncomfortably.

"Megumin, if we take a bath I think the smell will be washed out."

"That's a good idea. Well, then, as the one who came up with the idea, Kazuma should go first."

"It'd be more efficient if we go together."

"Geez, can't Kazuma take a hint?! I need as much time as possible to emotionally prepare myself! Now, go take that bath!"

I took Megumin up on her offer and took the bath first.

"..."

I was going to make love with Megumin…

I can't make excuses this time about rushing things or not being prepared, we've waited long enough!

That's right, as long as we're careful not to make babies and…

...Wait a second.

"Arggghh! I forgot about that!"

Somehow, in all the excitement, I forgot about the important matter of 'protection'.

If I ran to the store now, Megumin might no longer be in the mood when I came back.

I could try to sneak out while Megumin was taking a bath, or…

"..."

An alternative suddenly came to me.

M-Maybe there were some condoms in the house?

It's somewhat awkward to admit, but there were times when I'd hear strange noises coming out from my parents' room.

"Megumin, I'm done! It's your turn now!"

"OK… Um, I think I'll take my time in the bath while I keep preparing myself so… Please be patient, Kazuma. We'll definitely do it today, so please have some consideration…"

"By all means, take your time."

"I didn't expect Kazuma to be this understanding. Perhaps Kazuma was more of a gentleman as I thought?"

I went to my parents' room as Megumin took her bath.

I opened all the drawers and rummaged through the random junk my parents kept around.

Finally I saw it…

"...There's so many."

They had at least five boxes of condoms with different variations. Some were flavored while others promised 'ultra-thin quality'.

I didn't want to use any weird ones for the first time, so I picked out a generic brand and headed back to my room.

"Kazuma, I'm back…"

"Welcome… to the gates of hell!"

"What is Kazuma on about now? ...And what are those?"

I dumped the contents of the box and laid out the condoms all around me in a pile.

"You might want to check the condition of those. My mother might have poked holes on them."

"No, I don't think she'd go that far and these were my parents' collection, anyways…"

"Kazuma says that but you're already checking."

Megumin expressed her doubt as I went ahead and checked just in case.

She towelled her hair and sat beside me. I felt droplets of water spraying out as she wiped her hair.

"Megumin sure manages to look mature doing that…"

"As expected of me."

"...Mature for a loli."

"Does Kazuma want anything to happen or not?"

"I'll behave. Megumin is a beautiful young woman."

"Insincerity is worse than insulting me."

She looked a bit annoyed at my words but her features melted into a gentle one.

"In any case, Kazuma… I want you to know that I trust you, so… Please be gentle with me."

There it is!

The words every man wants to hear!

"Thank you for trusting me."

"N-No problem."

"..." x 2.

We stared awkwardly at each other, not knowing how to start.

"Well, I guess first we should do the usual…"

"Somehow, even though we've done a lot of foreplay like activities, I feel awfully shy doing it in this context!"

With apprehension bubbling in my stomach, I inched closed towards Megumin.

I held her shoulders and forced myself to look into her eyes.

"D-Don't look at me like that…!"

"L-Like what?! What am I doing that's so strange!"

"If you look at me like that, I feel like I'd want to do something hasty like get on one knee and propose!"

"R… Really?"

"Damn it! Just stop already!"

I snatched my gaze away from Megumin's lovestruck eyes.

"It'd be easier for me if Megumin acts like her usual tsundere self. Why don't you fidget around and throw things at me while I attempt to advance?"

"...I think you overstate that apparent personality trait of mine. And why is Kazuma complaining? I'm… waiting…"

Saying that, she shyly presented herself to me.

In the end, I was still panicking and making all sorts of excuses.

With my hands still on her shoulders, I gently rubbed them.

Looking into her eyes once more…

"Nn…"

We gently kissed, our lips pecking once, then separating.

"...I don't know why… But that felt like our first kiss."

"Wasn't our first kiss completely by accident?"

It happened in such a cliched manner, too.

"Yeah, but the rush of emotions was something I had never felt before… It was similar to expending all my mana to cast explosion magic!"

"You've never casted explosion magic IRL, though."

"Don't crush a girl's dreams."

We kissed again and the kisses increased in intensity until we were passionately making out.

I pushed her on the bed, maintaining the kiss as I worked to unbutton her blouse.

"Even though I've seen these boobs for a long time and they aren't big to begin with, somehow I can't get tired of looking and fondling them."

"I can't tell if Kazuma is insulting or complimenting me, and please mention the fact that my boobs have grown a little since then."

Indeed, rather than flat A-cups they have reached the bare minimum size that could qualify for B-cups.

Perhaps it was my constant caress that evoked this miracle.

With her blouse opened and her bra exposed, I messaged her chest through the cloth.

"It feels redundant to keep saying it, but Kazuma really loves boobs!"

Yes, I can't help myself.

After years of thinking 'what do they feel like?' I can't be satisfied no matter how many times I get my fill.

They even feel good...against my son…

"…"

But this time, not on your chest!

"K-Kazuma… I considered what you said last time, so…"

Hmmm, I've never seen this expression?!

"Um.. I… It's...actually a safe day...I think?"

"What's this 'I THINK?!"

"Before, Kazuma went on a passionate tirade about cumming inside…"

She looked sideways, as if coming to a decision.

"I..I think we can...risk it."

"You know I was just using that as an excuse to back out right? It's as Megumin and Darkness often say. I back out when it's time to actually do it."

"Why is Kazuma only so honest now?! And don't back out after I said something embarrassing for your sake! I took that tirade seriously all this time, so don't say something irresponsible like 'I was just joking!'"

"Fine… If I have to… Sigh."

"Why is Kazuma acting so resigned? And you actually went ahead and said 'sigh'."

"In any case, we are still beginning the foreplay stage but Megumin is already talking about cumming inside. Is Megumin actually a closet pervert?"

"I get it. I'll stop being considerate to Kazuma."

Seems like I pushed her too far.

"Ah, it's fine… I will give Megumin the virgin creampie she so desires without fail."

"Kazuma was just talking about still being in the foreplay stage and blaming me for being eager. What a hypocrite."

I deftly removed her skirt, leaving her only in panties.

I caressed her sensitive spots through the cloth, her chest and down there...

"Nnn… Kazuma…"

Even after all this time, Megumin was still sensitive.

Eventually, I pulled my shirt over my head and moved to unbuckle my pants.

Seeing this, Megumin stripped as well, removing her underwear and revealing her naked body.

We should have been used to seeing each other naked by now, but we still looked at each other shyly seeing one another's bodies.

"...Megumin really is a beauty, huh?"

"What is Kazuma using uncertain language? Of course I-I'm a beauty…"

Even the prideful Megumin couldn't call herself a beauty without stuttering.

"How should I say this… Not only am I going to lose my virginity, but I am doing it with a beautiful girl I love… I'm so very lucky!"

"I'm really grateful, but I have a feeling this conversation is one that isn't usually appropriate for 'bedroom talk'."

She said that, but I couldn't imagine what 'bedroom talk' should actually entail.

Would the unnatural dialogue in the A.V.'s I've seen as a virgin NEET count?

"I'm going to fuck you hard, baby."

"No! Just no! Don't say that again!"

As expected, lines from porn don't work.

"...I suppose rather than worrying about what's 'normal', we should just be ourselves."

"That's right. There's no reason to act superfluously in order to impress Megumin."

"Don't talk as if I'm a woman with no standards… Ah!"

Without any warning, I embraced the naked Megumin.

She stiffened for a bit before letting out a sigh.

She gently rubbed my back and giggled into my shoulder.

"Kazuma, I'm glad I met you."

"Yeah, me too."

There was probably more that we wanted to say.

But holding each other like this was enough to convey most of what we left out.

"...Unnn~ ...Uuuu~"

She started shaking, and I felt something wet drip down my shoulder.

"...Is Megumin crying?"

"No. Why would you think that?"

"Then are you drooling? I know you're excited, but I'm not really into the 'ahegao' thing, so…"

"Just get a clue, dumbass!"

When we seperated, she sniffed and rubbed at her slightly sore eyes.

"Don't say anything."

"Got it."

"Then… I'm waiting, Kazuma."

Since the start, she made a point of letting me take the lead.

'I want the guy to lead'.

So even the headstrong, tomboy Megumin had this girlish sentiment.

"Um… How does Megumin want me to do this?"

I heard girls had certain preferences and procedures in mind for how they'd like to have their first time.

For a guy, the only thing we were curious about was the sensations that come with sex… At least for the first time.

How would it feel inside? Is it actually painful for girls during their first time?

That is what males are curious about. There aren't necessarily any expectations.

"I don't really have any preferences… Just try to be gentle, please."

In the doujins I read, even if it was a girl's first time, the male character would say things like: 'I'm sorry, even though it's blah-chan's first time… My hips are moving on their own!'.

With Megumin's request in mind, I resolved not to do something so tasteless.

"Ahem. Well, then. Megumin seems ready, so…"

"Ah, Kazuma worked hard to get me ready… So maybe I should also…?"

"There's no need."

I didn't usually worry about endurance, but I didn't want to conclude our first-time together with a premature ending.

If Megumin performs the oral technique that she had developed over the years with my help as an 'explosion' sommelier, I wouldn't be able to hold it in when it comes down to do it.

"Then… If Kazuma is ready… I'm also ready."

Saying 'I'm also ready' won't put me at ease.

"Well, then…"

"Yeah…"

With Megumin laying down, I positioned myself between her open legs.

"..." x 2.

So… Do I just shove it in?

It feels weird to put it in without any remarks.

"I'm going to fuck you hard, baby."

"I told Kazuma to never say that line again! Put it in already and get it over with!"

I couldn't get over the awkwardness of sticking it in without any prelude.

Well, if that's what she wants…

"Ngh…"

With a small grunt of effort, I placed the tip along the lips and pushed in, all in one motion.

My glans made it inside and I immediately flinched from the unexpected warmth inside…

"..." x 2.

With about a quarter of my son inside Megumin, we both stared at each other blankly.

"WAHHHH! YOU REALLY DID STICK IT IN?! JUST LIKE THAT?!"

"M… MEGUMIN WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO PUT IT IN! MAKE UP YOUR MIND!"

We both panicked while staring at our connected parts.

I haven't even put it in all the way yet and we were already in this state.

"First of all, calm down, Megumin. I haven't breached your important hymen yet."

"That's right… I don't feel any different. In fact, I can barely feel anything at all…"

"Please don't say that. I will actually become impotent if you say that again. Please clarify that you can't feel anything because I've only put the tip in so far."

"Wait, now that I think about it, Kazuma didn't put on a condom yet, did he?"

"Oh, yeah. I almost forgot."

"This is already becoming a disaster!"

I got caught up with that talk about 'cumming inside' earlier and forgot about this important step.

"Well, like I said, it's a safe day, so…"

"In that case, I'll help myself then. Thank you for the meal~!"

It felt like a waste after I spent all that time looking for protection.

But, there was a big part of me that wanted to feel Megumin directly for the first time…

Just in case, I'll have to buy 'the pill' at the pharmacy later.

With that settled, I positioned myself once more…

"Wait! Wait a second! Maybe Kazuma was right, there needs to be some kind of opening remarks before we do this. It just feels weird otherwise."

"I get what Megumin is saying but don't make it seem like this is a grand-opening of a new department store. Um… Maybe we should say 'I love you' again before doing it?"

"I can't just say that phrase loaded with meaning on the spot. I need to be inspired!"

"You sounded like Aqua just now. And what occasion could be more inspiring like this?"

"Ugh, this is giving me a headache! Just put it in already!"

"Saying that again… Don't regret it this time."

Even though I did it cleanly last time, my son slipped against Megumin's entrance a few times before finally penetrating past her lips and retaining its previous occupation.

"Well, then. I'll push forward…"

"OkayK…"

We both didn't know where to look and averted our eyes from one another.

I slowly pushed my way inside.

With every push, I felt more and more of Megumin.

I was already gasping from the pleasure.

The warmth and slickness of Megumin's inner walls enveloped me.

This is bad…!

Did all girls feel like this?!

Finally, at about midway in, I met some resistance.

"Wahh… I feel it, Kazuma… Pressing against…"

Megumin felt it, too. For the first time since we connected, our eyes met.

I looked at Megumin, asking with my eyes for explicit permission.

"I… I suppose it's unavoidable!"

Don't give me such a vague answer while looking so uncertain!

I probed against the barrier, as if looking for a weak spot.

With every tap, Megumin flinched, expecting any of them to be the one that would deflower her.

"Geez! Kazuma, just take me already!"

"GAHH! Don't just suddenly scream… Ack…!"

I was shocked by Megumin's sudden screaming and my body reacted in turn…

...With my hips surging forward.

"Ah." x 2.

I felt something thick and warm drizzle down my son.

"...C-Congrats, Megumin."

"...Y-Yeah, thanks."

Somehow, we both managed to graduate from virginity.

 **Part 9**

...About ten minutes later.

"..." x 2.

Since I popped Megumin's cherry, we had both been stuck in the same position, blankly staring at each other.

"...So, did it hurt?"

It was probably too late to ask out of concern but I went ahead and said it anyways.

"It… It didn't hurt as much as I thought. It stung a bit initially and I felt numb for a while but that eventually subsided."

"I see…"

"How was it for Kazuma?"

"Well, even if you ask me that… I felt a warm liquid pouring down my son. I thought Megumin was peeing."

"How could Kazuma say that?! Don't joke around during this important moment!"

Even as she was pinned under me, Megumin flailed her limbs around.

"If Megumin is so energetic now… Um… Can I start moving?"

Even after 10 minutes of idling, my son was still raring to go.

In fact, being inside Megumin for this long, even without any movement, already felt insanely good.

"Well, I suppose it'd be natural for Kazuma to move… So, please by my guest."

Giving me that half-assed invitation… Is this really OK?

Regardless, I couldn't hold still any more.

Using my hips, I initiated a steady rhythm of deliberate, thrusting movements.

"How's this?"

"Yeah… I feel Kazuma's thing sliding in and out…"

"I didn't ask for a narration. I'm asking if Megumin is feeling good."

"I don't really know. Maybe I need to relax more. I'm too overwhelmed right now."

Her tight, warm walls were constantly squeezing around me.

Even if I paced myself or applied only slow, shallow thrusts, it felt like I could lose it at any moment.

"Kazuma you're making a funny face right now, like you just ate something sour. Are you doing this on purpose? Please take this seriously!"

"I'm not doing it on purpose! It's taking all I have not to burst out prematurely, alright?!"

"...Then why doesn't Kazuma let it out? I don't mind. You don't need to put up any pretenses around me."

If you say that so clearly… I really will, you know!

Don't tempt me!

"Megumin doesn't get it. Men worry about these kinds of things… It's a matter of pride. I want Megumin to come first before I do!"

"Look, I really don't care about that. I'm not keeping score, or anything. And I think it'll be tough for me to come since this is the first time."

I did read somewhere that most girls don't achieve climax during the first time.

The average time it takes for guys before they succumbed was around the one minute mark.

I'd regret it if my first time ended so pitifully, but I felt a sweet ache down there… Indicating that I was about ready to burst.

"I'm sorry, even though it's Megumin's first time… My hips are moving on their own!"

"Eh?"

I pressed down on top of her body, pinning her arms down.

I leaned in to kiss her.

"Nnnm!"

Our sweaty bodies slid against each other as I thrusted my hips.

Her corrugated insides parted and squeezed with every thrust. Even as I withdrew, if felt like her walls were sucking me in.

From my sensitive glans, down to my rigid shaft, I felt every sensation.

The bed creaked and Megumin's small frame slid up and down on the sheets as I pounded on her.

"Kazuma… Nnnn! You're… not gentle at all!"

Those words brought me out from my brief insanity.

"...I'm not going to apologize."

"What do you mean! Kazuma made a big deal of asking for my preferences and I only had one request! And you look so stupid flailing around on top of me you know! And that perverted, old man face you had on was just creepy!"

Was that really what it looked like?

It seemed much more romantic and intense in my head.

"Um… If Megumin doesn't like my clumsy movements, then maybe we should switch positions? If Megumin is on top, she can dictate the pace."

"Asking me to go on top and lead when it's my first time… How shameless!"

"Hey, it's my first time, too! I'm equally clueless! If you don't want to do it then I'll just keep 'flailing around' like Megumin said!"

She looked at me with a bit of disgust before relenting.

We fumbled around a bit as we switched positions.

When I pulled my son out, I noticed the sheen of blood covering it.

I felt a profound feeling when I saw that, for some reason.

"Alright. I'm on top now. What do I do, Kazuma?"

"Just move your hips… Don't rush and wait until you get into a rhy… THM?!"

"Eh? What's wrong, Kazuma? Am I doing something wrong?"

No, rather than 'wrong'...

It's too good…!

"Ugh…! Pant… Pant… You have a talent, girl! Your future in this business is bright!"

"What business?! Is Kazuma teasing me?! Is this some new form of bullying?!"

Her insides already felt insanely good. If she combines that with this technique…

I gripped the sheets as Megumin bounced her hips on my lap.

"Kazuma… Is this good? I don't really know what I'm doing but…"

"No, this is good! Keep it up! Don't stop! I beg of you!"

"Kazuma?! Oi, are you really OK?! I can only see the whites of your eyes! And is that foam coming out of your mouth?!"

I was a virgin until a few moments ago.

Please have mercy on me.

There were too many stimulants.

Watching Megumin on top of me, her small but firm breasts bouncing…

That shy, blushing, but aroused expression on her face…

And then she brings out this godly technique?!

"I can't… I'm…"

The sexual repression I've suffered as a virgin of 19 years…

"Hnnnngg! Ghkk… Nnnnnngg!"

All my muscles seized for this one action.

Spasms overtook my body for what felt like a full minute.

"Eh? What is this… Warmth… Is this?"

Megumin stopped her movements as my seed poured into her.

Her eyes fluttered and she gasped in shock.

"Hah… Hah… Hah…" x 2.

We stared at each other, gasping and panting.

After we regained our breath, she pulled out.

I saw my seed dripping out from where we were connected.

Seeing that, I couldn't help but get excited again.

"...Ready for round two?"

"Why did I fall in love with a man like you?"

I don't know why, but I'm glad you did.


	6. University period

**Chapter 6: University Period**

 **Editing and Proofreading: LordVTP and Marv**

 **Part 1**

As I was starting university, I couldn't work full-time like before.

I split my shifts with a new hire, although from what Aqua told me, the newcomer wasn't that good at his job.

"This new guy sucks, Kazuma! Oi, why don't you drop out of school and work as my assistant? I'll give you a raise, or whatever!"

"The shelf-life of idols, especially controversial ones like Aqua, is largely unpredictable. I can't base my career on your success… The more I think about it, that's a bad idea. Never bring it up again."

I was chatting with Aqua in her dressing room after a show.

"Obviously, I will have a career in this business forever. Kazuma won't screw up investing in me."

"That's straight-up a lie."

I don't have any problems with this line of work, but spending my days as Aqua's assistant didn't appeal to me very much.

"Oi, Kazuma-kun, can I see you for a second?"

I was called over by my real employer, Cecily-san.

"What is it? If you're going to ask me to sabotage a rival idol again, I'm sorry but I can't do that kind of work. I can't do that kind of work without proper reimbursement, I mean."

"That rotten attitude of yours is what makes Kazuma so valuable. But that's not what I need you to do today. It's about the event coming up…"

The next event in our schedule was a charity performance for the local community.

Cecily-san wanted to boost local support for Aqua, so I had come up with the idea of holding an event for the locals. The proceeds would go to one of the city's fundraising efforts.

"Since it's Kazuma-kun's idea, I feel that you should be the one in charge of this event."

"In a dog eat dog world like the idol business, Cecily-san is actually giving me the chance to earn some recognition? As if. You're just dumping the work on me and plan to take the credit in the end, right?"

"I'd do the job myself but I have to work on our long term projects, too. For a relatively small-scale project like this, I thought that I could trust Kazuma-kun with the work."

"Trusting a mere assistant with running a project, what is Cecily-san thinking?"

"I'm thinking Kazuma-kun is kind of stupid to think I only consider him a mere assistant. Can't you tell I'm grooming you for the future, my protégé?"

With a wink, Cecily-san left me there as I was processing her words.

Cecily-san… Is grooming me as her protégé?

"Uwaa~ Can it be that Kazuma actually fell for that? It's obvious that Cecily-san is dumping the work on you and waiting to take credit in the end."

Aqua was quick to ground me back into reality.

 **Part 2**

"Lately, doesn't Megumin smell a bit weird?"

"Can Kazuma not start our conversations with an insult? I came back from lab work and used some fragrant chemicals. I'll go take a bath."

In the rare moments we could be alone, Megumin would come over.

"Megumin can take a bath after Kazuto finishes his."

"I'm surprised Kazuma didn't offer to join me this time."

"Doing lewd stuff in the bath when my mother could potentially use it afterwards? No thank you."

"Who said anything about lewd stuff? Anyways, I'm off to take a bath now. Farewell."

"Why does Megumin have to make even the most common daily routine sound dramatic? Just leave already."

…

…

When Megumin came back from bathing, she sighed and roughly closed the door behind her.

"What's wrong, Megumin? Did you happen to catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, see the lack of physical development despite being a college girl now, and become frustrated?"

"That's not what happened but I feel like hitting Kazuma now for even implying that I'd have a pitiful moment like that. I saw Kazuto peeping on me again. I thought his antics were cute at first, but it's getting annoying."

"That kid still has a crush on Megumin? What's wrong with him? Is he crazy?"

"It seems like Kazuma is siding with me, but why do I feel like I'm being insulted? Please stop finding all these sneaky and creative ways to diss me."

Megumin sat on my bed as she dried her hair with a towel.

I've noticed that she has been growing her hair out lately.

I prefer longer hair, but I couldn't imagine Megumin with anything longer than shoulder length hair.

"It's strange how that kid hasn't moved on yet. Isn't there a cute girl at school that could catch his attention?"

"There are two popular girls in Kazuto's class who are considered beauties, but I don't think they meet his taste. I don't find them especially attractive, myself."

"Kazuma said a lot of concerning things there. I want to know how Kazuma is so familiar about the girls in Kazuto's class."

"I'm collecting information on them right now, that's how I know."

"Kazuma, if you have committed a crime, please tell me now. Even if you go to prison, I will wait for you no matter how long it takes."

"I'm not doing anything strange. It's for work."

The local event Cecily-san entrusted me with…

It was more troublesome than I expected.

"There was a contest among the local schools and the winning class can participate in Aqua's event? Who came up with that stupid idea?"

"I suggested something like 'maybe we should get the community involved since this is a community event' and somehow it ended up like this. What I really meant was, 'let's get the community to do the grunt work for us for free so we can cut down on expenses'."

"That's what Kazuma gets for trying to take shortcuts. Looking at all these pictures… Uwaa, these kids all look like problem children. This looks like a class where the faculty dumps all the kids no one wants and assign some hapless new teacher to handle them."

Megumin said as she browsed the pictures I showed her from the portfolio I was given by Cecily-san, which revealed quite a bit of information.

Even the 'health day' results were included. The growth of these children in puberty over the years was available for my perusing.

For some reason, this sensitive information was given away without much caution.

"Oh? It looks like there is an exchange student mixed in here. Eh?! Isn't this girl really cute?! I didn't notice her from my scouting before!"

"So Kazuma admits to having done scouting even before he had this information available to him. Really, I'll be upset if my boyfriend has criminal tendencies… Oh, Kazuma is right. This girl is rather cute. What nationality is she?"

Megumin forgot what she had been saying as she became interested in the girl in the picture.

"I'm curious about this girl. Let's ask Kazuto about her. Kazuto, can you come here for a… bit…"

Megumin got up and opened the door to call for Kazuto.

She instantly found him on the other side.

"Were you listening this whole time?"

"I always listen. Please keep that in mind when you two plan on engaging in any erotic activities. There will be no inappropriate conduct happening on my watch."

It seems like my own home is a danger-zone now.

I'd rather not use Megumin's house. The madam always brought out her weird smelling candles whenever I came over.

"Never mind that for now, Kazuto. We are curious about this exchange student, do you know her?"

Kazuto's eyes lit up. He snatched the picture.

"It's a picture of Iris-san! Lucky! I'll have fap material for tonight!"

I knew he was going through puberty, but since when did my little brother get so perverted?

Megumin snatched the picture back.

"Kazuto, it seems like you are quite fond of this girl. Why don't you give up on me and try to woo this Iris girl, instead?"

"Why do I have to do that? I can have both Iris-san and Megu-nee if I try hard enough."

What's with that optimism?

"Kazuto, I just thought of something that could benefit both of us. If Kazuto gives me information about how to deal with his classmates, I will give Kazuto this picture of Iris."

"That sounds good. I'll also add a bonus favor, just for my nii-san. I will convince the more problematic people in my class to behave. This will make nii-san's job easier. In exchange, I want nii-san to tell me about the last lewd thing Megu-nee did for him."

"Kazuma, your brother is really gross."

I'm surprised it took her this long to figure that out.

"Megumin might have a problem with it, but I don't really care. I don't know why Kazuto would want to hear such a thing. I thought it'd be painful for any guy to hear about what their crush is doing in bed with another man."

"That is usually the case, but after being cruelly exposed many times to Megu-nee getting it on with nii-san, I developed a peculiar taste…"

I see. It was my fault for corrupting this little brother of mine.

Still, to develop a taste for NTR at such a young age, the pervert potential of this one is quite high.

Megumin seems to have many problems with it, but I decided to go ahead and make a deal with Kazuto.

"M-Megu-nee really did that?! How erotic! Along with this picture of Iris-chan, I will have a lot of fap material for tonight!"

"Kazuma, if you don't do something about your little brother, I will inform child protective services."

I couldn't tell if Megumin was bluffing or not.

 **Part 3**

A few days later, Aqua and I were set to meet Kazuto's classmates.

"Whoa~! It's a real idol! I wish it was Eris who came, though…"

"Hey, is it true what I hear about idols? That they don't poop or pee? Then how come I saw Aqua-san coming out of the bathroom earlier?"

"Um… Why does this idol look like she wants to strangle us? It's just my imagination, right?"

"Damn kids…!"

It was only the first few minutes and these kids were already getting under Aqua's skin.

Since Aqua had the mental capacity of a kid, I thought she would get along with the kids.

I guess this 'All-Japan' line up of problem children was too much for her.

"First things first, even though you are all contest winners, please keep in mind that this is a professional event. If we are not satisfied with you, we will look for another class."

"…!"

Kazuto gave me all sorts useful information about his classmates.

He spilled everything, the little snitch.

As expected of problem children, this class made a show of boasting to the rest of the school about winning the contest.

If they were to fail on the very first day, they would surely be teased and made fun of by those they boasted to.

These kids who were hyper-conscious about how others perceived them, should understand the consequences that would come should they fail.

"We… We'll try our best!"

"Um, you're Kazuto-kun's nii-san, right? He told us that we should cooperate with you. Please lead the way!"

From within the group, Kazuto gave me a knowing look.

Somehow, Kazuto managed to make friends with the rowdy delinquents in the class.

Even with my threat, I doubted that those cocky group of delinquents would easily bend to my will.

With Kazuto vouching for me, I had the complete cooperation of the class.

"I don't really get what's going on, but why do I have the feeling that Kazuma is doing something really terrible?"

"Don't worry about it, Aqua. I'll leave teaching the steps to you and the choreography team. We have an hour with the kids every day after school and a total of two weeks to practice. I doubt that we'd need that much time, so have the kids work on the decorations when you're not teaching them the steps."

"Gotcha! And what will Kazuma be doing?"

"I'll take care of acquiring a venue, balancing the budget, renting costumes and…"

"Ah, I got it! I don't want to deal with that stressful stuff, so don't involve me in it!"

I watched Cecily-san at work enough times and remembered the random pieces of advice she'd throw my way. I didn't have much trouble setting things up behind the scenes.

I was already well equipped for the job in terms of the know-hows.

Maybe Cecily-san really was training me as an apprentice of sorts.

"Um… H-Hello… I… Need… Um…"

I had set aside a working area for myself in the school's gymnasium, which the school lent us for practice.

While I was working, a familiar looking blonde girl approached me.

"Oh, Iris, right?"

"Eh? How… How you know…?"

Since she only recently transferred, her Japanese was still a work in progress.

This transfer student was sent to the class of problem children.

I understand not having enough classroom space, but I feel like the faculty staff should have tried a bit harder.

They were essentially sending an innocent lamb to a pack of wolves.

I was quite concerned, but for now, Iris was trying to tell me something.

I took out my phone and launched an app.

A robotic, monotone voice came out,

"What do you need, Iris?"

While not exactly perfect, translation and voice-to-text technology sure came far through the years.

Seeing my idea, Iris's face lit up. She smiled in relief. I handed her my phone and she typed out her response,

"This gig is lame AF, Kazzi. I'm going back to my crib, muthafucka."

Eh?

I don't think I screwed up with the settings or anything, did I?

Seeing my stupefied face, Iris-chan rolled her eyes. She returned the phone and started sprinting to the exit. I was too stunned to stop her.

There were some kids in her way, Kazuto's delinquent friends, but they immediately made way for her.

Instead of the lamb, she was the wolf.

I see.

I think I see now why she ended up in the class of problem children.

 **Part 4**

It was only the third practice and the event was already falling apart.

Encouraged by the sight of Iris leaving, the other kids felt empowered to skip as well.

At least a quarter of the class stopped showing up.

"What are you thinking, Kazuma-kun?! This was supposed to be a simple event, but you somehow managed to get a mutiny in your hands?! I trusted Kazuma-kun with this event, and this is the result?!"

I've never seen Cecily-san this angry before.

"I'm sorry, Cecily-san. I'll try to do better…"

I swallowed my pride and apologized, bowing.

"Did you know how hard it was to pass up the opportunity to spend the afternoons surrounded by junior high school girls?! Junior high school girls still sweaty from a long day of school! Junior high school girls still wearing their uniforms! I picked this school specifically because the uniform is cute, you know?! And yet I handed the project over to Kazuma-kun since I thought it would be a good learning opportunity! What a mistake!"

"Give me my pride back, you lolicon bitch…! And what's that about choosing a school because of their uniform? I thought the results were chosen by random!"

"Hah! All contests are rigged! These are the realities of the adult world, Kazuma-kun! Face it already!"

Cecily-san offered to help, but I didn't like the dangerous aura she was giving off. I assured her that I could handle the situation myself.

Iris was the key to all this. If I got her back on board, the other kids would follow her example.

However, just in case I failed at doing that, I came up with a back-up plan.

…

…

"Um… Who are these kids, Kazuma? And isn't that Megumin's little sister?"

Aqua asked me this the next day, as I arrived at the gym. I didn't come alone.

I recruited Komekko-chan and her schoolmates to replenish the numbers.

"We're making this a co-op between two schools now. Having a mix of big kids and small kids will be endearing. And with this many people, no one would be able to tell that those other kids ditched us."

"Kazuma has no shortage of dirty tactics."

If I managed to get Iris and the other kids back, that was fine. We will welcome them with open arms.

If they didn't come back, then screw them.

"We won't let you down, nii-san! Everyone, let's try our best!"

"Yosh! Komekko-chan!"

As expected of Komekko-chan, she already had her classmates wrapped around her little finger.

Perhaps not willing to get shown up by a bunch of younger kids, the problem children of Kazuto's class picked up on their efforts as well.

Since that was taken care of, I paid a visit to Iris.

I knew her address from the profile I was given.

She was staying in a fancy condominium in downtown.

When I paged the room, a female voice answered.

"Yes? Who is this?"

"I am the project manager for the school project Iris is currently skipping on right now. I've already visited numerous households since the other kids are skipping after they followed Iris's example, so I would like you to cooperate with me."

"…! I'm… I'm sorry for all the trouble our young lady has caused! I'll let you up immediately, sir!"

I lied about one thing.

There was no way I'd spend all that effort visiting all those homes when I only had to take out the ringleader.

I didn't want to meet any resistance from Iris's guardians and increased the sense of urgency.

The door opened and I took the elevator up to Iris's floor.

When I knocked on the door, the door was opened immediately.

A cute, blonde maid greeted me.

"I-I'm sorry for having you come all this way, sir! Going around to so many homes, you must be tired! Please come in and have some tea!"

After serving me tea, the maid introduced herself as Rain.

"Nice to meet you, Rain-san. Where is Iris right now?"

"Um… Her guardian, Claire, is trying to get her to come out of her room right now, but she's not succeeding…"

"Can I come see her myself?"

"Ah! W-Well, there isn't any problem, but the young lady isn't exactly presentable right now…"

"There is no problem."

"Eh? But, but she's not adequately dressed, and…"

"There is no problem at all."

I am not perving out here.

This is a viable strategy.

If I confronted Iris while she was in a vulnerable state, she'd be easier to persuade.

"It's fine. Please show me to her room."

"Um, I'm not doubting you here, but can I please see some identification? You're really the project manager and not some random pervert, right?"

The subservient attitude went away as Rain-san looked at me suspiciously.

After I showed her some documents proving that I wasn't some random perv, she allowed me to enter the room.

A tall, busty, blonde woman wearing a white suit was speaking in English with Iris. This white suit woman must be Claire-san.

Claire-san was the first to notice me.

"Good evening, sir. Sorry for having you come all this way. As you can see, my charge is refusing to speak with you. I'm sorry but perhaps this visit won't work out."

For some reason, I was meeting resistance with this white suit onee-san.

Could it be that Iris was so spoiled because of this lenient woman?

I looked at Iris who currently had her back turned to us. Like Rain-san said, her hair was a mess and her clothes were in a disarray.

The straps of her tank-top were drooping down, nearly revealing her chest.

She was still ignoring me despite being aware of my presence, completely absorbed in a game she was playing on her computer.

I recognized the game she was playing.

Maybe I could use this to my advantage.

"Iris plays that game too, huh?"

I took out my text-to-speech translator again.

From my words, Iris's ears perked up. I got her attention.

"I recognize the monster Iris is fighting right now. The weak point is the legs. If Iris aims for the legs, she will cripple it, making the monster vulnerable to attacks."

She looked at me suspiciously before trying out my advice.

"…!"

She was startled as the monster fell to its knees, leaving it open for an uninterrupted assault.

It didn't take long for the 'Victory' message to pop up.

Iris stared at me in wonder. She grabbed my phone and typed into the text-to-speech app.

"How did you know about that hax? That monster was hard AF to pwn! I was about to ragequit until you showed me that epic move!"

I was already getting annoyed by her speech.

Speaking in such stereotypical 'gamer slang', somebody Iris met online probably thought it was funny to teach a kid to speak this way.

Only a true scumbag would trick an impressionable child to speak in such a crude manner.

"I can teach more moves to Iris, if she wants."

"Epic! Let's pwn some skrub noobs 2gether FTW, Kazzi!"

It's getting worse.

"On two conditions. First, you speak properly without all the l33t speak. The second condition is that Iris must come to practice again."

Her excitement died down as I explained my conditions.

She looked a bit betrayed as she turned around and started gaming again.

I watched her accept a quest that would normally take at least a party of 4 to complete.

As expected, she died almost immediately.

She only sighed and accepted the quest again.

"Oi, doesn't Iris know that you need at least 4 people to complete that quest?"

"I know."

"Does Iris not belong in any party?"

"No, and I don't need one."

"You know… If Iris comes to practice, maybe I can party up with her for a bit? I have friends who play this game, you know?"

She ignored my offer and continued playing.

"…As you can see, sir, Iris would like to be left alone for now. Thank you for your efforts."

This white suit lady isn't helping.

I didn't want to cause a commotion in somebody else's home. I followed Claire-san as she led me out the door.

"W-Wait… I… Can… Play…?"

In broken Japanese, Iris called out to me.

"Of course. I'll see Iris tomorrow."

…

…

The next day, Iris came to practice. Following her example, the other kids who skipped started attending as well.

Now I had two full classes of children.

"Alright, kids! Follow my moves in 1… 2… 3…. Eh?! Gahhh! You stepped on my foot, you little bugger! It huuuurttsss!"

With so many bodies, the gymnasium stage wasn't big enough.

…We're going to need a bigger venue.

 **Part 5**

The day of the event…

"Everyone! Thank you for coming~! Now, please enjoy the fruit of our efforts!"

Aqua started off the event with a simple, but heartfelt speech.

In three weeks, the children had perfected their routine.

I also managed to take care of the behind-the-scenes logistics. Everyone had their own fitted costumes, the venue was big enough for all the attendees, and the stage was big enough for the performers.

"You did well, Kazuma-kun. I knew I could trust you. And good job with those costumes! They look cute!"

"Out of all the things Cecily-san could give me praise for, it was the costumes."

I was seated in the front row with Cecily-san. I also invited Megumin and both of our families to watch Komekko-chan and Kazuto perform.

"I'm so excited, hubby! Look at all those cameras recording this event! Our Komekko-chan is going to be a star!"

The madam was already eyeing Komekko-chan as if she were a golden goose.

"Yes, it's all very exciting! Ah, I think I see Kazuto! Eh? Doesn't it look like he's hanging around with a bunch of problematic looking children?"

My mother turned to me in question. It wasn't my job to counsel that kid, so I ignored the parent who allowed her son grow up a delinquent.

The performance went off without a hitch. Aqua and her team did a good job teaching the children.

They had gotten so good that some children who could carry a tune were even given back-up vocalist duties.

Among these children was Iris. She was given English lyrics to sing, to make it easier for her.

The languages blended well together. There was often a mix of Japanese and English in most pop songs these days, anyways.

Iris was definitely the best singer among the children and obviously received prior formal education.

From a few rows back, I could see Claire-san and Rain-san looking at their young charge with pride.

Iris would have stolen the show by herself with her performance, but…

"Eh? I've been thinking this for a while now, but where's Komekko-chan? I lost track of her about midway through this last song…"

Hyoizaburo-san, who had been crying tears of pride all this while, said when Komekko-chan suddenly disappeared.

"Maybe she needed to pee and snuck off to use the bathroom. But when she came back, she saw that the song was about to end and felt bad about sneaking in, and now she's waiting behind the curtains and watching her classmates enviously."

That was a needlessly detailed account, Megumin.

I'll listen to your childhood traumas later. Please don't look so gloomy during your little sister's important event.

As the song was about to end, Komekko-chan finally returned to the stage.

"...!"

"Eh? What's Komekko-chan doing?!"

She returned in a dramatic way, cartwheeling and performing all sorts of acrobatics, as she made her way to center stage.

Komekko-chan appeared in front of Aqua, and snatched the microphone away from the star of the show.

"…Eh?"

Aqua looked at her empty hand.

"The great Komekko always steals the spotlight at the end!"

The great Komekko-chan said, as camera flashes erupted, capturing the unexpected stunt.

 **Part 6**

Overnight the footage of Komekko-chan stealing the show became a trending topic in Japan.

You didn't often see a kid cartwheeling onto a stage and stealing the spotlight from an idol.

"I don't know whether to call that event a success or a failure considering what happened at the end there. However, since Komekko-chan is such a little cutie, I completely forgive her even if she did sabotage us! Hehe… That girl has potential. Maybe if I train her, mold her, she will become a formidable idol in the future?!"

Cecily-san already seemed like she's losing interest in her current idol.

Speaking of whom…

"Megumin! Your little sister completely stole the show! What do you have to say about that?!"

"To be honest I'm quite proud of her… Ah, no! I'm truly very sorry, Aqua! I'll make sure to give her a strong talking to!"

"I have a feeling Megumin will go easy on the discipline. I'll take matters in my own hands and give that little girl a spanking she'll remember for the rest of her life!"

Aqua wasn't very happy about the event.

She was receiving publicity from this incident, sure, but her pride couldn't handle being upstaged by a kid.

The other kids didn't really mind, though.

The whole performance was uploaded to all the major social media websites and was gaining lots of hits due to Komekko-chan's stunt.

They were indirectly getting famous as well.

Right now we were all 'celebrating' the 'success' of the event.

We booked a family restaurant for a party, bringing the kids and all the staff involved in the event along.

About midway through the evening, a certain blonde girl approached me.

She pulled out her phone and typed,

"Onii-chan, play with me again today."

In accordance to our deal, I would play that MMO with her in exchange for Iris's participation in the event.

"Doesn't Iris want to hang out with the other kids? Look, they are having fun."

"I don't really care about this sort of thing. Come play with me, onii-chan."

A cute young girl calling me 'onii-chan' would normally make me succumb to all her whims, but hearing it from a text-to-speech translator killed the charm somewhat.

"Listen, Iris. The real reason why I made you participate in the event was because I saw that you were throwing your youth away playing games. Stop being a LoliNEET and socialize with people your own age already!"

"Onii-chan is toxic AF! You're ditching me after you've lost your use for me, is that it?! WTF don't be a gold-digging THOT, onii-chan!"

She reverted back to that crude speech.

After hearing what Iris had to say, Megumin responded,

"Iris, please understand what your onii-chan is saying. It's no good if Iris spends all her days playing video games with adults like us."

"What adult? I don't see no adult here."

"Why you little brat…!"

Like Megumin said, it was no good if Iris didn't play with kids her own age.

As I was thinking, I saw Komekko and Kazuto getting along with their peers.

"Ah, I have an idea."

 **Part 7**

"Onii-chan, I'm supposed to play with these noobs?"

Iris said as she looked at Komekko-chan and Kazuto.

"Oi, don't underestimate Komekko-chan. She'd sometimes play with us and she has a good grasp of the game. Ah, but you're right, Kazuto is a total noob. Please be patient with him."

"I'm not a noob! I haven't played this particular game yet because it's shitty and full of flaws!"

I couldn't really argue with him there.

"Hah?! Doesn't this noob realize that it's the game's faulty coding and design that makes it so charming?! Its selling point is its imperfections and crappy balancing! GTFO you noob!"

"This girl…! I thought you were cute at first, but I didn't know you were such a prissy bitch! And it's annoying to have to listen to this text-to-speech thing all the time! Learn Japanese already!"

"Why don't you learn English instead?! It's the most commonly used language in the world, dumbass!"

It didn't take long for these two to start fighting.

Even though Kazuto was desperate to acquire even just one picture of Iris before, he completely got over her once he learned of her true nature.

"Nii-san, I was playing a gacha game and drew this weapon I already own. I have a full inventory already, so do you want to trade for it?"

I don't have anything of equal value to that ridiculous weapon you apparently already have a duplicate of, Komekko-chan.

Iris and Komekko-chan were already playing, but the elitist snob Kazuto was still refusing to play this 'inferior' game.

"All the review websites gave this game a crappy review, there's no way I'll play it!"

"Why are you basing your opinion from an abstract score made by some guy you don't even know? Make your own opinions, you sheep!"

My approach didn't seem to work and only made Kazuto more obstinate.

"Oi, Megumin, it's your turn."

"I'd really like it if Kazuto-kun played this game. Maybe we can party together someday?"

"What class should I choose, I wonder? Maybe the archer class? And what's a good name to choose for my character? I think 'Revi' sounds good. What do you think, Megu-nee?"

This thirsty brat is too easy.

And with that, Iris got two new playmates.

 **Part 8**

After that event, my workload, at least job wise, got lighter.

Cecily-san was able to work on other projects while I took care of the community project for her, which meant that our calendar was free for a while.

This didn't mean that I had any time for reprieve, though.

"…I don't want to do this anymore."

I said while looking at the essay that would be due in a few days.

Megumin and I were working on our homework in her room.

"It'd be pathetic if Kazuma burns out in his first year. Please hang in there."

"If Megumin gets naked right now maybe I can have the motivation to try again."

"We already did it earlier! And Kazuma used up the last of the condoms we had left. Remember to buy some more when you get the chance."

There was a tight correlation between my stress and lust levels.

"Kazuma should get a hobby. And I don't mean playing video games. Maybe something active."

"I may be heading down the path of a normie recently, but I still want to maintain some of my roots. I'm not going to join jogging groups or drink protein shakes or anything like that!"

"By the way, did I mention that Kazuma looks like he's gaining a bit of weight? Especially at the sides here."

Megumin poked at my sides. Her fingers sunk into the bit of fat that was growing there.

"Those… Those are only love handles! And no one will notice them if I wear my pants really high up!"

"Kazuma is still young and yet you're relying on slimming techniques already? Listen, Kazuma may be fine now, but in a couple years the high metabolism you enjoyed in your prime years will start to fade away. It starts in the sides, here, but with a couple more years and a few beers after work and…"

"I get it! I'll start exercising or whatever, so I get it!"

In face of the grim future Megumin depicted for me, I promised to become a bit more active.

"I know, why don't we do something right now? A physical activity that will get the sweat flowing… Why is Kazuma taking off his pants?"

"I thought Megumin was inviting me."

"I can't deny that lewd activities provide great exercise by itself, but that's not what I was referring to! Staying cooped up inside and having sex all day doesn't count as a hobby!"

"It sounds like a damn good hobby to me."

"Say, isn't the weather pretty good outside? Let's go out for a jog, Kazuma."

"I'd rather not."

"The alternative is Kazuma spending the next two hours finishing up his essay."

"I think the tracksuit I'm wearing right now should do, right? Let's get exercising, Megumin!"

I quickly saved my document and logged off the computer.

"I expected Kazuma to put up some more resistance. Anyways, let me change and I'll meet Kazuma outside."

"Why do I need to leave the room? I've already seen all of Megumin. Go ahead and change."

"It's called being a gentleman!"

What good did being a gentleman do for any guy?

When has a woman ever hooked up with a guy just because he opened the door for her or let her have his seat on the bus?

The synonym for 'gentle' is 'soft', you know? Just because I'm getting a bit soft at the sides, doesn't mean I'm soft when it comes to my pride as a man!

"I'm ready. Thanks for patiently waiting outside, Kazuma. Now, let's go."

"Yes, dear."

Megumin wore her old gym uniform from high school, a boring old tracksuit similar to mine.

I eagerly await for the return of bloomers.

Please make those fashionable again.

We started with a slow jog as we hit the streets.

The weather was good, as Megumin had said.

"Ah, the rush of wind hitting your face...Isn't this great, Kazuma?"

"Uh-huh."

"Getting fresh air after being cooped inside a room all day, this feels great!"

"Uh-huh."

"We should make this a routine. Ah, look another couple over there is jogging. Uwah… They look really fit. Oh, no, they're heading this way. If amateurs like us meet paths with them, we will look pretty pitiable in comparison. Let's cross the street."

Megumin was only self-conscious when it comes to minor, obscure things.

As we crossed the street, we ended up in front of the sweets store across from Megumin's apartment.

"Ara? Isn't that Megu-chan? You haven't been coming to use my landline phone recently ever since you got that fancy new smartphone!"

The old lady Megumin mentioned before greeted us.

"Ah! No, it's not that! I'm just busy with university and everything!"

"Or so you say, but isn't Megu-chan flirting around with a man right now? Sniff… Please don't forget about me…"

"Ahhh! No, that's not it at all!"

This old lady was obviously teasing Megumin, but she didn't catch on until later.

"Geez… Oba-san is so mean, playing with my emotions like that..."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Megu-chan~ You're just so fun to tease! Here, you two, these sweets will expire in a few days but I still have a surplus of them left in stock. Finish them up for me, OK?"

We couldn't refuse her offer and accepted the sweets.

After saying goodbye, we resumed our jogging.

"Um… She sure gave us a lot of sweets, huh?"

"Uh-huh."

"Ugh… I guess it'd be a shame to throw them away."

"Uh-huh."

I was supposed to be losing weight, but I ended up eating a bunch of sweets instead.

After that day, Megumin and I kept up our jogging routine.

Combined with our 'bedroom activities', I did manage to get in a fair bit of exercise through these months.

About mid-way through my first year of university, the love handles were gone.


	7. Adult period

**Chapter 7: Adult period**

 **Editing and Proofreading: LordVTP and Marv**

 **Part 1**

On my 20th birthday, I had an epiphany.

It has been two decades since I was born into this world.

Looking back at the time that has elapsed, I can't say I've used that time wisely.

Memories of staying up all night grinding in MMO's come to mind.

When I saw the candle in the shape of the number '20' lit up before me, instead of feeling festive, I only felt pangs of anxiety and a vague feeling that something was chasing after me.

During bus rides to school I often find myself thinking about the subject.

I got to thinking about something else.

I'm 20 years old and still living with my parents.

I am now considered an adult.

University students of my age often move out to dormitories or rent an apartment to live in by themselves, or they share the rent with roommates.

A week after my 20th birthday, I brought up the matter with Cecily-san.

We met up in a cafe to discuss the matter.

"Che!"

For some reason, my request for advice was met with scorn.

Cecily-san glared at me as she drank her tea.

When she placed the teacup down, she said,

"How lucky for you youngsters. So eager to join the adult world and society, huh? You won't be so careless when you have to worry about rent and taxes and job security, and…!"

"I approached Cecily-san because she's been through this before. If you're just going to lecture me, then tell me now so I can ditch you with the bill and study for an important test coming up."

"...If Kazuma-kun pays for the bill, I'll give you some advice. Very well, then. I say that Kazuma-kun has the right idea. It's time to move out."

Cecily-san then proceeded to tell me a tragic tale.

It was the tale of a young woman full of promise. She was the pride of her parents.

Her parents always encouraged her, especially when she started her matriculation at a top-tier university.

While taking care of the tuition, the parents also assured the young woman that she'd always have a place in their home, and that there was no rush to move out.

However, several years into this girl's university matriculation, the parents had this to say:

"'Oi. Aren't you supposed to graduate already? Wasn't it a four year course? Don't tell me you changed your major again. It's time for you to move out.' That's what my folks told me, Kazuma-kun. Now, do you get it now, Kazuma-kun? The moral of the story?"

"I think I do. Cecily-san didn't develop a sense of urgency since she was coddled by her parents. Her parents eventually realized their mistake and forced Cecily-san to grow up by taking her out of her comfort zone and forcing her to find a place of her own. I see now, what valuable advice."

"Wrong! The moral of the story is to get as much money out of your parents while they still see you as a cute kid! Kazuma-kun should ask his parents to pay the down-payment for an apartment before their love for you wears thin! Do you get it now, Kazuma-kun?!"

"As expected of my boss. What brilliant advice!"

"Hehe. Did Kazuma-kun have any doubts? Now, go! Don't delay! You become less and less of an adorable child in your parents' eyes as the days go by! Soon they'll see you as an overgrown man child who takes up way too much of the family budget that they could instead be using for vacation trips and expensive appliances! It seems that my advice has given Kazuma-kun the inspiration he needed! I like the look in your eyes! Ah, don't forget to pay the bill, Kazuma-kun. You promised~!"

Cecily-san drank the rest of her tea and handed me the bill.

 **Part 2**

Like Cecily-san said, I didn't have any problems convincing my family.

"It seems like it was only yesterday when I carried Kazuma in my womb… They grow up so fast... "

My mother had a nostalgic look as tears were pooling around her eyes.

Even though my parents usually regarded me coldly and were stingy with their money, they were acting like this as they were influenced by nostalgia.

If I had loafed around and leeched off the family budget for a few more years, they would have kicked me out without any remorse or financial support, like what happened to Cecily-san.

As expected of my boss, she gave me solid life advice.

"Eh? What's this? Nii-san is moving out? How can I spy on his lovey-dovey sessions with Megu-nee if he moves out?! This is a crisis!"

Kazuto, who still hadn't let go of his creepy obsession over Megumin, provided me with yet another reason to move out of this house and get my own place.

"The real matter we should be concerned about is whether or not Kazuma-kun will ask Megumin to live with him. Ohoho~!"

"No! No way! Cohabitation is definitely not allowed!"

To my mother who was getting excited, I said,

"Cohabitation… That's a pretty big deal, isn't it? As the parents, shouldn't it be your job to stop me from making rash decisions? Why is it that my own parents are the ones who always encourage me to make bad decisions?"

"I trust Megumin-chan to make the right decisions. And I've been told that despite having had a girlfriend for a few years now, Kazuma-kun is still a virgin at heart."

"What do you mean by 'virgin at heart'?! And why am I talking about virginity and stuff with my own mother, anyways?! Gross, disgusting! Stop this at once!"

"It's Kazuma-kun who is in the wrong! I've been talking with Yuiyui-san and she also agrees that it's time we see our beautiful grandchildren! Please consider it! Sometimes I wake up in the morning and feel my bones ache and I think, 'Ah, I'm pretty close to dying, aren't I? I'd like to see my grandchildren at least once before I die'. This may seem like a foreign concept to you now, but once Kazuma-kun becomes a parent who has a twenty year old child, he will understand! Life is short, do you get it, Kazuma-kun?! How about this, I'll pay! I'll pay for the down payment and even the monthly rent as long as Kazuma promises to…!"

"OK, I think that's enough, dear…"

My father had to take aside the mother who was getting a bit too worked up.

He took her upstairs while Kazuto and I stayed in the living room.

We had been drinking tea and watching a television program when I had brought up the subject of moving out.

Shortly after...

"Nii-san. Please reconsider."

Kazuto spoke up.

"No."

"Think about it this way! If you move in with Megu-nee, our mother and her mother will try all sort of schemes to try and get you two to make babies!"

"When did you hear me say that I plan to move in with her? I'd like to try living on my own before I take on that kind of burden."

"Oi, are you saying that living with Megu-nee would be a burden? At least give her a chance before you say that."

"Changing your tune just like that, huh? By the way, since we're talking about this, I've never really brought this up since I considered your crush on Megumin as a phase that all kids go through, but isn't Kazuto already past that age? Please let go of your childhood crush already. Trust me, you'll just regret it later!"

"Why does nii-san sound so convincing when he said that…? I mean, I won't waver, never!"

He pouted and looked away from me.

I rubbed the back of my head while thinking about what to say.

I didn't really have any 'serious talks' with Kazuto before.

But, I felt that it was about time I addressed this awkward issue with Kazuto.

"Um, even if Kazuto gets what he wishes and Megumin breaks up with me or something, she's not the type of girl to go ahead and date the brother of the boyfriend she just dumped."

He was still looking away from me but I saw his shoulders soften.

"...Does nii-san think I don't already know that?"

He finally turned towards me. With defeated eyes, he said,

"I knew it was silly, crushing on Megu-nee when it's impossible… But, I can't just let go! People who fall in and out of love and are temperamental with their crushes, I don't get it! Like my classmates at school who will whine about a bad break up one day, but they'll immediately start going out with another person in a couple weeks. It doesn't make sense to me!"

I was once Kazuto's age.

That susceptible age when relationships carry an undeniable weight and meaning, when even casual connections and acquaintanceships inflict heartbreak should they disappear.

"What about Iris, who Kazuto is spending a lot of time with recently? Kazuto should try to woo her."

"Woo her…? Who says that anymore? And Iris? Ew! I admit that I had a bit of something for her at first but once I got to know her and saw her rotten personality, I regret ever having felt any attraction towards her. She's cute and has a nice body but she's definitely not girlfriend material. In regards to Iris, she's 'Nut & Go' material."

How did this boy become so crass?

I'd like to know where he got this trashy personality from.

"If I were to 'woo' anybody… Maybe Komekko-chan wouldn't be so bad? She does look more and more like Megu-nee everyday. In fact, with the way she's growing, she could even surpass Megu-nee in terms of physical allure?! And since we're childhood friends, I can raise that flag if I want… Nii-san?! What's with that evil look you're giving me?!"

I glared maliciously at Kazuto who was starting to get dangerous thoughts.

 **Part 3**

The following day, my mother took me to tour some apartments around town.

Since my mother was a real estate agent, albeit a rather mediocre one, as she admitted herself, she had some connections and knew someone who could get me a good deal, or so she claimed.

"What's the benefit of having these connections? People always say in a self-assured manner 'Don't worry, I have connections', but what do these connections actually provide in terms of perks and benefits? I don't think we will be receiving any discounts and other such considerations today, so if mother is just showing off, please stop this right now!"

I said this to the mother who had been bragging about her connections as we drove to the first location.

"Having connections means… Um, it's less likely that they'll rip us off since I personally know them and it'd be awkward if we stumble across each other on the way to the market after they gave me a crappy deal, or something? It's that kind of thing, you know? Ah, we're here!"

After saying those vague, almost irresponsible words, she parked the car in front of a three floor apartment.

There was a small garden in front of the building. The plot was filled with daffodils that were spread far apart from where each was planted to give the illusion of volume when, in fact, there were only a handful of flowers and other miscellaneous shrubbery planted.

When we came inside, we were greeted by a woman wearing a tidy business suit.

"Ah, Satou-san! Thanks for coming. And this must be your youngest, Kazuto-kun."

"...I'm not Kazuto. I'm Kazuma."

"E-Eh? The one who is a NEET? What are you doing outside?"

I looked to my mother who was avoiding her eyes and sweating.

She had been gossiping about me, huh?

"So this person is part of my mother's 'connections', huh? Excuse me, lady, when was the last time you talked to my mother?"

"Um… That would be four years ago, I believe. It actually surprised me that your mother called after all these years… And to be honest, we've only talked a few times, and in those times she'd only complain about her 'useless NEET son' and…"

"Wah! Please stop! This mediocre son expects his parents to be spectacular, or something?! Hasn't Kazuma-kun heard the phrase 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree'?!"

I calmed my mother down before she had a panic attack.

"A-Anyways, let's begin the tour. The apartment is on the second floor, so it's not that high of a climb. Follow me."

We went up the stairs to the second floor while the real estate lady gave us commentary about the building.

The trivia was rather limited as there wasn't anything interesting to say about this generic building you could find anywhere.

When we made it to the room, the lady fumbled with the passcode before we could enter.

"What's that smell?"

I said as I smelled a strong fragrance as I entered the room.

"Ah, that's just the new paint! As you can see, there's new paint on the walls."

One room, one kitchen/dining room area, and one bathroom.

The rest was an empty space that defaulted as a living area.

There was one double casement window that showed a view of the street below. I could see an old lady selling takoyaki below.

Since I imagined that most of the apartments I would be visiting would be similar to this one, the deciding factor was the monthly rent.

"Let's see- for this place, it's 75,000 yen a month, including basic utilities."

The real estate agent said as I inquired about the price.

"How is that price compared to the other places we will be visiting today?"

"It's pretty reasonable. The next place is about 59,000 yen in rent, but it doesn't include basic utilities. Another apartment is fully furnished and costs about 79,000 yen, but that doesn't cover utilities either.."

As long as I had a fridge, stove and a toilet, I could make do without expensive furniture.

I could even make do with just a futon. I was a university student, after all. Such a frugal way of living is fitting for me.

I took my mother aside and said,

"I'll check out the other places, but I'm feeling pretty good about this one."

"Is Kazuma-kun sure? Why don't we look for a cozier place suitable for Kazuma-kun and Megumin-chan's babymaking?"

"...Babymaking? At such a young age?!"

The real estate agent turned to us in surprise when she heard my mother's careless words.

I made my mother shut up before she could say anything unnecessary.

 **Part 4**

"Uwaa… That was pretty tiring."

My mother said as she reclined on her seat.

After visiting five more apartments, we stopped at a burger joint to rest.

Pausing to finish my fry, I replied,

"I thought that choosing one would be easier, but I still need some time to think."

"It's not as easy as it seems, is it? Be sure to really think about it. And Kazuma-kun should know that he doesn't need to be in any rush to move out."

"...That goes against what mother was saying about baby making earlier."

She blushed and turned her face away from me.

"I-I got carried away. Sorry if that bothered you, Kazuma-kun…"

Oi.

You're a forty year old woman with two kids. What's with this cutesy act?

"Um, despite what I said, it's Kazuma-kun's life in the end. You're already an adult now. It's time to make your own decisions."

It was my turn to feel embarrassed.

I've never had any of these one-on-one serious talks with my parents before.

We had always been distant ever since I became a NEET.

"Thanks…"

I could only mumble out in reply.

"Hey, remember when I used to take Kazuma-kun to burger joints like this? Whenever you were in a bad mood, I'd take you out and treat you to a meal. It would instantly raise your spirits and you'd give me the biggest smile. You were such a cute kid before! Hehe… Before…"

Don't emphasize the 'before' part while you have a look of deep nostalgia.

"I remember one day, you seemed particularly upset. I took you out to a burger joint and got you your favorite meal set. However, to my surprise, you didn't even take a single bite. After that, you started cutting class and well…"

"..."

My mother suddenly brought up my dark past.

"...Even if mother looks at me like that, what am I supposed to say?"

"A part of me thinks that we failed you, that we could have done more. I just wanted to ask Kazuma-kun… That day… What happened?"

I looked into my mother's eyes.

Memories of my childhood friend riding in the back of a delinquent senpai's bike flashed through my mind.

I took another fry and then another, until I was stuffing my mouth with them.

"Eh?! Kazuma-kun?! What are you doing?!"

I gulped it all down with a soft-drink.

"If I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to talk about it! Geez!"

"Eh?! Kazuma-kun, it's better to talk about it, you know?! If you talk about it and let your feelings out, you'll feel better!"

"I'm not going to talk about this with my mother! That's the most painful kind of embarrassment a young man can go through! Talking about past loves with my own mother is definitely a no-no!"

"So it's about a past love?! Someone Kazuma-kun loved before… Wait, don't tell me it was that girl from the neighbor's…?! Eh, Kazuma-kun, where are you going?"

I left the restaurant before my mother could humiliate me any further.

 **Part 5**

"Kazuma, I heard you're shopping around for an apartment. Why didn't you rely on my expertise?"

After rehearsals, Aqua said this to me in a lecturing tone.

"What kind of advice can the idol Aqua give to a poor student like me? Aqua lives in a high-class condo that only hot shots can afford. If I were to take Aqua with me to the house tour I went on, I will have to put up with you laughing at the pitiful selection."

"That's not true at all! What do you take me for!"

I already knew Aqua's personality well after spending so much time with her. She couldn't fool me.

Aqua, muttering angrily, worked to remove the makeup that was meticulously applied before the show.

It always made me cringe a bit knowing how much time and effort it took to apply that make-up, only for Aqua to unceremoniously wipe it off with afterwards.

Same with her set outfits. As the one in charge of cleaning up her house, I'd often find fabulous designer dresses thrown carelessly on the floor.

It was also due to Aqua's sloppiness that I couldn't look at a woman's undergarments and get excited anymore.

"That was a nice rehearsal, Aqua-chan! As always, you're a fast learner when it comes to these things!"

Coming into the dressing room while giving vague, almost backhanded, compliments was Cecily-san.

"Thanks for taking care of me the other day."

"Oho? How surprisingly polite of Kazuma-kun. Perhaps now that he is moving out he feels like an adult now? Is Kazuma-kun trying to be more gentleman-like?"

With these kinds of unpleasant people, it's really hard to show basic courtesy towards them without having your words twisted in strange ways.

"When will Kazuma-kun officially move in?"

"Once midterms are over I will have time to move in."

"I don't think Kazuma has a lot of personal belongings to move, though. And in terms of lewd materials, most of that stuff can be viewed digitally now."

"There is still an appeal when it comes to physical copies of… Oi, what are you trying to make me say!"

"Ouch!"

I bopped Aqua on the head as she almost made me say something that would surely get me blamed for sexual harassment.

"Speaking of sexual harassment, what about Megumin-chan?"

"Why is my boss thinking about her subordinate's girlfriend when the word 'sexual harassment' comes up? And what about Megumin?"

Cecily-san had a wicked grin on her face.

"Well… Seeing as you two are now adults, and Kazuma-kun now has a place to himself, it wouldn't be too strange if the two of you moved in together~!"

This topic came up again.

"That's a good idea, isn't it, Kazuma?! Since Megumin lives in a slum anyways, it wouldn't be much of a downgrade if she moves in to Kazuma's new rathole apartment! Ouch! OK, I'll stop…"

Aqua finally got the message once I gave her another bop.

"Regardless, we should celebrate once Kazuma-kun moves in! A housewarming party is a must! Since this will be a party among adults, I'll make sure to bring lots of beer and adult entertainment!"

"Oi, what's this about 'adult entertainment'? I'm a man who already has a girlfriend. Please keep troubling stuff like that away from me. I can't afford to cheat."

"What's with that wording? Kazuma sounded like a faithful lover when he said that, but something about the wording seems a bit suspicious."

Cecily-san looked at me suspiciously for some reason.

"A party with everyone! It's been a while since I've gotten loose, and it'll be merrier once all our friends are here! Speaking of which, Darkness should be in town soon. The timing is perfect!"

"Ah, that young lady. I had some fun with her the other time. I hope she learned a lot of things."

Cecily-san said while she chuckled to herself.

By that she means…

"Don't tell me Cecily-san did something weird with Darkness that time?"

I was referring to that time we asked Cecily-san for sex advice.

Cecily-san offered to give us further advice but I declined the suspicious offer.

Darkness seemed very interested, though.

"No, she's too old for my tastes. I merely gave her a lot of tips and attempted to enlighten her about my tastes…"

"Darkness is already corrupted enough as she is. Please don't make it worse."

The road to rehabilitation for that hopeless Darkness just got rockier.

"That girl did make a lot of unreasonable demands from me, though. Asking me things like: 'Cecily-san, I would like to see a direct demonstration of how a woman sleeps with a man'. Saying that she'd pay me whatever amount if I called a guy over and allowed her to watch… That girl is a bit strange. Ha-Ha."

"That's not something Cecily-san can laugh off with a 'Ha-Ha'! You should have called the cops on that girl! That's clearly sexual harassment right there!"

"I didn't really mind her proposition, but like I said before, I'm not too experienced with guys. I only had one boyfriend while I was studying in university. More than men, I'm more interested in… Hehe… By the way, how is that cute little sister of Megumin-chan's doing? Her name is Komekko-chan, right? Hehe."

First Kazuto and now Cecily-san.

That Komekko-chan is suddenly gaining the interest of dangerous people.

 **Part 6**

While I studied for midterms, I settled the matter with the apartment in my free time.

Looking over legal documents to make sure I wasn't getting screwed over… I took care of trivial but necessary chores.

Once I got the matter settled, I could freely come in and out of the apartment room as I wished, though I didn't have any of my stuff moved in yet.

During our day off, I took Megumin to see the room.

"Whoa, so spacious! Kazuma must have splurged for a room like this!"

"There's only a lot of space because I haven't moved in yet."

Megumin excitedly looked around.

Well, there wasn't really anything to see, anyways.

She went over to the window and peered out of it. I joined her and opened the window a bit to let some fresh air in.

"This is a nice view! You can see the nine-to-five corporate slaves walking back home from work up here! Look at how tired they are!"

What about that depressing sight is a nice view?

"Why is Megumin so excited? In terms of buildings, this one is pretty underwhelming."

There wasn't anything inherently bad about it, but there was nothing to be this excited about either.

"I'm not sure. Maybe the fact that Kazuma is getting his own place is exciting to me? I've always thought about moving out on my own. Isn't the sense of freedom exciting for Kazuma as well?"

"I'd rather leech off my parents my whole life, but sadly that's not an option."

Megumin's look of excitement was replaced with disdain.

"I know that Kazuma is the type who'd say something like that, but don't tell me that there isn't some part of you who craves freedom as well. Expanding beyond one's horizons and seeing more of the world…"

"That naive outlook doesn't suit the Megumin who's always acting beyond her age. Although, I can totally understand why Megumin would be in a hurry to leave her home."

"What is Kazuma implying about my home?"

We brought some convenience store food to eat, but since there weren't any tables, we ate while sitting on the floor.

We each got our own donburi set meals along with drinks and some side dishes, as well as pudding for dessert.

As we were eating, Megumin was looking at something on her phone.

"Look, Kazuma, my pet has grown up a lot since back then."

"I didn't know Megumin was raising a digital pet. Won't Chomusuke get jealous?"

"I like digital pets better than real ones because they don't cost any money to feed. Truly, real life pets are inferior."

"Where is Chomusuke right now?! Don't tell me you've already abandoned her?!"

I was worried about Megumin's pet cat as she said those ominous words.

"I'm not that heartless. I am joking anyways… Wait, what's this? I'm getting a discount on another game this company made because I got my pet to level 30?!"

Megumin had sparkly eyes as she stared at her digital pet.

Chomusuke, hang in there.

I should check with the landlord if I'm allowed to keep pets here, for Chomusuke's sake.

"So, where is Kazuma planning to place his furniture?"

"I'm not going to bring in a lot of things. Just all my electronics, including my PC setup, gaming chair, headset, surround sound system, my laptops-for school and gaming-my tablet, my gameb*y collection, all of them… All my retro games… Aside from that I can bring a futon or something, too."

"Why is it all electronics? And you're not even going to bother bringing your bed, huh?"

Megumin gave a sigh and had a look of resignation as she stood up and gathered our trash.

After she disposed of it in the garbage bag we brought along, she said,

"Have you checked if the utilities are working?"

"I haven't started paying for them yet, so I'm not sure."

"You're right, the water isn't running."

Megumin tried to get some running water from the sink, but nothing came out.

"I know that Kazuma will neglect his chores, so I'll have to come and visit to take care of things around here."

"I can take care of myself. I've always pictured myself as a man who can get his act together once it is necessary."

"I suppose Kazuma does have a good track record with turning his life around, but rather than being proud of that, please make sure to live properly from now on."

"R-Right…"

As Megumin smiled knowingly at me, I remembered my mother's words.

"Um… You know, Megumin, this place is pretty close to your campus. I'm not saying we should do it immediately- um- but maybe once Megumin properly becomes an adult, too, maybe you might consider moving in? Haha…"

Somehow, my speech came out vaguely.

"But I am already an adult, Kazuma."

"Err… Is that so?"

"What's with that doubtfulness?! I'm already a full-time university student, right?! Hey, please clarify what you're implying here!"

"Megumin can't even legally drink yet, so maybe bringing things up like moving in together is still a bit too much for Megumin. I'm sorry for bringing it up. Ah, feel free to come for the occasional 'sleep over', though…"

"Geez! Bringing up the subject only to tease me…"

Megumin was pouting, but she still ended up smiling.

"It's a nice place, Kazuma."

"Yeah, it is."

 **Part 7**

Midterm exams went smoothly. I was adequately prepared and didn't need to cram at the last minute.

And so, even as I needed to coordinate with a moving company and finalize some things with the landlord, I was still in a good mood despite being so busy.

"Well, that should be the last of it."

"Thank you for your hard work."

I said my thanks to the moving company as they placed the last of the boxes inside.

I didn't need to be present, but I felt compelled to watch the process anyways.

Megumin was still at school doing her own exams. It wasn't until I had unpacked half of the boxes when she was finally free to come over.

"This place doesn't seem so spacious anymore."

With boxes placed all over the living room, Megumin had to retract her previous assessment.

"I got my PC parts out, just gotta unpack all the other electronics… Ah, I don't really care about the other stuff. We can leave them in the boxes for now."

"Even though I helped Kazuma order that furniture, you only really care about your electronics, huh?"

Megumin didn't like it when I told her that I was only planning to bring a futon and I had no interest in purchasing other pieces of furniture.

She made me go to a department store and we bought some basic living room furniture as well as blinds, lamps, and kitchenware like plates and pots.

"Seriously, Kazuma didn't even intend to buy any plates? Were you thinking of buying convenience store food every day?"

"I don't see what's wrong with that."

"You'll get kidney stones by the time you graduate. Besides, there's nothing like a home cooked meal, and I think Kazuma makes some really good food."

"It doesn't matter how good I can cook my own food. All the prep time and effort completely ruins your appetite. It's like touching yourself; it feels better when someone else does it for you."

"That's disgusting. What kind of comparison is that? And is Kazuma implying that I should cook his meals for him?"

Her tone indicated that she was disappointed, but I could see the glimmer in her eyes.

"I cook all day for Aqua so it gets kind of tiresome, you know~!"

"Geez… Alright, I guess I can help out. You know, if it's come to this, wouldn't it be more efficient if I just moved in? Haha…"

She said it like a joke at first, but her voice started to trail off as she weakly laughed.

Ever since the day I showed Megumin the apartment and we had that talk, she had been occasionally bringing up that topic.

It seems that she was more receptive to the idea than I had first thought.

"Hm… What can I say? It's not like I'm totally against the idea. In fact, I have no qualms with doing the newlywed routine with Megumin."

"Hold on, I didn't say I'd go that far."

She held up her hand as I got a bit too excited.

"Anyways… Before having Megumin move in, I'd like to see if I can live on my own before agreeing to do that. In terms of maturity, I feel like there's a lot I need to catch up on. I've spent all those years idling about and running from my responsibilities, after all. I want to make sure that I can actually survive in this world and I know that's going to be a long trial and error process. Megumin can move in once I have it figured out, so…"

"It's alright, Kazuma, I get it."

She smiled and then nodded to herself.

"That was surprisingly easy."

"I'm not in a hurry to move in, either. Only reason I'd want to do it is to make my mother shut up about it."

So that was the reason, huh?

Megumin headed to the kitchen and began preparing some onigiri with the new ingredients we stored in the fridge.

"When should we prepare for the housewarming party?"

She said as she gave me my share of the onigiri. We ate by the new kotatsu we set up earlier. It wasn't too cold yet, so we didn't use the heating function.

"I think Darkness will arrive from her business trip tonight. We're still not done packing, but I reckon we can finish by tomorrow."

I looked at the boxes.

"Hey, maybe we can have that workhorse Darkness unpack all this stuff for us."

"I don't doubt her capabilities and willingness to do grunt work, but you shouldn't take advantage of your friends like that, Kazuma."

After we finished the onigiri, we went back to unpacking.

 **Part 8**

"Uwaa~ So this is Kazuma and Megumin's new love nest. Sniff, sniff…"

For some reason, Darkness started sniffing at the air.

"It doesn't look like you two have been busy at all. Or maybe you're just good at cleaning stains…"

Aqua was also saying some weird things.

For the party, Megumin and I had bought some snacks and prepared some food.

Aqua had already eaten half of the snacks before Darkness and the others arrived.

I didn't want to go too crazy with inviting people. Aside from the four of us, there was also…

"Thank you for inviting me, onii-chan."

I invited Iris, who had been like a little sister to me recently.

"Thank you for having us…" x 2.

Following after her, like usual, were her retainers, Claire and Rain.

They were regarding me with caution.

For some reason, Iris's retainers started viewing me as some sort of a bad influence on Iris. I don't see why, though…

"Onii-chan! These snacks are delicious AF! Nice crib, btw! It's lit!"

I really have no clue.

"F-For inviting me to your new home, thank you very much!"

We also invited Yunyun, who, as always, was needlessly grateful that she was invited to a social gathering.

"Well, thank you for coming, everyone."

As the host, I offered this gracious greeting to my guests.

"Nii-chan, nii-chan, where's the food? The snacks are already gone."

My heartfelt greeting was ignored by Komekko as she joined Darkness in sniffing around, but this time for food.

Hearing her little sister's words, Megumin emerged from the kitchen.

"I knew that the appetizers and snacks wouldn't be enough. Here's the food, but remember to pace yourself… Oi…"

Komekko didn't even wait for Megumin to finish speaking before she swiped food from Megumin's hands and started gobbling it up.

"Uwaa… Megu-nee really is moving in with my abominable nii-san. Maybe it's really time to let her go…"

Kazuto sighed as he slumped against the walls.

"I already made it clear that Megumin isn't moving in yet. Stop spreading that gossip already."

"Kazuma said 'yet', so there really are plans for that in the future?!"

To Darkness who was way too invested in her friends' love lives, I said,

"Instead of getting so worked up over us, Darkness should focus on her own problems. Of course I'm referring to Darkness not having a lover despite already nearing the end of her prime years…"

"I'm… I'm still quite young! That is, there's still time! And I'm focused on my work and the company, so things like having a lover is not that important right now!"

Spoken like a true Christmas cake.

As everyone was mingling and getting along, I joined Megumin in the kitchen.

"I think we have enough food for now."

She looked at me blankly.

"Considering we have Komekko and Aqua here, there's no such thing as 'enough food'."

She made a fair point.

We stocked the fridge in anticipation of this event, but it looked like we were quickly running out of supplies.

While Megumin prepared more food, she sent me out to for a shopping errand to restock the fridge.

"Hosting parties is really such a pain…"

"Yeah, but it feels good, doesn't it? Having friends come over your home, trying your best to act like good hosts… There's a certain satisfaction in that."

At that moment, I thought, Megumin would make a really good wife.

I kept those happy thoughts to myself as I headed out.

The weather was getting chilly, so I wore a winter coat over my standard street clothes.

I shivered slightly as I stuffed my hands in my pockets.

I didn't need to hurry as there was a convenience store across the street, but I couldn't take my time either, as I was already aware how crazy Komekko-chan's appetite is.

As I crossed the street, I looked back at the apartment building.

I looked to the second floor and spotted my room. Through the blinds I could see the lights peering out brightly and the silhouettes of our guests moving about.

I could make out the form of Aqua boisterously laughing about something and Yunyun fidgeting by the corner, probably gathering the courage to join in on the conversation.

I smiled to myself before I headed to the convenience store.

"Welcome, dear customer!"

The cashier greeted me as I went through the automatic doors.

I pulled out a basket from a stack and surveyed the aisles.

As I was looking over some dry curry mixes, I felt the gaze of someone watching me.

I looked up and met this person's eyes.

"Kazuma-kun? Is that you?"

It took me a few seconds, but I soon recognized her.

"...!"

One of the reasons I became a NEET all those years ago was due to a heartbreak I went through over a childhood friend I had a crush on back then.

And now I was face to face with this same childhood friend.

…

 **...**

"Here's your coffee, Kazuma-kun."

"...Thanks, Tanigawa-san."

"What's with that tone? I know it's been a while, but we were pretty friendly before, weren't we? So what's with this 'Tanigawa-san'?"

We were still in the convenience store. Upon her insistence, we purchased some coffee and took a seat by the longue area reserved for customers.

"I heard you're doing well these days, Kazuma-kun. I heard that wasn't the case a few years ago, but I'm glad you're back on track."

"R-Right…"

I didn't know how it was that everyone seemed to know about my NEET years. Even that real estate agent knew all about it. Just how much did my parents gossip about me?

"Well, that's all in the past. How are you doing these days, Tanigawa-san?"

"Again with the Tanigawa-san… Well, I'm doing alright, too, I suppose. Actually, I'll be moving to Tokyo next week."

I sipped on my coffee. "Tokyo, huh…?"

"Yep! It's always been a dream of mine! Moving into the big city and making a name for myself there. Don't you remember me talking about it all the time?"

I couldn't recall anything.

Actually, when I think about it, there wasn't much I could remember about this girl I had feelings for.

Even back in middle school, when I had my heart broken, we had already started to grow apart.

Our interactions were limited to polite greetings and some small talk we'd exchange with each other when we happened to cross paths.

When I thought about it...

What did I like about her anyways?

The only thing I could think of was that 'promise' we made as kids to marry each other once we grew up.

To think I clung on to a promise we made as kids.

I didn't even know much about this girl, at least, I couldn't recall anything of importance.

And to be honest…

I was only calling her 'Tanigawa-san' right now because I completely forgot her first name.

"Pffft!"

"Eh? Kazuma-kun? What are you laughing about?"

"Ah, sorry. I'm not laughing at you, really."

"...That only makes you more suspicious."

All this time...

I blamed that incident for the reason I went into NEET mode, but in hindsight, any other lame excuse could have worked.

In reality, I was simply running away from everything.

I was running away from my responsibilities and the hard work that came with the grind of everyday life.

I was never broken to begin with.

I thought that I was recovering the pieces I had lost during those idle years, when in fact, I was just starting to lay the foundations for the person I ought to become.

All it took was Megumin showing me all she had, to show me how a person could become whole even if they had very little to work with.

She gave me the push I needed to start finding myself.

"So, Tokyo, huh? Aren't the renting prices there outrageous?"

"Erk! Don't remind me! It's not like the places here are all that cheap."

"Well, it depends on the connections you have. If you have connections in the right places, it's hard for people to rip you off, you know? And if they do, it'll be awkward for them to face you if you come across each other in the marketplace, or something."

"Really? Uwaa… Kazuma-kun is so knowledgeable. You've grown into a dependable adult, haven't you?"

"Yeah, I'd like to think so."

 **Part 9**

We said our goodbyes.

We didn't put up any pretenses of ever seeing each other again. We didn't even exchange email addresses.

Not that we left off on a disagreeable note, our little reunion was actually quite pleasant.

For all it was worth, I was glad to meet her before she left for good. I got some closure for that embarrassing part of my past.

I resumed with my shopping and then headed home.

When I got there, the party was still on full swing.

"Kazuma, you sure took your time! Quick, get cooking!"

"Sure…"

I was reprimanded by Aqua as soon as I got home, with a newly arrived Cecily-san standing beside her.

I waved to her in greeting.

"Glad you could make it, boss."

She nodded to me and said,

"Yeah, sorry. I was busy attending a meeting. Hm… Is it just me, or is something different about Kazuma-kun?"

"Fufu. Maybe Cecily-san is finally starting to see me as a man? Please don't fall for me, I'm already taken."

Cecily-san looked at me seriously for a second.

"You know, as much as we like to joke about it, Kazuma-kun does have his charms, you know? A dependable man who's got it all figured out. You shouldn't carelessly say those lines to other women now that you're committed to Megumin-chan."

"E-Eh? Seriously…? Eh?"

Have I already reached that stage?

The stage where I shouldn't carelessly flirt with women now that I've become attractive in their eyes?

"Pfft! Cecily, you can't be serious! Everyone knows that only a total weirdo like Megumin would fall for a guy like this!"

It was a good thing Megumin was busy in the kitchen, or she would have flown out and started viciously attacking Aqua for that comment.

"Waaa! Waaaaa! I need to find a man soon! How did a young maiden like Megumin get a man before I diiid!"

"T-There, there…"

Off in the corner, being consoled by Rain-san, was Darkness. It seemed that she got a bit of alcohol in her system.

Fearing the consequences, I didn't buy any alcohol for this party, so it seems Cecily-san must have brought some over.

"I feel your pain, Dustiness-san! Why is it that successful, self-sufficient women like us can't find any guys?! Damn them!"

"P-Please don't say my real name so loudly, Claire-san!"

It seems like those three already knew each other from somewhere.

I do remember hearing something about Iris coming from a family of great wealth. Maybe Darkness and Iris's families did some business with each other.

"U-Um, I'm also having problems finding men! Well, I'm having problems finding friends in general! Actually, I'm having problems talking to strangers, too, so…"

Yunyun hasn't even been drinking and yet she was in an equally loose-lipped state as the intoxicated ones.

Well, at least they were getting along.

Meanwhile, the younglings: Komekko-chan, Iris and Kazuto, were off at the corner, playing with my PC.

"Oi, I don't remember giving you kids permission to use that."

"Relax, onii-chan. We're not looking at your porn. We're just checking out the new patch notes for the game."

"I… I'm not worried about you finding my porn or anything…"

As I was reeling from having my worries accurately predicted by Iris, Kazuto leaned up to the screen with his eyes bugging out in disbelief.

"Wait… Doesn't it look like the archer-class is getting more nerfs?! And why does it seem like Iris's class keeps getting buffs after every update?!"

Iris cackled at Kazuto's cries of despair.

"Well~ Isn't that convenient for me~!"

"Don't worry, Kazuto-kun! Since you're the weakest member in this team anyways, the nerfs to your character won't affect us as much as you think!"

"Geez, thanks for the vote of confidence, Komekko-chan. Why won't you two treat me kindly? At least Rorisa-san treats me with some respect, and she just recently joined our party…"

"Rorisa-san is just being polite. She's aware of how useless you are."

"Why you…!"

I left the kids alone as Iris and Kazuto started getting into a heated argument.

I finally headed to the kitchen.

"Kazuma sure took a long time. You like to take your time in everything, don't you?"

"Oi. It takes me a while, but I always pull through in the end, you know?"

"True. But since I've been in the kitchen all day, it's Kazuma's turn to cook now."

"Eh?"

She untied her apron and cheerily tossed it to me.

"Alright, everyone! Who wants to go through Kazuma's porn while he's busy in the kitchen!"

"I've already got a head start, Megumin-san! Look, I found his secret folder!"

Patch notes my ass! I knew those kids were up to something!

Oh, well.

I looked to Megumin who was smiling at me along with the others.

I wondered what we looked like to someone outside walking along the cold streets, as they peered into the illuminated windows of my new apartment.

The me from back then would probably roll my eyes and mutter, 'Damn riajuus, blow up already'.

I looked to the one who helped me shed that bitter attitude.

Once more, I thought about the idea of Megumin moving in.

Doing chores together, cooking meals together, complaining about work and school, having to deal with taxes and unexpected student debt, sorting through voice mail and trying to seperate the scam calls from the real ones…

Everyday filled with ordinary happiness.

In that instant, I saw a glimpse of it.

Our daily lives in this tough, sometimes monotonous, yet wonderful IRL world.

…

 **...**

After the party, Megumin and I were dealing with the clean-up.

"Sigh… We always talk about this, but why don't we just hire a cleaning service to deal with the mess?"

"Because we're both excessively cheap and we'd rather spend several hours cleaning by ourselves than pay people to do it for half the time?"

"You know, in a weird way, we really do fit nicely together, you know?"

She bumped my shoulder as we were washing dishes, making me almost drop the plate I had been washing.

I bumped her back. She laughed.

"Hey, it's getting pretty late out. Maybe for tonight, Megumin should stay over…"

"Yeah, yeah, I was already planning to sleep over anyways. Kazuma doesn't need to act all subtle."

"...Well, for tonight, I'd just like to talk. About us, I guess?"

Now it was Megumin's turn to almost drop the plate she was washing.

"Oi, be careful with those. We just bought those."

"I-It's Kazuma's fault! He knows that I'm somewhat weak to unexpected situations! Saying something like that is…"

I looked away and scratched my cheek, forgetting the fact that my hand was filled with suds.

Megumin let out a snort and a cute giggle before she stood on tiptoes and wiped the soap from my cheek.

"So… Forget the dishes for now. What did you want to talk about, Kazuma?"

I poked her on the forehead with my soapy finger, making her stumble out of her tip-toeing pose.

"Oi…"

"I was just thinking that it'd probably be a while until I get used to living by myself. I had a feeling that I'd get homesick after only a few days."

Megumin glanced around, as if seeing how empty it was in the apartment after everyone else had left.

"So… In that case, won't Megumin stay for a while? At least for a few days. Like an extended sleepover, I guess."

Her eyes widened. She glanced away before meeting my eyes again.

"Hm… I guess that's alright. Maybe my mother won't bother me so much anymore if I at least pretend like I'm trying to make this 'moving in together' thing happen. Alright, if it's only for a week or so, I guess I'm fine with that."

"Yeah, only for a week or so."

And so, Megumin stayed over for a week.

Then another week on top of that.

Then another.

The weeks turned into months.

And the months turned into years.

…

...

 **A/N: Sorry for the wait. This chapter wraps up the story, but there will be an epilogue in the next chapter.**


	8. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 **Editing and Proofreading: LordVTP and Marv**

 **Part 1**

"Hey, Kazuma is going to propose to me today, that's what's going on, right?"

Aqua and Darkness froze as I straightforwardly asked my question.

"W-What gives Megumin that idea?! Ah, your makeup needs a bit of touch up. Here, let me fix that for you."

"..."

A well-dressed Darkness said as she took out her makeup kit for the tenth time since we arrived in this fancy cafe.

...They were too obvious.

Kazuma has been acting pretty weird for the last week or so.

I've had my suspicions, and given the behavior of these two, it's obvious.

Well…

Considering how long we've been dating and how our respective careers are starting to stabilize…

It _would_ be the perfect time for such a thing.

As for how the current situation developed...

Just an hour ago, these two came to our condo and forced me into an expensive looking dress.

Aqua even brought in her professional makeup crew and her hairdresser.

Then they brought me to this fancy cafe and have been restlessly fidgeting and glancing around.

No doubt, they're waiting for Kazuma to arrive.

"If it's not a proposal, then what are we here for?"

"W-We're just hanging out, isn't that what we said?! We haven't had a lot of time to hang out with just us ladies, isn't that right, Aqua?!"

"E-Exactly! Now, Megumin, why don't you have some of this cheesecake?"

"Mmmph!"

I almost choked as Aqua shoved some cheesecake down my mouth.

...They were way too obvious.

My family has also been acting strangely the last few days.

My mother would look at me coyly and go 'fufufu' for no reason.

My father was the most suspicious of all. I'd catch him staring at me for long periods of time only to burst out crying.

As for Komekko… Well, it was hard to get anything out of that unpredictable girl.

Speaking of Komekko…

"Aqua, I hope that my little sister isn't causing the agency too much trouble."

As soon as I mentioned Komekko, Aqua's face turned sour.

"Che! That sneaky devil has already seduced the staff with her girlish charms! I used to be the number one idol in their hearts, but doesn't it seem like everyone is forgetting about me now?!"

"Well, I'm glad to hear that my little sister is doing fine. I'm happy."

"Oi! That little sister of yours is trying to steal my job! Even though she's just a rookie, that impudent little brat is…!"

It seems like this washed up idol resents my little sister a fair bit.

I sipped on the milk tea I ordered.

Suddenly, I got a bit nervous.

It's not like Kazuma and I haven't talked about getting engaged and all...

But it's not like we've talked _too_ extensively about the subject either.

I don't have any doubts about how I feel about Kazuma.

Yet, still… I can't help but get increasingly nervous.

…It feels like it was just yesterday when I met Kazuma.

I can still picture him in that ratty tracksuit of his, with bags under his eyes.

He looked like a textbook example of a NEET.

And wasn't I going around wearing an eye patch and colored lenses all those years ago?

"Pffft!"

I couldn't help but giggle as I reminisced about that time.

"Hm, what's Megumin laughing about?"

Aqua asked as I covered my mouth after laughing.

"Hey, Kazuma as he is… What do you guys think about him? As a man, I mean."

Aqua and Darkness looked at each other.

"H-He's the perfect guy! Any girl would be lucky to have him! A perfect marriage candidate for sure!"

"Y-Yeah! Like, say if Kazuma is planning to propose to Megumin or something, I think that Megumin shouldn't have any doubts and just say 'yes'!"

...That reaction pretty much confirms that Kazuma is going to propose today.

"Hmm… I guess it's been a while, so you guys are used to Kazuma as he is now. Well, even when you met him, he was already out of the NEET stage, huh? But there was a time when Kazuma had no appeal whatsoever, you know?"

They looked at each worriedly.

"What is Megumin saying?! Oi, we've been planning for this for so long, so don't… Hmmmph!"

"Don't listen to Aqua, Megumin! I know, I'll order another cake set for us! Waiter!"

It was quite amusing seeing these two freak out.

…

…

A bit later...

"Sorry I'm late, everyone."

Kazuma apologized as he took his seat.

"Brr…! It's cold outside, isn't it?!"

He took off his gloves and stuffed them in the pockets of his coat.

But, when he pulled his hand out of his pocket…

...A small black box fell out.

"..." x 4.

He put it back.

"A-Ah, I heard the cheesecake here is good."

"Y-Yeah, try this one, Kazuma! I propose that you order this one. I mean, not propose!"

They were actually pretending as if nothing happened!

Those three were frantically glancing at each other.

I wish they'd make it less obvious.

"S-So how's work, Kazuma?"

"...Why is Aqua asking me that? I work for you."

"O-Oh, that's right! Haha…"

Could they just drop the act already?

"Ah, h-hey, Aqua! Maybe we should go to the bathroom, or something?!"

"Why? I don't need to pee right now."

"Just come!"

Perhaps sensing that they were getting in the way, Darkness dragged Aqua off to the bathroom.

Once we were left alone, I said to Kazuma,

"So… Got anything to say to me?"

He flinched.

"That obvious, huh?"

"...I literally saw the box fall out of your pocket."

"Sorry… I planned for this to go a bit smoother…"

I giggled as he groaned in frustration.

"I don't really care if it's perfect or not. Can I see it?"

"See what?"

"The ring."

"I feel like we're skipping a bunch of steps here."

"Since when have we ever done this whole relationship thing properly? May I see it?"

He hesitated for a moment, but took out the box and handed it to me anyways.

I opened it and looked inside.

"...It's beautiful."

"Well, I've been saving up."

"How much did you spend on this?"

"Why is that the first thing that comes to Megumin's mind every time?"

"I'm just kidding. Thanks, I love it."

I closed the box and gave it back to him.

"Well, I guess I ruined the opportunity to propose now."

"You can try again later after this first failure. That's Kazuma's style anyways, right?"

"What is Megumin saying… Hehe."

We started laughing together.

"Hey, why don't you say we leave those two with the bill and get out of here?"

"Yeah, I don't think I can afford to pay for a fancy place like this after buying that ring… Wait, I don't think I was supposed to say that. Why are you looking at me like that, Megumin?! I threw away the receipt already so don't even think about returning it!"

He read my mind perfectly.

We left the store and walked into the cold streets. The ground was covered with a thin layer of frost.

I was wearing my coat, but the cold still percolated inside.

Wanting warmth, I held Kazuma's arm to leech off his body heat.

"Where are we going?"

Kazuma asked while shivering.

"I'm still hungry since they only served cakes and tea back there. Let's go to a burger joint or something."

"Now that you mention it, I'm hungry, too. For what it was worth, that cheesecake wasn't filling at all."

We went to the closest burger joint, which was only a block away.

"Ahhh…" x 2.

We sighed in relief as we entered the heated building.

"I'll go and order. Megumin should choose a table for us to sit by."

I didn't pick a table by the windows even though those spots were my favorite, as we were trying to avoid the cold as much as possible.

I chose a table closest to the kitchen, where it was warm from all the cooking.

Kazuma soon arrived with our food.

He placed the tray down on the table. He ordered two cheese burgers, a large order of fries to share between us, a coffee for himself, and a hot cocoa for me.

"Hm… I can't help but feel nostalgic for some reason."

I said as I sipped on the hot cocoa.

"Now that I think about it… Isn't this place kind of familiar?"

Kazuma said while chewing on a fry.

"We did go to a lot of junk food joints over the years, especially around this area."

"I know. Even when we were still getting to know each other, when I was helping Megumin with her high school entrance exams… Wait, I think I remember now! Wow, what a coincidence! I even got Megumin some hot cocoa that time, remember?"

It clicked for me.

"That's right… After we first met in that internet cafe, Kazuma took me to a burger joint and treated me to a meal. This is the place, huh?"

"Yeah, so it seems…"

We looked around the restaurant.

"No wonder I didn't recognize it. Everything about this place seems so different," I said, looking around.

"Speaking of that internet cafe, we haven't visited that place in forever."

"Maybe we should go take a look."

After we finished eating, we ordered two more hot cocoas for the road.

We stuck close together and sipped on the hot cocoas to stay warm.

When we made it to the internet cafe, we were surprised to see that almost nothing had changed.

"Say, wasn't Megumin quite friendly with the owner of this place? He'd give Megumin discounts so she could afford to rent a computer for the night even with her meager allowance…"

Kazuma said as we went inside.

"A lot of older men were kind to me back then, for some reason. Remember Kazuma's old boss in that convenience store he used to work at? He'd always treat me and Komekko with the store merchandise, even paying out of his own pocket."

"Oh, that's right. How could I have forgotten? This town is full of lolicons."

Kazuma said with a blank look in his eyes.

We didn't see the old owner around. Apparently his son had taken over the business.

We booked a booth for a couple of hours.

"It's surprising to me how that game is still online even after all this time. For such a shitty game, it has a surprisingly strong fanbase."

Kazuma said as we both logged on that game we always played back then.

"Oh, look. Kazuto-kun and the others are online."

"Shouldn't they have classes right now? Don't tell me they're skipping?!"

"I don't think the Kazuma who ditched school for all those years should have the right to get mad over this."

"D-Damn it!"

Speaking of Kazuto-kun and the others…

"I heard that Kazuto-kun and my little sister is actually…"

"I don't want to hear it! I refuse to believe that my cute Komekko-chan is actually dating that unruly brother of mine! That damn delinquent!"

"Again, I don't think Kazuma, the former NEET, should have any right to judge."

I said sternly to the older brother who was currently dissing his little brother.

"Oh, look. They all went offline as soon as we went online. I'll have to give them a talking to later. I bet it was that delinquent brother of mine who convinced them to skip classes in the first place!"

"Kazuma's really blaming everything on Kazuto-kun, huh? Knowing Komekko-chan, she's probably the ringleader of this operation."

After playing around for a bit, we left the internet cafe and went back into the cold streets.

We didn't have a specific place to go, so we just wandered around.

There were already Christmas decorations out in the street.

Christmas lights were strewn around lamp posts, while department stores went all out with the festive decorations.

"I didn't really think much of it before, but the streets are always beautiful around this time, huh?"

Kazuma glanced around. "Back when I was a NEET, I hated this time of year. A bunch of couples walking around like they own the place, obnoxious lights and decorations everywhere… Hey, Megumin, do you ever think sometimes that you're betraying your old self?"

He brought this strange topic out of nowhere.

"How so?"

"For example, didn't Megumin used to go around wearing a wearing a chuunibyou outfit? Fingerless gloves, a choker, an eyepatch… And she used to say things like 'I am Megumin! Wielder of Explo…!"

"Gah, stop it! Why is Kazuma bringing that up?!"

I hurriedly intervened before he could say any more about that time of my life.

He chuckled. "I'm just saying… Maybe sometimes it's OK to go back to the way we used to act when we were kids, you know? It would be kind of sad to completely abandon our past, no matter how embarrassing it is. There was a time when we were resolutely determined to stay the way we were. Saying things like: 'I won't ever change'. Certainly, back then, we would have scoffed at all these normies walking around and enjoying their youth, yet, here we are joining them! Well, I don't know where I'm going with this, haha…"

"Kazuma's saying weird stuff again… Are you going through your midlife crisis?"

"I'm not even at that point in my life yet!"

As a result of Kazuma putting weird thoughts into my head, I got to thinking. What would the me from the past say about my present self?

Should that even matter? The purpose of growing up was to eventually grow out of those embarrassing stages, right?

"Even if Kazuma says all that, I don't think you can go back to acting like a NEET and I don't think I can go back to my chuunibyou days…"

"I'm not saying that I want to go back to being a NEET! Geez, nevermind. Just a thought."

"Could it be that Kazuma is just reminiscing about doing all sorts of things to the young me?"

"N-No, of course not!"

He glanced away suspiciously.

Still...

The way I was before…

That got me thinking to how I was before I met Kazuma.

My family was always poor, so I was used to a life of poverty since a young age.

I didn't view it as a misfortune as it was 'daily life' for me.

Even with these circumstances, I was able to grow up without any problems.

When Komekko was born, I began to see things differently.

The reality of my situation was only apparent to me once I had a little sister to look after.

I didn't want Komekko to grow up in the poor living conditions that I once considered normal.

But what could a child like me do?

The only thing I could do was become a strong onee-chan to this newly born little sister.

I wanted to be strong enough for Komekko to depend on.

Even if I had to pretend to be something I wasn't.

...Well, maybe I got a bit too carried away with the whole 'pretend' part.

Somehow, in my attempts to be a dependable onee-chan, I started getting wrapped up in my own delusions and became a bit of a chuunibyou.

Wearing ridiculous outfits, coming up with cool catch phrases to say, adopting a stray cat from the street to use as my familiar, and roleplaying as a powerful, busty mage who uses Explosion magic in the MMO I was playing...

Gah! Make those painful memories go away!

"Megumin? You alright? Maybe we should start heading home now. We've been walking around for a while."

Kazuma said as I grabbed my head in pain after relieving those memories.

"Shouldn't we go back to Aqua and Darkness at that cafe?"

I almost forgot about those two. Whoops.

"I already texted them a while ago… Well, they think that I already proposed, so let's just keep the matter of me chickening out a secret, OK?"

"We could try this another day."

"How about we consider ourselves engaged and I can just give you the ring right now?"

"Even if I'm a pragmatic girl, I still appreciate romantic gestures."

"Yeah, yeah…"

…

...

When we got back home, we saw four pairs of shoes that weren't ours on the shoe rack.

"Those problem children skipping class are using our love nest as a delinquent hang out…"

"Don't call our condo a 'love nest'. And it's Kazuma's fault for making a gaming PC room for those kids and giving them spare keys for our condo. You're spoiling them too much."

"I don't want to hear that from this #1 siscon over here."

After taking off our shoes and coats, we snuck into the gaming room.

Those kids are making a lot of noise even while intruding into someone else's love nest… I mean, home.

"GTFO skrub! Take this…! Ah."

"Damn it! How is Iris always kicking my ass…?! I demand a rematch…! Ah."

Kazuto-kun and Iris had been playing some sort of fighting game on a console.

A new console.

"Oi…"

I looked to this fat-wallet uncle who likes to spoil the kids whenever possible.

"I-It was on sale! Anyways, explain yourselves! And the two girls hiding over there should come out!"

"We've been caught…"

"As expected of Kazuma-san…"

My sister and a white haired girl emerged from their hiding spots.

It seems they sensed our approach and hid themselves.

Seeing those two come out, Kazuto said,

"Oi, Komekko-chan and Rorisa-san knew that we'd get busted but they didn't even try to warn us?! You were using us as scapegoats, weren't you?!"

"That's not the problem here. You're all in so much trouble! Do you always hang out here to skip classes?!"

"Yeah, that's right, nii-san. So maybe next time you and Megu-nee should be cleaning this place regularly so we wouldn't find so much evidence of your nightly lovemaking sessions!"

"..." x 2.

We'd normally clean the place if we had friends over, but due to our busy schedules…

We blushingly picked up the stray pieces of lingerie and other 'bedroom items' that were littered around.

"Wait, why are we the ones being scolded. It's you kids who are skipping classes right now!"

"Urk!"

As the most mature of the group, Rorisa stepped up and bowed in apology to us.

"Please forgive me. I actually have a school holiday right now. The others didn't want me to get lonely when I had the day off to myself and volunteered to keep me company…"

"I'm pretty sure those three are just using you as an excuse to goof off."

"That can't be! My friends have good intentions! ...Right?"

The other three looked away.

Kazuma proceeded to lecture the guilty party.

"We're sorry… We won't do it again."

The kids apologized, but they weren't being very convincing.

After Kazuma's lecture…

"I should head home now. Pardon my intrusion."

Rorisa politely said while bowing to Kazuma and I.

"Hm… It's starting to snow pretty hard outside, so I'll go home with you, Rorisa-san. I'd offer you a ride but my limo had to be sent to the shop to get new winter tires."

Iris said after peeking out of the curtains and seeing the worsening weather outside.

"Well, good luck with that. I'll just stay here and play some games…"

"Oi, you're coming with us. What kind of man are you to let two ladies walk home by themselves?"

Kazuto sneered. "Well, I guess it would be rude to Rorisa-san if I don't walk her home. Ouch! Sorry, Iris!"

Iris left with a huff, followed by Rorisa and Kazuto.

We both looked at Komekko who was making herself comfortable on the couch.

She was laying on it with the remote control in her hand. She turned on the TV.

Kazuma snatched the control away from her.

"Oi! Don't think you're getting off so easily, young lady! Come to think of it, why did we let the others go? I should have lectured them more!"

Komekko stared blankly at Kazuma.

Then she took out another remote control from behind her back.

Kazuma sighed. "I'll go make some tea."

This guy, for all his talk, also has a soft spot for this little one.

Komekko was flipping through the channels.

She settled on a variety show that featured an idol group playing a Christmas song guessing game.

Wait a minute…

"Isn't that Komekko?!"

I pointed to the screen where a girl who was clearly Komekko was dressed in an idol outfit among other similarly dressed girls.

"Why is nee-chan so surprised? The great Komekko is already doing gigs like this."

"I can see the great Komekko's panties on TV."

"Where?! They should have edited it out?! …Very funny, nee-chan."

I playfully ruffled her hair.

"Hey, nee-chan, did nii-chan propose yet?"

I averted my eyes.

"The plan was to propose at the cafe."

"I-I know."

"Don't tell me onii-chan chickened out?"

"It's not that he chickened out, it's just that he kind of failed many important steps."

"Somehow, I saw this coming."

This child was always the first to say 'I told you so'.

"Hey, nee-chan."

"Hm, what is it, mischievous little sister of mine?"

"Well, as you can see, I'm a pretty darn successful idol now. I'm the rising star of Japan."

"...Komekko should learn to have some humility."

"I have a group of friends who are very fun to hang out with, too. And, er, with Kazuto-kun, er…"

She blushed. So there were even moments when the mighty Komekko could blush, huh?

"All I'm saying is I don't need nee-chan anymore! So… So in terms of looking after me and stuff, um…!"

Ah.

That's what she meant.

"Alright, I get it."

"You do? Good. Because these kinds of talks are embarrassing."

"Even for the great Komekko?"

"Especially for the great Komekko."

…

...

"Eh? Did Komekko just leave?"

Kazuma finally came back with tea and a bunch of cakes and snacks.

This guy really loves to spoil Komekko.

"Is she going home by herself? In this weather?"

"Seems like she's getting a ride from Cecily-san."

"Hah… If she was getting a ride anyways, why didn't she offer to give the others a ride, too?"

I blushed. She probably did that to have some time alone to talk to me.

"Well, let's not let Komekko's sacrifice be in vain. Kazuma, you should propose now."

"Eh?! Saying 'you should propose now'... Does Megumin really understand how this works?!"

"Kazuma did prepare a speech or something, didn't he?"

"I did, but I don't really know if it's good or not."

"It doesn't matter. I don't expect very much, anyways."

"Megumin is setting me up to fail."

"You already failed once to begin with."

"Urk!"

He drank some tea to clear his nerves.

"Well, I'm thinking maybe I should propose in two parts."

"Why two parts?"

"Well… Hang on a sec…"

He went into our bedroom.

When he came back…

"...Why is Kazuma wearing that old tracksuit?"

"This… This is the first part of the proposal! A proposal straight out of the me from my NEET period!"

"Why is this even important? I have a feeling Kazuma is just stalling."

"It's important for me, OK?! Megumin is the one who's forcing me to propose right now, so just put up with it!"

"Actually, you were planning to propose today anyways, but do go on."

He stood in front of me with his hands in his pockets.

I never really thought about how much taller Kazuma had grown over the years until I now see him wearing his old tracksuit.

"Um… Well, as Megumin knows, I was in a bit of a rough spot before we met. I don't know if I told Megumin this before, but one of the reasons why I shut myself off from the outside world was due to a bad experience with my childhood friend. This childhood friend and I promised to marry once we grew up. However, we started growing apart, and then, when we were in Junior High, I saw her riding in the back of a bike with a delinquent upperclassman. Well, I actually met this same childhood friend a while ago and…"

"I… I suppose I can forgive this one instance of adultery. But just this once!"

"That's not where I'm heading with this! This is supposed to be a proposal, remember?! Stop interrupting!"

I couldn't help but tease him.

"A… Anyways. After I met with this childhood friend, I realized that I never really had any deep feelings for her at all and that I was just using that one event as a justification to run away from the harsh realities of life. I didn't want to go to school and study hard only to go on to University and study some more, with the only thing to look forward to was a lifetime of slaving away for a company… Such a daunting outlook of the future frightened me. I just didn't realize that, all those things, the arduous grind of daily life, it isn't so difficult to get through if you have someone you love at your side. So… I'm glad I met you Megumin."

He smiled.

…

…

Kazuma came back wearing the outfit he was wearing before he put on the tracksuit.

"This is a rather elaborate proposal, isn't it?"

"Wasn't Megumin obsessed with dramatic stuff like this in the past? Anyways, this is the proposal of the adult me."

He took out a stack of paper and placed it on the coffee table before me.

"...This is an actual proposal. Like, an actual business proposal."

"Don't glare at me like that! It's not some twisted joke! What this is, is my plan for the next ten years. Including building a family, how to balance family life and our careers, as well as back up plans for any setbacks we might come across the way."

I briefly glanced through. When I flipped through to the last page…

I recognized a familiar document.

"Aren't these the marriage papers your mother made when our families first met?"

"Yep. Remember, my family was offering you all their assets and stuff in case we ever divorce, and all these ridiculous conditions. Oh, they also offered to pay for your schooling, too, which ended up happening."

In fact, Kazuma's family did end up paying for my schooling.

Looking at this document…

"Wait, they actually signed it that night?! I thought that they were just joking around with that arranged marriage thing?!"

"Yep, and my family held up their side of the deal by paying for your schooling. So, technically, we've been engaged since then."

Unbelievable…

When I set the papers down, I saw that Kazuma was on one knee.

"Megumin, will you marry me?"

He offered me the ring.

"..."

...The night we first met, I was feeling pretty lonely.

Like Kazuma, I couldn't see where I'd be in the future.

Like my small, cramped apartment, I felt like my ceiling was limited.

It wasn't hard for me to figure out all that I was because I didn't have much to begin with.

I was merely glad to have someone to share my small, contained world with, but being with Kazuma…

I felt as if the whole world was ours for the taking.

"Fufufu… Fufufufu!"

I rose from my seat and struck a pose.

"Eh? Megumin?"

Still on one knee, Kazuma looked at me with wide eyes as I showed him a nostalgic sight.

"The seal has been broken! The past and the present has connected! By putting on this ring of power… We will make a crimson path to the future!"

I took the ring and wore it.

"With this, we are one! One in body, mind and spirit! What do you say to that, Kazuma?!"

"Uh… S-Sure!"

He stood up and smiled.

"Then let's celebrate this occasion! And what better way than to celebrate than…! O, the twelve sealed taboos, with the seven forbidden arts I summon thee, one is all, and all is one, with that principle, render all to dust! EX… PLOOOOSIOOOON!"

While I was getting carried away, I chanted that 'spell' that was so important to me during my chuuni days.

As soon as those words left my mouth.

"Eh?"

A strangely familiar sensation went through me.

It was familiar, but it felt as if I shouldn't be experiencing this sensation at all.

Suddenly the ring started glowing.

"Eh? Eh? Ehhh?! Kazuma, what's happening?! Gah…"

I collapsed on the floor.

Suddenly…

Boom…!

There was a loud crashing noise outside.

Kazuma headed to the window.

"What?! The billboard that was advertising that MMO we play, the one on top of that building across from us… It was suddenly blown up in half?!"

"Eh? Could it be…?!"

Megumin was looking in awe at her new ring.

"I-I don't know! But maybe we should evacuate the building!"

"For… For some reason I can't move!"

"I'll carry you! Let's just leave first!"

 **Part 2**

After I carried Megumin in a piggyback downstairs, we grouped up with the other condo tenants in the emergency area.

Later on, some firefighters came to explain the situation.

Not like they knew what happened.

It was being reported as a natural disaster of some sort, but I wasn't so sure about that.

Meanwhile...

"I swear, I'm the one who caused that explosion! My new ring of power started glowing and an unknown power from another world manifested before me! It's true, it's true!"

"Whatever you say, miss…"

...Megumin went back to being a full blown chuunibyou despite having a no nonsense, career woman attitude these last few years.

Why did she regress back to this troublesome stage?

Still, I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss this side of her.

The commotion was taken care off without any hindrances.

When we got back to our condo, I returned the documents back in the folder I received from my mother.

Megumin was in the living room, striking some very nostalgic poses. She kept admiring her ring, which looked very pretty on her.

"Nyaa~! Nyaa~!"

Chomusuke, who had usually been spending her days sleeping and lazing around, recently, surprised me when she got up and started moving around excitedly.

"Come here, my familiar!"

Chomusuke leaped into Megumin's arms, who twirled the cat around.

I went to the kitchen while Megumin was playing with the unusually active Chomusuke.

I took out some ingredients from the fridge and started preparing for dinner.

"Hey, Kazuma."

Megumin called out from the living room.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think about a shotgun wedding?"

"I think that's a terrible idea."

"Why do you think it's such a bad idea? I think it's cool."

"Megumin really has returned back to her chuuni tendencies, huh? As for why it's a bad idea, weddings take a long time to prepare and there's matters of scheduling…"

"We don't need to invite a bunch of people. We could just have a small gathering somewhere nice and have a picnic afterwards."

I tasted the food and added some soy sauce in. "It's not like I want a big wedding, too. But why is Megumin in such a hurry, anyway?"

"I just don't see the point of waiting for the sake of waiting. I got to thinking about what Kazuma said earlier. About what our past selves would think about our current selves, about how much we changed over the years. If I marry Kazuma next week, it'd be a different Megumin whose marrying Kazuma from the Megumin who exists now. Now, imagine if we dilly dally around for a few more months…"

I had those random words I said earlier thrown back at me.

"Well, I suppose it's something to consider…"

We left it at that and then I served dinner.

After we finished our dinner, we watched a bit of T.V. We decided to turn in early.

We went through our nightly routine, brushing our teeth together and taking turns washing our faces.

We had a queen sized bed but there were some nights when we felt like using the futons, and this was one of those nights.

As we were laying down, both of us eventually gravitating into a cuddle, I said to the sleepy Megumin,

"...Um, I can't predict what kind of Kazuma I will be ten years from now, but I'll be in Megumin's care until then."

She looked up at me as I held her in my arms, eyes widening a little. She giggled then nuzzled against my chest.

"I remember Kazuma promising that we'll be together for all our future lifetimes. It's our Crimson Bond!"

"I made such a promise, huh?"

"Yep. I may forget a lot of things but I remember all of Kazuma's promises."

She looked at me meaningfully.

It didn't take long for her to fall asleep.

She had been using my arm as a pillow and fell asleep that way.

What an uncomfortable position…

As I watched her sleep, I thought about my life until this point.

I've come a long way, and I had Megumin to thank.

A shotgun wedding, huh?

I failed today's surprise but maybe I can try again tomorrow.

 **...**

 **The End**

 **...**

 **A/N: I find it really funny how this story expanded from a one-shot lewd fic I wrote for a friend, into a multi-chapter story, one that would take me the better part of a year to complete. I'd like to thank LordVTP and Marv for their help in proofreading, editing, and helping me when I was stuck in a creative rut. I'd also like to thank those who continued to read this story even when the narrative started to shift away from the sexual elements, and began to take on a more character driven tone. Thank you to those who took the time to offer their thoughts and criticisms by reviewing. I try to respond to all the reviews and messages sent my way, but I realize that I'm not the most diligent when it comes to interacting with my readership. To those I unintentionally neglected, thank you for sharing your thoughts.**

 **I don't know if I will write another romance focused story like this one, as this genre isn't really my specialty. But I hope that you will all check it out if I decide to write another one.**

 **Best regards,**

 **BB**


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